Friday, October 13, 2017

Facebook Live! Unboxing a Swag Bag from NBC's This is Us and Today Parents

Hi everybody! You might have noticed that I've been sharing some blog posts with the wonderful people over at Today Parents. I love working with them so stinking much and sometimes, if I've been a very good blogger, they will send me a present.

About a week ago, they sent me this big, heavy box filled with a tote bag of goodies from the show This is Us. My 7th grader sugested we film an "unboxing" so we gave it a try. My oldest daughter filmed it for me, then took half the stuff. My house is pretty dirty SO DON'T JUDGE ME (especially the brief shots of my dining room where my high schooler does all her homework and I'm currently researching and writing a book). Also BRADY the yellow lab, also known as #GoodBoyBrady makes an appearance. Gus just walks into me and sniffs things.

I hope you enjoy this! If you have comments or questions, click over the Facebook thread and leave them there.



https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand/videos/vb.169526159247/10155900796749248/?type=3&theater

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Sunday, October 8, 2017

The Sunday Morning Crap Collection Process

Every Sunday morning, I do this fun thing where I walk around my house picking up random and assorted debris. Today's haul of random crap included 1 full bag of garbage, 14 hair elastics, 11 cootie catchers, 13 shoes (shouldn't this be an even number?), my good scissors, the phone charger no one will admit to moving, some crumpled up homework assignments that I'm pretty sure were due last week, and a large collection of magnets.  

Also, I'm not sure why so many crumb-filled paper plates were in the bathroom trash because does that mean they're eating in there? When and how is this occurring? And also why? JK, I don't actually want to know. 

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

If you get Migraines, you need to know this.


I don’t suffer from migraines but for a while, I thought I did. It turns out that the debilitating, days-long, nauseating headaches I got were a reaction to a common artificial sweetener. Finding out that I needed to avoid anything with Aspartame totally changed my life. However, I have several close friends and family who suffer from migraines and getting relief for them is not as simple as cutting out Diet Coke.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Back to School Takes 6 Weeks, You Guys.

A long time ago my friend Kate told me that "back to school" is actually a six week transition period. I’ve outlined below how it works at my house with my three kids. 



Week One: The Pregame (the week before school starts)
  • Kids are generally feeling excited, happy, and slightly anxious.
  • Find out about teachers, schedules, classmates, and lockers.
  • Celebrate or freak out accordingly.
  • Hemorrhage money on last-minute items for school/sports/fashion that are suddenly required.
  • Look around the house and shake your head sadly about all the long term projects that did not get done this summer.
  • Savor those last moments sleeping in and going to the pool.
  • Fill out approximately 4,567 pages of forms.
  • Go back and forth about putting kids to bed early/waking them up early to prepare them for the coming schedule change.
  • Give up on that shit because it’s all a goat rodeo at this point in August.
  • JUST TRY TO STAY POSITIVE. 

Friday, August 11, 2017

It's Mid-August and We're Practically Feral

My actual children doing back to school shopping at Target. 
My family is so busy all year that we crave the freedom and flexibility of summer vacation, especially after swim team ends. Our alarm clocks go off by 6am all year, except for this magical time between swim ending and school starting. There is a downside, though. After about 10 days of not having a reason to wake up early, our days lose all sense of order and we become more or less feral. 

Here are ten reasons why we can’t handle not having a schedule:

10. Bedtime? What is this word you speak of? Last night my 8 year old went to sleep at 10:15 and we all thought it was “early”.

9. Breakfast? The most important meal that nobody eats anymore. We’re all sleeping in and nobody wakes up at the same time, and no one seems to be hungry when they do get up. This of course leads to hangriness which leads my kids to argue with each other.

8. The sibling squabbles. Dear God save me from how much these children are fighting with each other over stupid nonsense. I’d send them to their rooms, but at the moment those rooms are so messy that I’m not sure they can even get in there.

7. The messes. On a normal day, we have a time when things get done. Dishes are put in the dishwasher, clutter on the stairs is carried upstairs, socks and shoes - carelessly kicked off and scattered around - are dealt with. But not now. Now there is just stuff EVERYWHERE. 

Random Observation: There are half-empty drinking glasses in every room and it’s getting weird. Remember that movie Signs from like 15 years ago? It’s like that.

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