Thursday, January 8, 2015

Happy New Year!

Happy new year everybody! This is a note explaining why the blog is going to be a little bit different moving forward. First off, I think I'm going to be losing a whole lot of you due to some changes at Facebook. Starting in this month (January 2015), they will begin charging pages for sharing their content. Since maybe 90% of my readers get here through Facebook, that's going to be a pretty big change.

The second thing is that I've really been struggling over the last year with how to write about my kids now that they're older. The bottom line is this, my kids are no longer at an age where it's cool for me to joke about them being little terror suspects anymore. I've written some pretty good stuff in the past few months but sadly, I don't think I can publish any of it. My kids would be embarrassed if the people that they know in real life (their classmates, or their friends' parents, or even their teachers) were to know such sweet, silly, or personal details. 

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Horrifying School Projects with Mini: The Snow Globe


As many of you know, Mini is now a big girl who goes to kindergarten. The kids in her class are precious and adorable and kind. Her wonderful teachers have made me love them so much that I may marry them. She is learning many interesting things. She has however developed a very tedious habit of questioning everything I tell her, raising one eyebrow and looking skeptical. Then she surreptitiously tests the things I tell her to see if they're true. All of this serves as a backdrop to this story.

I went to go pick her up a little early today and noticed that each of the children in her class had completed a lovely project called "If I were Trapped in a Snowglobe with my Buddy". The results of these projects were proudly displayed in the hallway, where everyone could admire them. There was a picture of each child and their buddy under a clear plastic plate, with white stuff around the edges to make it appear that they were happy creatures inside a snow globe. Underneath the photo, they were supposed to write what they would do while trapped in the snow globe with their buddy. Most of the responses were really sweet. They said things like: "We would make snow angels!" or "I would go sledding with my buddy!"

But not Mini. Of course not. Here is what she wrote:

Monday, December 1, 2014

The RFML Guide to Helping Muthas Out

 - This post is updated from last year! - 

Holy ranch balls  Thanksgiving is this week. That means it's time to start dealing with the freaking holidays. And that does not mean spending too much money and giving in to the constant barrage of advertising that is turning my children into little beasts of consumer consumption and RUINING my precious TV time

For me, making the holidays awesome is easy - make it about HELPING. While we no longer do the gift card exchange, it doesn't mean I can't be a helping holiday hooker. A couple of years ago I started a tradition with my kiddos where every week between Thanksgiving and New Years, we do something good for someone else. It can be big or little, but we do it together. 

Monday, November 24, 2014

SUBJECT: Thanksgiving with Sharon

Happy Thanksgiving week! This post is fiction. It's based loosely on personal experience but is about 95% made up. For those of us who come from untraditional families, the holidays can be a little... special. Please enjoy an email exchange between me, my dad, my husband and my sister regarding our plans for Thanksgiving.
----------------------------------------

TO: Lydia
FROM: Dad
DATE: Monday, November 24 7:30am EDT
RE: Can’t wait to see you

Hi Lydia. Just wanted to touch base about this week’s visit. I hope to arrive on Wednesday evening and plan to leave early Saturday (probably before breakfast - at say 5am). Does that work for you?

TO: Dad
FROM: Lydia
DATE: Monday, November 24 9:17am EDT
RE: Re: Can’t wait to see you

That sounds great. We’re all looking forward to seeing you. The kids can’t wait. They’re already fighting over who gets to sit next to you and if we should drag you out to that Festival of Lights things on Friday. Do you expect to be here in time for dinner on Weds?

TO: Lydia
FROM: Dad
DATE: Monday, November 24 9:20am EDT
RE: Re: Re: Can’t wait to see you

Yes for dinner on Weds. I’m shooting for 5pm but you never know with traffic. I’ll be in touch from the road so you have an accurate ETA. Are you still planning to make Thai food? Sharon and I can’t wait. She’s heard all about your spring rolls.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

How to Make a Legend of Korra Costume (when you suck at making things)

This past Halloween, all three of my kids decided that they HAD to be something extra special. Something so special, in fact, that it was not possible for me to buy them costumes because they did not exist. Because apparently costumes this geeky are not manufactured for children. Which means I was faced with making three separate costumes. Which means I wanted to cry because I'm not actually very good at making things.

Here's who they wanted to be:

(If you want to see the Hunter or Weeping Angel costumes, check out this post right here.)

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