Thursday, March 26, 2015

I poop glitter.

I was walking through the Wal Marts yesterday and I saw this little beauty on clearance. Before I even knew what I was doing, I had whipped out my phone and taken a picture of it. About 30 things were running through my head simultaneously:
  • No, it does not really say that. 
  • If I don't take a picture then no one will believe that this is real.
  • I would buy it but nothing that poops glitter is coming inside my house.
  • Cleaning up regular glitter is a goddamn nightmare, so poop glitter probably takes all day.
  • The only way that you can poop glitter is if you eat glitter and if that rabbit is eating enough glitter that it becomes his primary marketable characteristic, then he's an idiot.
  • That doll looks vapid and vaguely medicated, like she doesn't even realize it's a rabbit on the end of the leash and not some small breed of large-eared dog. 
  • She looks like the kind of asshole who would buy a glitter-egg pooping bunny for Easter then abandon it at a kill shelter before the first of May. 

Monday, March 23, 2015

Allowance or No Allowance?

Photo by Ponsulak via FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Last week I got an email from my friends at Let's Talk Live asking me if I would be willing to come on the show and talk about allowance for kids. Is it a good idea? A bad idea? How much and how often?

Of course I have no idea about this stuff. We don't do allowance at my house because of a couple of very good reasons:
  • Mommy forgets to pay kids because she never has the right amount of cash and then she gets all confused about how much she owes people and everyone gets dissapointed/angry.*
  • The kids are SUPER ENTHUSIASTIC about our allowance plan! For maybe two weeks. 
  • The longer my kids associate chores with money, the more they seem unwilling to do anything they're not getting paid for.
*I hear the tooth fairy has the same problem. Get it together, ladies.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Reluctant Whole 30 - Results & Follow Up - Updated

It's Day 31 and I did a couple of important follow up things today:
  • I weighed myself (finally).
  • I took "after" measurements.
  • I added dairy (in small amounts) back into my diet, otherwise I'm still eating clean because I don't want to make myself sick.
  • I went to the doctor for a full check-up with bloodwork.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Reluctant Whole 30 Day 30

I did it. Well, I almost did it. I'm going to bed in a few minutes and when I wake up, I'll be done with the Whole 30. So this is today's gif:

Right On

Read more at http://www.reactiongifs.com/tag/proud/#f7TE3LHclhx0pT53.99

Monday, March 16, 2015

Reluctant Whole 30 Days 26-29

This will be the shortest post ever. I'm terribly sorry about dropping off the planet as far as the (near) daily blogging of they Whole 30 is going, but my real life got very busy and by the end of each day I was wiped and just went to bed.

I don't actually remember what I ate 3 days ago, but I can tell you this:
1) It was eggs for breakfast.
2) It was 100% compliant the rest of the time.
3) I probably had at least one snack per day (like apples w cashew butter or a Nick's Stick or something).

So in case you were worried, I didn't cheat or back track. Just got busy with kid activities and work on my house. Tonight I had contractors in my kitchen so I couldn't cook. We went to Outback where I got non-seasoned grilled steak and shrimp, with steamed broccoli on the side ordered off the gluten-free menu.  It was one of two meals I've eaten in a restaurant since starting this. It was nowhere near as good as I remember Outback tasting - that is true. But I had forgotten how incredibly delicious food tastes when it is prepared by someone else. It was AMAZING.

So tomorrow is my last day of my Whole 30. Holy crap. I miscounted and thought my last day was Wednesday. But no. I am actually done tomorrow. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN AND WHAT IN THE HELLING HELL DO I DO NEXT? I never thought I'd make it past the first few days and now here I am. It's all very confusing. So I picked you this for today's gif, because I feel like Brit:

BS



So tomorrow, I'll be wrapping up my last day. Then I'll do a follow up a week later to see how all this food reintroduction is going. Spoiler alert: wine is coming back first.

(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2014

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