Wednesday, September 6, 2017

If you get Migraines, you need to know this.


I don’t suffer from migraines but for a while, I thought I did. It turns out that the debilitating, days-long, nauseating headaches I got were a reaction to a common artificial sweetener. Finding out that I needed to avoid anything with Aspartame totally changed my life. However, I have several close friends and family who suffer from migraines and getting relief for them is not as simple as cutting out Diet Coke.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Back to School Takes 6 Weeks, You Guys.

A long time ago my friend Kate told me that "back to school" is actually a six week transition period. I’ve outlined below how it works at my house with my three kids. 



Week One: The Pregame (the week before school starts)
  • Kids are generally feeling excited, happy, and slightly anxious.
  • Find out about teachers, schedules, classmates, and lockers.
  • Celebrate or freak out accordingly.
  • Hemorrhage money on last-minute items for school/sports/fashion that are suddenly required.
  • Look around the house and shake your head sadly about all the long term projects that did not get done this summer.
  • Savor those last moments sleeping in and going to the pool.
  • Fill out approximately 4,567 pages of forms.
  • Go back and forth about putting kids to bed early/waking them up early to prepare them for the coming schedule change.
  • Give up on that shit because it’s all a goat rodeo at this point in August.
  • JUST TRY TO STAY POSITIVE. 

Friday, August 11, 2017

It's Mid-August and We're Practically Feral

My actual children doing back to school shopping at Target. 
My family is so busy all year that we crave the freedom and flexibility of summer vacation, especially after swim team ends. Our alarm clocks go off by 6am all year, except for this magical time between swim ending and school starting. There is a downside, though. After about 10 days of not having a reason to wake up early, our days lose all sense of order and we become more or less feral. 

Here are ten reasons why we can’t handle not having a schedule:

10. Bedtime? What is this word you speak of? Last night my 8 year old went to sleep at 10:15 and we all thought it was “early”.

9. Breakfast? The most important meal that nobody eats anymore. We’re all sleeping in and nobody wakes up at the same time, and no one seems to be hungry when they do get up. This of course leads to hangriness which leads my kids to argue with each other.

8. The sibling squabbles. Dear God save me from how much these children are fighting with each other over stupid nonsense. I’d send them to their rooms, but at the moment those rooms are so messy that I’m not sure they can even get in there.

7. The messes. On a normal day, we have a time when things get done. Dishes are put in the dishwasher, clutter on the stairs is carried upstairs, socks and shoes - carelessly kicked off and scattered around - are dealt with. But not now. Now there is just stuff EVERYWHERE. 

Random Observation: There are half-empty drinking glasses in every room and it’s getting weird. Remember that movie Signs from like 15 years ago? It’s like that.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

The Last Good Race


When your children stop doing a sport or an activity that your family has been part of for a long time, it's a milestone. We've been on a swim team for eight years and now my kids are ready to move on (even if I'm not). Being on that team is what made the amorphous collection of pre-planned subdivisions where we live feel like a community. It was also something that we did together - all the kids on the same team and the parents serving as volunteers. It was a shared experience. 

At our last swim meet, my friends and I alternately cheered as our kids competed, ate italian ice, and fanned ourselves in folding chairs trying to stay cool in the merciless mid-Atlantic heat. After four hours, we were tired and impatient for the last event of the night. 

When it was time, we stood by the fence to watch. I'd been fine the whole evening, anticipating this moment. This was when I'd let myself get emotional. This was when I'd savor every second because the ending of it all was going to feel real. I braced myself.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

What I Didn't Say Before Try Outs

My oldest is trying for a high school sport today. Here's what I said to her: 
  • Have fun! I love you!

Here's what I wanted to say/blurt out like a crazy person but did not:
  • Be confident! Even if you don't feel confident! You can do this! 
  • Listen and be coachable! Make eye contact and let the coaches know you're hearing them and getting it!
  • If you make a mistake, just own it and reset with a great attitude!
  • I'm not going to be in the parking lot frenetically playing Candy Crush wondering how it's going. That would be super weird. 
  • Give high fives and praise to your team-mates for good play! Spread a positive attitude! 
  • DO NOT GET CHATTY WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
  • If you have a choice between diving for a ball or a pass you probably won't get and letting it pass you by, YOU GO FOR IT.
  • Ask questions and be focused!
  • I AM SO PROUD OF YOU AND HOW HARD YOU HAVE WORKED.
  • It may not work out and that's ok. We'll have a huge pity party for one day and eat all the chocolate and Chipotle and then regroup and move forward. 
  • OMG I'M FINE I'M NOT EVEN NERVOUS WHATEVER THIS IS ABOUT YOU.
  • Hydrate!
  • Offer to help/say thank you/be respectful/all the things we raised to you do. 
  • Know in your heart that who makes it is about the team and not about you and that's how it should be
  • There's a lesson in everything and it will all be ok so just have fun and relax.
  • I will be totally cool and not at all twitchy on the ride home tonight and wait for you to tell me about everything in your own time EVEN IF IT KILLS ME.
  • I love you so much and I am your biggest fan and you are the most amazing kid. And these are not tears in my eyes I have allergies so shut up.


(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2017

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