Friday, February 26, 2010

Top Ten Absurd Observations from Kate & Lydia's Broken Brains

10. Why does University of Phoenix ON LINE advertise that is has small class sizes?

9. I'm pretty sure that Dave and Buster's is the adult version of Chuck E Cheese and that is why I hate it as much as Kate hates my clogs.

8. Why is it that when I demand the IHPs stop yelling, I'm screaming my fool head off, and when I have to enforce the "we don't hit" rule, I smack someone's hand?

7. Thumbelina loves Lady Gaga but thinks she's saying: "Mama poke her face" and that's awesome.

6. My friend's husband just got back from his five thousandth deployment and everyone was super happy and cried and hugged and kissed and then maybe ten minutes later they made him go to Safeway to get pull-ups. I would feel bad except it's sort of like the third time you're pregnant and your husband is all: "Oh. Mommy threw up in the sink again. OK, I'm going to the gym. See you all in a couple hours."

5. Has anyone else noticed that babies and little kids seem to have some kind of  "my parents might possibly get lucky so I must stop this" radar?  If parents had the same kind of radar about their adolescent kids, no one would ever know the name Levi Johnston.

4. Can you retract a "God Bless"? Because the IHPs do it all the time. McGee: "God Bless Mom and Papa and Daddy and Lefty and Happy and Dog and wait! Not Cat, because he scratched me today." Lefty: "Yeah, not Cat. Maybe tomorrow."

3. Oh my God! After 3 hours and 17 minutes, they actually do get tired of playing Wii. Rather than thinking I'm a terrible mother, think of me as a really good scientist with a - now proven - theory. I'll take my Nobel Prize now. Thanks...

2. Lefty is pretty sure when I get to "three" the planet will explode.

1. Do eating and mindless meandering around my house have to be directly proportional? Are they cattle?

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

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