Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Kate's TaLENT for Bad Ideas

So it's out there now, which means I have to stick it out for the next 40 days. And, even after a week I still have 39 days to go. How is that?? Because, haha, what I learned this weekend? Lent is actually 46 days. Fan. Tas. Tic.

For those who don't know, I announced last week that I have given up wine for Lent. Which is so funny. Because I. Gave. Up. Wine. When I said I was doing it, McGee got this incredulous look on her face and said, "You? Giving up wine? Seriously?" So she had to give up Wii. I would haha, but I had to give up wine.

And that's not even the least of it. Wine is sorta like my bottom line. I may have a cosmopolitan when I'm out, or even a Vodka & Tonic during the summer when I feel like playing bartender, but I'm not much of a drinker besides wine. So, while all of you who suggested vodka, or bourbon, or flat-out shots of tequila with a Jaegermeister chaser, that's -- awesome. -- but maybe not where I'm headed.

Basically, it's translating into I've given up drinking for -- sigh -- 39 more days.

And dessert.

And my favorite snack food.

Because I'm a moron. A pious moron, but a moron nevertheless.

And, I'm not even Catholic. McLovin is...even though he insists that St. Patrick's Day doesn't count. I totally call bullsh*t on that. But, the whole family has adopted Lent as a way to thank him for doing basically everything else all Protestant-y. So, McGee has given up Wii, Lefty has given up desserts, and Happy has apparently given up trying to even kid us that he's a good boy. Ever.

So far, Happy has been the most successful Lent-er.

So, where do I stand, on Day 8? My kitchen has been woefully neglected. I once told you all how much I love it, despite its tiny-ness and stupid layout. I would linger in there and make dinner and random little treats and surprises for lunches. But, admittedly, it was done with a glass of wine nearby. Now dinner is like Operation SlamSomeFoodOnTheTable. I'm like the Marines; quick in, annihilate everything, vanish. And, since 3 of the 5 of us are dessert-free, the other two have to sorta suck it up. Cuz I'm not gonna make stuff that I can't have. That's just mean. To me.

Lunches are quickly regressing too. Gone are the deluxe sandwiches cut out with cookie cutters into the shape of, oh, rabbits, George Washington & Abraham Lincoln (for President's Day...it was awesome...) or Texas. Now there are just square slabs of PB&J. Unpeeled oranges. Saltine crackers. My kids, who are such foodies and would happily take a lunch of brie and baguettes and grapes with a rough cut of dark chocolate for dessert, are now saying, "Nah, it's OK mom. I'll just buy the hummus biteable at school for lunch today." And then sloffing out of the room like they have lead fins attached to their feet.

And, hummus biteable? I'm sorry, school lunch ladies, but that just sounds foul. It reminds me of those "Crustables" -- those frozen PB&J sandwich like things in a pastry...but rather when you bite into the encasing -- could be anything -- you get a blob of preservative laden hummus sqooshed into your mouth. Ugh.

So, Day 8. It's already time for a re-vamping.

Cowboy up, Kate. You are totally hard core about Lent. [talking to self like a Marine] WHAT ARE YOU SOME LITTLE GIRL YOU GET OUT THERE AND KICK LENT'S ASS BEFORE I HAVE TO SHOW UP AND TELL YOU HOW TO GET THIS DONE!!

So, to the open bottle of Prosecco in the fridge, and the open bottle of Pinot Noir on the bar, and the easily openable T-Box in the pantry? Bring it on. I'm like Rocky over here.

Too bad the wine is the Russian dude with the hair.

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