I was amazed to read the following advice in the newspaper column of Hints from Heloise...
In our busy world of bringing children to day care, shopping, etc., sometimes a child will fall asleep in a car seat and may be forgotten. In order not to forget a child, a woman should put her purse in the back seat next to the child. So many of us would never forget our purse, and this will be a reminder.
I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on this pressing subject and whether or not you think I should continue to remain childless.
Please keep in mind that when we dispense our sage advice, we suggest things like putting bacon on your husband's face while he sleeps and using refurbished flux capacitors for time travel (to avoid living in a crowded single-wide with your adult children). So, we clearly provide guidance that is logical and realistic. And also awesome.
Anyway, if your potential progeny wander off too far from you - *zap!* Even better, you can use it when they're being obstinate. Not setting the table? Take two steps back and *zappity zap!* If you're feeling particularly Samantha Steven-ish, you can make wavy fingers while you jolt 'em so they think you have magic powers. Point is, they'll follow you around like you're Justin Bieber. After a while, they'll be so trained to keep you within, oh, say 10 feet or so, you'll never have to worry about forgetting them. Because they won't forget you. Ever.
But, that's not all. Because Lydia lives in mortal fear of losing one of her children somewhere, she suggests giving them the zapper when they are being supervised by someone who may be a little distracted (teenage babysitter, Daddy with Blackberry, Mommy without requisite 6 cups of coffee). Imagine you are at the playground and busy reading a really funny blog on your phone and sort of tuning out your kids who were very nicely playing the last time you glanced up... and then *zap!* and you
"Mommy. I asked you four times to please push me on the swings and it was like you didn't even hear me. How many times should I have to say it?"
Sometimes it's important to do whatever it takes to keep your family safe, even if that includes taking a little zap for the team. And, after all, isn't that what being a mom is all about?
xo Kate & Lydia
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