Thursday, February 11, 2010

Top Ten List #3: What You Don't Want to Hear

Actual Things Kate and Lydia Have Heard That They Never Want To Hear Again:

10. "What's dis in da tub? Oh. It's poop. SORRY!"

9. "Mommy! Hawk took one of Daddy's brown sodas with a man on the label from the special drawer in the fridge and put it in his backpack for Lunch Bunch, but then it broke and now the car smells funny and there's broken glass everywhere."

8. "Do you have a baby in your tummy? Well. It looks like you do."

7. "Mrs. McLovin, your son brought a tampon to school for show and tell and described it to the class as a 'white cannon' and shot the, err.. inside of the tampon out and then tried to re-load it and do it again."

6. "Come quick! I frew up all over my bed!"

5. "Today on the playground, Kaya told me how you got the baby out of your tummy. You have three babies. So you did it THREE times. Gross."

4. "What's that smell, Kate? Oh. No. Gahhhhh!!!! It's me! Get it off! Get it off!"

3. "You know Miss Polly? She told her sister that I'm spoiled, you let yourself go and Daddy works too much."

2. "Is it bad to flush cars down the potty?"

1. "You need to discuss with your child that it is not funny to kick other children 'in the junk'."

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  1. Again laughing to TEARS!!!!

    This is what my son said to me tonight...

    "Mom I pooped and peed everywhere...."

    (Did I mention we were at a dinner party, and he said this in front of everyone!)
    I just. about. Died!

  2. Love these! When my daughter was 3, she was playing with her 4-year-old brother and her 4-year-old cousin who was staying over. At one point, they were going to get their jammies on, and we heard her exclaim, "Zack - why is your penis so small?" I think the boy is scarred for life.

  3. My 3 yr old daughter walked into a room crowded w/ adults, and so excited to tell her story, pointed at me and said, "It's a big old bitch!" She was trying to tell everyone how we had driven over a big BRIDGE.....

  4. Oh....#7, I can totally picture it! Thanks for the laugh...these were hysterical.

  5. Just the other day, my five year old said, "Boy, Daddy sure does have a big wee wee." Cue my husband strutting through the house. :D

  6. My dd said to my husband, "papa, you have poopies?" he of course said no. When she continued to insist, she went over and patted him on the front of the pants and said, "Papa, poopies!" I laughed until I cried!!!!!

  7. Love. These. I almost (emphasis on almost) can't wait for J to find a voice and start spouting out such gems!

  8. LMAO. I love them all! It's so funny reading them but the second it happens...OH NO!!! My daughter is 16 months. We are teaching her english and Spanish. My dad likes to say bad words in spanish and my husband in english....not going to be fun!

  9. My first is 21 months. I shudder in fear. And anticipation. LOL Maybe I should stop saying "douche" about people on tv, random drivers, my husband sometimes.... LOL Look forwad to this every day! TY! Now... if only I can figure out how to comment without being anonymous. LOL Oh! Kate! One day, my Mom was driving a church friend and my nephew was in the back. He goes,"Meemaw. I GOT to tell you somethin! I have to! I saw Daddy getting out of the shower and his penis is SO BIG! IT IS HUGE!!! And..." Cue my Mom talking really loudly, thanking my nephew for his information and asking him to look out the window for a truck, motorcycle, etc. LOL!

  10. P.S. Anyone know how to comment from Face with your profile and make it Not anonymous like a stalker?

  11. OMG! Had #6 from both kids in the same night just a week ago!

  12. The children and I accompanied their daddy, at his request, to a lunch with some of the gang from his office. They proceeded to try an engage my son, 2 1/2 at the time, in conversation. One of the questions they asked was what was his favorite thing to eat at which he replied, "pussy kisses". I think 1/2 the table shot whatever they were drinking out of their noses and the other half laughed so hard they could breathe. After several questions from his mama it was determined he was trying to say Hershey's kisses. I'll never forget that one.

  13. The baby in your tummy comment has been said to me three times by my 5 year old. The last time I actually burst into tears. In an effort to comfort me she put her arms around me and said "It's bc of all the stuff you eat!" I think the wail heard next scared her out of ever saying it again.

  14. Hey gals! Thank you Lydia for popping over to my blog- the bow design actually came from a website: They have lot of great designs that are easy to put on your blog and best of all- they are FREEEEE.

    I absolutely adore your blog and have to tell you I bought the Target wine juice box dealios yesterday. VERY excited. :)

  15. Is it wrong to say I miss that.

  16. My son at 2, thanks to his uncles, in the middle of Walmart : " I LIKE HOOTERS!" top of his lungs.... "me thats nice shhhh" him" NO MOM I REALLLYYY LIKE HOOTERS!" my brother was with me trying not to laugh...

    My son at 3 thanks to daycare : "Mommy that girls weewee is broken off" que me speeding back to daycare to find out why he knows this...

    He is 8 now and it hasn't stopped....




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