Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Clogs vs. Choos - You be the Judge

I swear Lydia is going to be the end of me. I am ALL about her new 'do, her purchase of yoga pants for the purpose of doing yoga and her Wii Fit activities (myself, I just do the Zen balance game by putting our huge Encyclopedia Britannica on the Wii board and walk away. The Wii always puts up this message: "Your weight has changed significantly since your last use. Would you like to continue?" Oh, even yesser I want to continue. I now weigh 42 pound or whatever that book weighs, and I ROCK that game. Wii compliments me on how still I can sit and how well I meditate, and I'm really over at my desk writing this and eating a donut. And that's how you play Wii.) But then this happened:

Lydia: I wore a skirt today!
[phone rings again]
Lydia: Sorry. I think my phone just died of shock.
Kate: What?! You in a skirt? That's fantastic!
Lydia: Yep! A cute jean skirt from Old Navy (I bought it last week when I was getting new yoga pants for $12!!) -- and Thumbelina was like "Wow Mommy. I looooooove your skirt! I wish I had one just like that but in a much much smaller size." -- and a cute black top, black opaque tights, clogs and I showered and --
Kate: Wait. I'm sorry. What?
Lydia: I showered.
Kate: Gotcha. Right before that part...
Lydia: Clogs? They --
[phone rings again]
Kate: Now you just killed my phone too.
Lydia: Any. Way. So these cute black clo--
Kate: No, sister. Stop there. Don't say that word to me.
Lydia: What? You mean, clog-
[confused silence]
Lydia: But they were cute.
Kate: No. Impossible.
Lydia: No. They're not like frumpy clogs --
Kate: OK, you must stop. Unless you are either Dutch, or performing in some Heritage Day festival with the wooden ones with the pointy tips, I cannot have a discussion with you about clogs. You might as well smoosh your feet into really thick mud and then let it dry and pretend those are shoes
Lydia: Suck it, fancy. These are special clogs. They're --
Kate: By special, do you mean orthopedic?
Lydia: Well, yes. Actually they are orthopedic.
Kate: They may as well be geriatric. They are orthopedic clogs, Lydia. They have to go.
Lydia:'d like them. They're cute. And, HELLO, I wore a skirt.
Kate: OK, you get a pass for this one. ONE. Promise me you won't buy PajamaJeans.
Lydia: No way. They'd go awesome with my CLOGS!
Kate: I have to hang up now. You're hurting me.
Lydia: You know what doesn't hurt? My feet. Cuz I'm wearing clogs.
Kate: Can you stop saying that word?
Lydia: (singing) Cloggitty clog! CLOGTASTIC! Clogriffic! Clooooogggs!
Kate: Seriously? I'm going to write about this and embarrass you.
Lydia: Bring it on, Choo. They're totally going to be on my side.

Kate: OK, we'll let them vote. If you win, I'll sacrifice a pair of shoes. If I win, the clogs go.
Lydia: First of all - which pair of clogs? I have three!
Kate: [sigh] You're not kidding, are you?
Lydia: No! I love them! And I bet I'll win and I'll get to keep my clogs. You know why? One word: PITY.
Kate: Crap. You may be right.

And now, for the Major Motion Picture Event! Grab some popcorn moms...this is epic.

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