Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Adopted? Yes. Really my kid? Even Yesser.
Me: Infertility totally sucks. I remember all of those awful feelings when I was struggling myself. Have you ever considered adoption? It is a wonderful way to add to your family.
Queen Mean: I would NEVER consider something like that. Adopted babies aren’t even like real babies.
Me: Oh, I can guarantee you that my Luigi is every bit as real as Mario and Peach. And so is my love for him.
QM: If you were being honest with yourself, you would admit that you feel differently about him than your “real” kids.
QM: Well, I just mean that an adopted baby isn’t really like having kids….
The conversation kept going along these lines, and…well, you get the point. [Editor's Note: Was the point that you punched her in the head? Or that you Squared Up? Please say YES. - Kate]
I found it hard to believe that someone so desperate to love a baby, could be so ignorant about what family really is. So, just to clarify some things from my unique perspective as a mom with both biological and adopted children :
1. All of my children are, in fact, REAL. I have cleaned enough butts, kissed away enough tears, tickled enough bellies, and wiped enough noses to say with all confidence that all 3 of my children are most definitely REAL.
2. Yes, I love them ALL THE SAME. Let me repeat that. I love them ALL. THE. SAME. I may not have bonded with Luigi in my womb, but I was there the day he was born and can promise you that the amount of love I felt the first time I saw his beautiful little face was the same as when I first saw Mario and Peach.
3. All three of my little monsters, er…children, get the same kind of discipline. And all three get the same kind of affection.
4. Each child comes with his own set of issues, problems, quirks, etc. I have drank many a beer over my “bad days” with Mario, as I have with both Luigi and Peach.
9. Having been through both, I must say that adoption is the best “pregnancy” you will ever have!!! Nothing can boost the ego quite like walking through Target and having someone look at your newborn baby and say, “WOW! You look great for having a week old baby! How did you do it??” Seriously. No better feeling. Not to mention the lack of morning sickness, weight gain, stretch marks, body aches…oh, and that pesky thing called labor and delivery! [Editor's Note: Also, you can go to Five Guys without fear. - Lydia]
Now, I realize that adoption is not for everyone. I just felt the need to clarify a few things on the subject. I was shocked by the reaction of Queen Mean at the retreat. I really did not know that people could still be so ignorant and closed-minded about adoption. Thank you, for the chance to rant!
Uh oh. I hear the LTS’s stirring in their beds. Naptime is over and the countdown to wine-drinkin’ time is on!
Thanks Miss Kitty, for writing this gem for us. And for all you adoptive moms - the next time some old heifer dares to question whether your child is really yours - just close your eyes, take a deep breathe and visualize Kate and Lydia squaring up and kicking that cow in her junk.
xo, K & L
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