9. "Senator Reid is most certainly NOT hairy and he most certainly CAN read. Stop listening to Daddy."
8. "For the last time. Stop feeding your sister dog food. I really don't care if she likes it."
7. (overheard) "Who's that? Oh hello, son. I'm taking a shower. No! STOP! Back away! It's OK - Daddy can wash his own peeper."
6. "What are you eating? Oh dear. Not it's not. We don't have any. That's. Not. Cheese."
5. "Hawk said he loved naughty songs? Oh. Me? Why would I teach him to sing: 'give that big booty a smack'. Don't be crazy - I would NEVER do that."
4. "I'm tired of hearing about how mean she is. Go punch her in the face."
3. "That's an awesome drawing of a DUCK, and very cool TRUCK, but let's think of another rhyming word, because F-U-C-K is really hard to illustrate."
2. "Please take that cookie cutter off your penis."
1. "Why do I have three children? Ummm, because I had 15 minutes to kill? Go tell Daddy that. He'll laugh."
(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010
