Wednesday, May 5, 2010

It's Time to Wean Her and I'm a Wiener

My friend Kate and I were having a really lovely time at the park the other day. The baby was wearing a sweet little pink outfit and was walking her adorable little drunken toddler walk and her precious curls were blowing in the breeze. We talked about how big she was getting and how she wasn’t really a baby anymore. Kate sighed and said: “It’s moments like these when you want another one, huh?”

I raised one eyebrow and said: “Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how much my tits hurt?”

That statement is not as whacktacular is it may seem. In two weeks, she’ll be 18 months old and I am still nursing her. I’m trying to wean her but truthfully, it’s not going well. She is very strong-willed and very cute. She is also the youngest of three who gets her favorite thing -- my undivided attention -- when she is nursing. So she is not ready to stop. And maybe, on some level, neither am I. Then I consider the fact that I average 4-5 hours of sleep per night in increments of 2 hours and I think “HELL to the NAH, I am done done done-itty DONE.”

Let’s pause for a moment because at this point many of you are probably in one of two camps:
Camp 1: The World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for two years. You need to keep going, Lydia – for her sake…
Camp 2: Hey Crazy, why not keep nursing her until she starts school? Because that’s not gross and weird!

Let me tell you a quick story about why I am in neither Camp 1 or 2. One of my best friends tried for two months to breastfeed and it was a disaster – mastitis, baby not gaining weight and crying all the time, guilt, feelings of failure – a total nightmare of pain and suffering. She felt terrible about it then and even now, five years later, still doesn’t like to talk about it. And the worst part is – at the time, she wouldn’t discuss it with me. Why? Because she had taken so much crap from other women about her decision to finally just bottle feed. She felt too fragile to hear that kind of judgment from me, so she just wouldn’t talk about it.

I felt like such a jackhole. She felt like the bad mom? She is so much better at parenting than I will ever be – patient and warm but also really great about setting boundaries and rules. And it comes naturally to her, whereas I have to struggle with all of it. I have to read books and do deep breathing so I won’t lose my schmidt every fifteen minutes. Her kids speak multiple languages and are unfailingly polite and funny. Mine take off their clothes and run around screaming. And that’s at church.

So I decided right then and there that I was never going to judge someone about breastfeeding. Even though I took a lot of crap from people for breastfeeding my kids past one year. I am not some sort of feral, gypsy, she-wolf (not the Shakira kind) who randomly discusses lactation in loud and strident tones with strangers. It’s my business. So don’t judge me and heifer, just leave me alone.

OK – technically YES, I am the heifer in this scenario, but still...

I have breastfed my three kids for a combined total of 48 months. Add to that 30 months of pregnancy (because 40 weeks is NOT nine months people, do the damn math). What do you get? 78 months - or six and a half years (since 2002) - of having my body serve as a food source for my offspring.

Oh dear God. Maybe I am a feral, gypsy she-wolf.  Help. I must wean this baby.

There are several pressing reasons why this must occur as soon as possible.

Reason 1: I need sleep. I need sleep so very, very much. If that little bugger thinks there is any chance at all she might get some boobage in the middle of the night, she will wake up and scream her head off until she gets it. I just can't take it anymore. And truly, she has to learn to be a good sleeper for her sake as well as mine. How can I be so sure that if she stops nursing she’ll sleep better? Because this is not my first rodeo. The other ones both slept through the night only after they had been weaned.

Reason 2: I waited until cold and flu season was over. She has about a thousand teeth already, so she's neither teething nor due to cut more teeth for a little while. She's getting big and kid-like and less babyish all the time. No one is sick and her ears seem just fine. Also, in the past week she has started to nurse wrong. And it hurts like a bastard. It's less like nursing and more like chewing. So, people -- the time is ripe.

Reason 3: Some people claim that nursing helps them lose weight. That is not the case with me. My body holds onto extra weight when I'm breastfeeding. And I get horrific hunger cravings that turn me into the Incredible Hulk about to rip the door off the fridge. I can not express to you how badly I need to lose weight. Every time I look in the mirror, I throw up a little in my mouth. I am starting to look like Jabba the Hut and it's not even funny.

Reason 4: I can not take the random and repeated requests for nursing in public anymore. I have no issue with mommies breast-feeding in public (in fact, rock on, mommas!) as long as those mommas are not me. And Mini-mini-me can sort of talk. More precisely, the kid can make herself understood. Grabbing at my shirt and piteously crying "Momma! Nuse!" while smacking her lips sends a pretty unambiguous message. I refuse to do it this summer at the pool in front of throngs of scantily-clad teenagers who could be potential baby-sitters but are instead nauseated to the point of vomiting at the sight of my exposed mid-section as I fight the baby to stop her from showing my boobs to the entire pool.

Reason 5: No discussion of breastfeeding and weaning would be complete without a mention of the actual apparatus. I am so ready for my boobies to go from three squares a day to second base. I know they will look horrendous but I don’t care. I want them back. I want them to revert to a regular size (that does not change every few hours) so that I can reward myself with a couple of killer bras.

You see there is an old-fashioned lingerie store one town over, complete with old ladies sporting tape measures around their necks feeling you up in public and then charging you $50 for a bra. But the bras… They have, like German engineering. They can make even my deflated Hindenburgs look nice again. So when the baby is weaned, that is how I am going to reward myself – by letting an old lady with a tape measure get to second base and over-charge me for foundation wear. And I can’t freaking wait. My boobs may be used but they are going to be magnificent (!) and gilded and fierce.  Like Xena.

But I need a plan. Because what I’ve been doing so far isn’t working. I have to do this and I have to do it quickly. I've done it twice before and surprisingly, it wasn't hard - the other two sort of weaned themselves and they made it pretty easy. But this kid does not want to stop. And she is going to cry and I hate to make my children cry. Especially her. And she shares a room with her big sister so if she decides to scream all night as I deny her boob-time, I will have not one but two little Madames to contend with the next day. I need to be hard core even though she is so little and sweet.

This is my public pledge: "Starting tomorrow, I will make every effort possible to humanely but expeditiously wean my baby small toddler. I will reclaim my boobs for Mom-kind and then house them in a gravity-defying bra of awesomeness."

Starting tomorrow because I am such a wiener that I don't think I can do it tonight. I'm too tired to fight this battle. But tomorrow? Even yesser. It's going to be ON like Donkey Kong, little baby. These jugs are going to belong to me again and in the very near future, I'm going to put on my big girl pants and not give in and I'm going to be done.

(in tiny mouse voice) Wish me luck. It's going to suck. Or not suck as the case may be.

xo, Lydia

PS: Just a quick note. We've never had a problem with meanness here in MommyLand but breastfeeding gets people all riled up so there is the one rule for commenting on this post: Be nice or take your boobs and go home.


Share Follow MommylandRants on Twitter
 Subscribe in a reader
(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

51 comments:

  1. You're right. People are total postal whack-jobs about breast feeding. A brave post. To each his own, I say.

    Neither of my little piglets ever suckled and it still looks like I carry bags of rocks in my Maidenforms.

    Yo Go Girl.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You mentioned that you may not be ready. I think that is the key. She probably senses that. When I was nearing the end of the nursing years, I really thought I would miss it (the closeness and all), but when it was actually done, I didn't miss it at all. In fact, it was so much better because nursing always made me drowsy, so after weaning there was more energy and more interaction with my little ones. If you keep that in mind, it may make the transistion a little easier for you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOVE it!! Thanks for a good laugh - although maybe it's funny because it hits a little close to home! My littlest just turned one and has 13 teeth that she loves to use in a forceful manner and I hear you about the potential for pretty bras without milk stains...ahhh to dream!

    ReplyDelete
  4. It really helped to keep my toddler so busy and distracted for a few days that she would forget to ask, and when she did remember, I just would tell her, "Not right now we are doing (insert fun activity here)...

    ReplyDelete
  5. This was me as of last week! My third, who is 13 months, would not stop nursing and she refused to drink out of a cup. I had to take some medicine for five days starting on Friday and the dr. said that now was as good a time as any to quit. She was nursing twice a day, but I stopped.

    It was really hard and she cries and grabs at my shirt constantly! It drives me insane, but she's doing better than I thought!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hehe...Good laugh to start the day (laughing more in the OMG I totally understand what she's talking about way...our #3 is 18 months). I like to think of myself as being in Camp 3 - Just encourage mommas to nurse as long as they feel comfortable and not to give up to easily at first (though I'm totally with your friend and understand that...with my son I stopped at 6 months because he thought I was a chew toy and was drawing blood and laughing). Good luck! I found feeding mine cereal or something that digests slower right before bedtime gave me a little more sleep. If all else fails...earplugs! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I totally feel your pain as my sixth kid (and last baby) will be two this summer and does everything your sweet baby does including the "Nuse mama, peas", which kills me. I've tried a couple of times only to give in when she's sick so you are awesome smart. I'm doing this with you! One thought is to get your man on board because if he can take her when she's detoxing, she can't nurse. My others weren't like this either. After I weaned my last one, I offered her a chance to nurse two weeks afterwards, and she Maude faced me!

    ReplyDelete
  8. You go Mama! It's always nice to hear from other moms nursing toddlers. I always knew I wanted to breastfeed, but if you'd have told me I'd be nursing a 31 month old, I might have totally lost my schmidt before I even started.

    Does it need to be an all or nothing type situation right now? We nightweaned around 15 months it that alone totally saved my sanity. We also curtailed the nursing in public. On my really touched out days, we nurse for the duration of once or twice through the alphabet. And after a particularly malicious bite becuase the baby didn't think she was done - I did lose my schmidt - and now the "milkies" go to bed around 5 pm each night.

    I know the end is in sight for us, but I'm still not sure where that is. I'd like to think it's going to be a mututal decision, but I know I'm helping it along. For right now at least, a few quick session in the AM and at home works for us.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Just when I thought I reclaimed MINE after breastfeeding each of mine for a year basically back to back, my husband staked HIS claim. But I did get a few sexy new bras outta it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find an underwire thats CUTE in s G?!

    ReplyDelete
  10. God, I love the two of you. But of course that could be my sleep deprived stupor talking. I'm on the 4-6 non-consecutive sleep, breastfeeding train too. I'm glad to see it hasn't killed you yet. Maybe I still have hope.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well crap. I'm in the same boat. 18 month old that just for so many reasons needs to stop using me as a food group.
    If I don't get a bfp this month then I'm going to drink some sage tea. I did this with my son and it dried me up in 2 cups of tea. No engorgement. No pain. Just gone. Obviously you can't drink it if you are preggers already as it dries up all secretions.
    Warning: it tastes like crap. It tastes like the inside of my crappy heath food store smells. BLECH. But it works.
    Good luck to you and your parasite...I mean baby! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am so there (strong willed, yet cute 20-month-old addict). Two hour increments (if I'm lucky!) of sleep are really wearing on me. When you figure out the magic secret, please share.

    Additionally...%!@#% 'em. Nobody gets to say anything to anyone about their choices when the choices are said and done.

    The only thing I try to focus on is education (like, how-to's, cause it's not as easy as one would think) and troubleshooting and support (you can do it! need some help?) because I got plenty of that and it made all the difference.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I have to say you toddler-nursers are a better man than I (I nursed mine for about 4 months), so I definitely give you kudos there. But I am confused as to why the little ones are not sleeping through the night (because I am assuming that they also eat regular food too?). Good Luck!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. You can do it. You do NOT want to be visiting her in kindergarten to deliver her snack...from your boobs!!!
    As to the judgement some mother's heap on others, thank you for not being one of them. I tried to breast feed my first. We tried for 2 weeks. Yes, only two. She was a trooper. Sadly, my milk did not come in for 5 days. Then I made such a tiny amount that is was tortuous for her to eat. She was just so hungry. Then when the breast pump (which I had used for one hour to get about 3 millimeters of milk in the bottle and this is in no way hyperbole) tore the skin off my nipple I gave up.
    But, she is healthy. And best of all, I have AMAZING boobies!! (Not rubbing it in. Okay, maybe a little. I mean after two kids I am COVERED in stretch marks so I think I deserve to brag about the boobs that have caused men to go blind when revealed!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds like what happened to me with my daughter. I am currently pregnant with my second, and I want to try again. Just out of curiosity, did you try again with your second?

      Delete
  15. Oh my, another hilarious rant of awesomeness! That was great, thank you. And I can totally relate...I nursed my first boy for 2+ years, but the second was like a wild beast, gnashing his sharp teeth, tearing my shirt off me and clawing me wildly every five seconds. Actual nursing sessions were like WWF bouts. I felt like I should don a Lucha Libre mask before entering the ring.

    Gentle Reader, I weaned him at 18 months. I HAD to, it was just unbearable, and I didn't want to feel that way towards my kid. I won't say that it was easy...at 3.5years old he STILL talks about nursing and how I'd hold him and he'd drink milk when he was a baby. But I did what I had to do. Period.

    It's not like he's deprived. I cuddle and squeeze and kiss him constantly. I'd eat that boy up if I could (hmmm) and I sleep with him and his 6yo big brother every night (which I enjoy, not sure when *that* will end, probably when/if it starts getting weird or if someone enters high school). They do not lack for closeness and affection. I just had to get my boobs back.

    I still haven't gotten the Bra of Awesomeness though, thank you for reminding me. My boobs went from an E cup to a B cup and hang like flat sacks now...I could stand to pretty them up. I'm still wearing the ill-fitting remnants of my pre-pregnancy days, ancient elastic and all. That must stop. Going to look for a place with an old lady with a tape measure who will feel me up now...

    MsLaura
    http://www.theportablebaby.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. Love this blog!!

    If you become desperate with the weaning, you can try what my sister did. She breastfed for like 6 years straight and by the time last kid was almost 2 and still demanding boob, she was done. She but a little (non-toxic) hand soap on her nips and after only about 3 times, he stopped asking to nurse, and that was that! She was like "I have figured out the key to weaning! I'm going to write a book!" But she never did.. so here you go.. soap on the nips.

    Good luck!

    M

    ReplyDelete
  17. Good luck girl! I had one kid that just quit cold turkey and one kid that I had to keep saying...how about some juice? It's tough and we feel like meanies but in the end we get to roll up our boobies in pretty new bras and feel fabulous again!

    ReplyDelete
  18. OMG WHAT IS THIS 18 MONTH CRAP YOU SPEAK OF!?!?! I was all "phew. J is almost 9 months so we're almost done with boobie years" and then you spring 18 months on me? Not cool, Lydia. Not cool!

    Also your post (as usual) made me laugh. :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Aunt Mary approves of the soap on boobies for daytime! Also, Mini mini me really doesn't want to hurt you, so make sure she knows when it hurts you it stops! When she grinds down, that's it, no more at that feeding. Also, you and the MMM can move downstairs for a few nights. Put her in your sister's room and let her rip. I know it is hard to stop the closeness. I had to stop when your cousin was one, and always wished it had gone on longer. The boys went 14 months and 18 months. YOU ARE NOT MEAN to want to stop.
    Love Aunt Mary

    ReplyDelete
  20. Stay strong Lydia! You can do this...think of all the sleep you'll be getting! Wean baby wean!

    You know I find it so bizarre that (some) people drive by a farm or ranch and see a calf nursing on a heifer or a goat feeding her baby and they think it's so adorable. They point it out to their children and talk about how its an example of God or nature or whatever at work, but upon seeing a woman breast feeding her child, draped in blankets mind you, they go all ape-shitty and avert their children's head and walk the other way. I made milk just like a momma cow, horse, goat, dog, cat, lemur, elephant i.e. EVERY mammal on earth...and it was all natural! Maybe even adorable. Ok. Or not. But all natural for sure!

    ReplyDelete
  21. That is ME, ME, ME right now. My son is one today and he still nurses about 75 times in a 24 hr period. We have to accept it as much as we don't want to...we have to go COLD TURKEY! That is the only way. Please do it so I can do it too and have something to laugh with. Because this is going to SUCK! I have not slept in a year. I am so beyond done it isn't funny anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I was like your friend. I could NOT nurse. I had NO milk. I nursed every 5 minutes for two weeks and when my son had lost enough weight so as to concern his pediatrician he made me stop. My milk "dried up" in about 5 seconds with no pain. For some reason I was just not able to produce milk no matter what I tried. I felt just like your friend. I felt like a huge failure, I cried for days.

    Because of my experience I really can't stand to read lactivist posts and the like. Some women just can't do it so for those that can I say they should do it for as long as THEY feel necessary. It's your body and no one else's whether some people want to think so or not.

    Good luck to you!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I was actually devastated when my daughter weaned herself at 10.5 months...but she was ready...anyway...
    I remember reading something somewhere about a woman who put band-aids on her nipples so when her child (obviously old enough to understand an ouchie) saw them, she just told her kid, "sorry, mommy is broken" and that worked for them.
    Good luck!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. First of all you ROCK for making it 18 months!!! :) I just weaned my 10 month old and all I can say is....GOOD LUCK MAMA! LOL He is my 3rd baby too and I did EXACTLY what you are planning to do and outfitted myself w some fierce new bras when I had him weaned.

    Oh and I am totally going to text my friend who is weaning her baby at the moment and tell her she's a "weiner" LOL

    ReplyDelete
  25. My sister-in-law used lemon juice. She had some screwy reasons for weaning (mainly that her husband told her to because he wanted them back) but it did work, nonetheless. However, her daughter had to sleep with Mama's nipple in her fingers for another year so maybe it wasn't the best time after all.

    ReplyDelete
  26. OMG. SO GLAD I am not the only one! My son turned TWO on Saturday. And we are sill nursing at nap and bed. At this point, I feel it's a miracle I cut him down to that! The kid is obsessed. Meanwhile, I feel you, Lydia. It feels so cruel to take it from them when they want it so much and it's the only thing only you can give and the battle is HORRIBLE and, and... If you have any tips, please advise.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Good luck! I'm all for BF (long termer myself), but it's the mother's choice whether to do it and when to stop. Luckily for readers, it's your choice to also be really, really funny about it. Let us know how it goes!

    ReplyDelete
  28. You go girl! I need to find the werewithal to do this myself, and my youngest is 2! The problem is that we're planning #3 soon, and so I'm like 'whatever, the jugs'll be pouring anew in a short while anyway...'

    ReplyDelete
  29. Making daddy get her at night stopped night nursing...that was at 10 months old. It only took 3 days. I was lucky in the other department...she weaned herself at 1 yr..I was sad.
    Your posts are hilarious and crack me up...THANKS!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. I had a preemie daughter and desperately tried to breastfeed/pump for two awful months. I felt so badly when I quit (I quit for about 12 different reasons and life was much better for both of us once I let it go). People told me her immune system was already compromised because of being premature and I was making it worse by not breastfeeding any longer.

    My daughter is 16 months old now and has been sick exactly twice, with colds. She's never had a fever, never had an ear infection, nothing. What does this tell me? Handwashing trumps breastfeeding when it comes to keeping your kids healthy.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Good for you! Your reasons all make total sense, and you've done great. big whoop if it's 18 months instead of 24 or whatever arbitrary line someone wants to draw. My chomp-monster is 19 months now and I'm gearing up my courage to night-wean him, which is essentially weaning b/c he doesn't much in the day. He's my last, so I feel more open to occasional nursing at bedtime. Whatever. I just wanted to pass on a website that might be helpful for you - all three of my kids were crazy intense bfers who were not at ALL willing to stop...I tried weaning #2 cold turkey at 18 months and instead of getting sleep got waking on the same horrible schedule only it would take LONGER, much longer to get him to sleep. A couple of weeks of that and my brains had all drained out and I decided nursing was better b/c faster, went back to it, and he ended up weaning in one night around 2. But other than that misfire, the technique in here got my older kids weaned with only a bad night or two, once they were ready and I really truly was not ambivalent any more: http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

    best of luck to you - you'll have sleep so soon...I'm envious!

    ReplyDelete
  32. My middle child was 2 and a half when I decided enough was enough. We went on vacation for our anniversary and I left her with g-ma and thought, maybe she will get over it on her own. No such luck...5 mins off the plane and she was unbuttoning. So I told her that I 'left the nummies in Mexico', needeless to say she was a but hot about it. But Stuck to my ground. Until nightime came around...then it was on. My husband had to literally take her into a room at the other end of the house and sleep with her. If I so much as went in there to check on her, she would wake up and start screaming, so I didn't check anymore and got the first full nights sleep in 3 years. After about a week of that, she was over it. She would still ask everyknow and then and I would remind her that the well was dry and she got over it...hope it helps. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Yep, it doesn't have to be all or nothing unless you want it to be. Maybe just night-weaning and putting some limits on nursing during the day (like not in public, only for naps, no chewing, whatever works for you) will save your sanity and make the transition less traumatic for both of you. Then when you are ready wean the rest of the way...good luck, mama! :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Been there, and I swear this works. A very experienced mom shared this with me years ago and I thought she was insane but tried it anyway because it needed to happen and I was willing to try anything. A couple days before I was cutting him off, I started the count down and said,"Okay, 2 more days and then you'll only nurse when the bright sunshine is up." EVERYTIME. Then next day the same thing telling him "1 more day..." The next day, "you can nurse, but tonight when it is dark you don't need any more nursing." That night I nursed him, reminded him, and put him to bed. He did wake once (as opposed to the every hour and a half/ 2 hour thing) and Daddy went in and hugged him and told him Mama would be in when the bright sunshine woke up. That was it. Done, done, done. About a week later I did the count down again with daytime nursing and he totally got it (kept one last nursing time and did the countdown to take that away too). I know it sounds so totally whack, but it really did work (and this kid was KING of nursing--he was around Mini-mini me's age). I've used it since then with little sister (not nursing in her case, but another dependant issue)--worked like a charm. Good luck!!

    ReplyDelete
  35. totally reading this post while nursing my 3 year-old. pray for my sanity!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Love it, love it, love it! Too funny, and hits so close to home for every woman who has ever been compared to a cow by the three-year-old sibling of such a nursing baby.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Glad you're still going! My solution (on the sleep front) was to just night wean her. Now (at almost age 2) we're just nurse 3-4 times a day. So much more manageable! And at this age she knows where it IS okay to nurse (grandmas' house) and where it's not okay to nurse (my husband's place of work)Good luck! Those #3's are sneaky little buggers.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Hi, I just finished weaning my 19 month-old who loved loved loved to nurse. I only did it because I am pregnant and didn't want to tandem nurse once the new baby is born in September. I was afraid the weaning wouldn't go well because I was feeling ambivalent about it, but we took advantage of a time when she had a fever (she kind of "resets" then- she started sleeping through the night right after a fever). I decided to go cold turkey because I couldn't imagine denying her at one time and watching her turn purple with frustration, and then cheerfully nursing her three hours later. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Yes, she still asks to nurse (with sign language- when we were in public I'm so glad I had gone with a silent signal!), but it only happened about 3 times a week. It's heartbreaking to deny them, but just keep your eyes on the prize. Distracting her with cow's milk helped a lot, or doing something fun, and sometimes, she just needed to cry about it. I had Daddy put her to bed for naps and bedtime as much as possible for about two weeks, because that was a big trigger for us. We are still (4 weeks later) putting her down together, and it's kind of nice. My only other tip (got this from on-line) is to use cabbage leaves as a cold compress for your breasts. Mine were uncomfortably full-feeling, and this helped a lot. My wonderful husband went shopping for D-cup cabbages just for me! I just refused to go out in public with leaves in my bra. Thanks for sharing your experience (and cracking me up!) And thanks to the other ladies who posted. I found it really hard to find good weaning information when I wanted it, but hey, we're a treasure trove!

    ReplyDelete
  39. What is the store with the killer bras? Please do share!

    PS--loved the post. good luck to you.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I always intended to stop breastfeeding my first child around 12-14 months. I'd heard lots of tales of kids who "weaned themselves." Yeah, not my kid. I managed to get him to "only at home" by the time he was about 18 months, but he nursed to nap and nursed to sleep, waking up at least once or twice a night to nurse. By the time he was almost 2 1/2 [and I was 5 months pregnant] I decided to finally put my foot down. It was one of the hardest things I ever did. I was determined never let my kids cry themselves to sleep, so I had to compromise. I held him while he cried bitterly for "mummy's milk! I want to nurse!" for hours. At least he wasn't crying alone...

    ReplyDelete
  41. I don't know if you know of it, but www.kellymom.com is a great resource and I've seen some recent forum threads on weaning (I'm nowhere near there yet -- nine months old yesterday!)

    Thanks as always for some great gut-splitting writing.

    ReplyDelete
  42. i love this...i'm in the same boat with my 19 month old! i nursed my son for 25 months and then weaned him EASILY when i got pregnant with my daughter...i'm trying to wean my little one but she's so sweet and INSISTENT that i give in after 10 minutes of her incessant crying "MILK! MILK!" with the saddest little face ever! anyway, thank you for posting this and letting me know i'm not alone! also, i'm totally with you on not judging about the feeding thing - most people know i breastfeed and then assume i am going to lay into them if they bottle feed but honestly, why do i care how some one else feeds their baby? none of my business i say!

    :-) thanks for the smiles, as always! good luck to you - sounds like we're in this together!!

    ReplyDelete
  43. 40 weeks is 9 months. Just like 52 weeks is 12 months not 13 (13x4=52).

    Months have 30 or 31 days, not 28. So every month is about 4.5 weeks. 4.5x9 = 40.5 weeks.

    Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I have a 19 month-old, so I know where you're at. And I have a newly 3 year-old. The 3 year-old has been told that 3 is too big for "mem", which she's only been having at bedtime, and too big will be enforced sometime this week (her birthday was yesterday, and I didn't want to ruin her day that way), and the 19 month-old doesn't know it yet, but he's soon to find out that the snack bar is going to be closed at night. This is about the same age I stopped night nursing his sister, because tandem nursing at night, even with co-sleeping, was driving me bats. Daddy cuddled her back to sleep when she woke up for a few nights, and then she was sleeping all night, and just nursing at naptime & bedtime & (back then, but not for the last year, about) first thing in the morning.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I'm filing soap on the nips in the back of my brain. Breastfeeding my toddler has been my most reliable and useful parenting tool. Despite all the issues that come with breastfeeding a 2-year-old who speaks in full sentences, I'm not ready to give up the magic elixir yet. Not until I learn some actual parenting skillz.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I nursed my two for a total of 42 months (that's 3 1/2 years of my life). I really didn't want to give it up with my second because I enjoyed the mommy/baby (or large toddler, if we're being completely honest -- she was two and a couple of months when we finally quit) time. And now my boobs look like used gym socks. I bought the best bra I could find after, but I need one of those special German engineered kind because the girls still really need a lift and I can either feed and clothe my kids and depend on a good bra for support or get a surgical lift. Loved your post, BTW. You totally rock.

    ReplyDelete
  47. My son is only a few weeks away from being two years old and is still nursing. I don't know how I've made it this far. I am ready to wean but have no energy for a battle. Also, my son is allergic to nuts, eggs, wheat, and fish (so far) and I feel like the longer I breastfeed the better the chance he'll outgrow these allergies. Mommas milk is a superfood so I think it might give his immune system the chance to cease allergic attacks. However, due to his allergies, I have also had to stop eating the above listed foods. I miss having eggs in the morning. I dream about taking a bite of a Reese peanut butter cup. To make matters worse, I cry when I think about weaning my son. It has been such a big part of our lives together for the past two years. The way he looks at me as I'm feeding him just makes me melt. I need to just buck up and get it done or I'll go insane.

    ReplyDelete
  48. My three kids weaned themselves at different ages. My first was around 20 months and I was 4 months pregnant. She had suffered through morning sickness with me, and gave up nursing right before I got over it. I'd figured I'd wind up tandem nursing, but this was better for us.

    My second weaned herself at 27 months. Again I was 3 months pregnant. But I think what triggered that was the doctor taking both of us off dairy to see if that helped some ongoing stomach problems she had. Oddly enough, it made no difference with the stomach problems, but totally improved her behavior - she gets hyperactive and aggressive when she gets cow's milk products.

    I figured I'd never manage to wean #3 as I was DONE being pregnant. However, we moved when she was 11 months, and all the excitement distracted her and I took advantage of it. Sometimes I second-guess myself (what parent doesn't?) but it was necessary at the time.

    ReplyDelete
  49. I got so MUCH crap for NOT breastfeeding my daughter (including some from my husband, but I set him in his place real quick, I threatned to square up on him and he shut his damn mouth)It's a personal choice, if you aren't ready you aren't ready, it's your kid and your boobs! Rock on Lydia!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Man, I HATE "helpfull :) " comments...... Awesome post- I'm in the same boat. 12 month old is doing more "chewing" than nursing. Tired of showing my deflated midsection to the world.... but, he's the last one :( and I know I'm holding on to these last few moments, too..... Good luck Mama and Happy Mother's Day

    ReplyDelete

ShareThis

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

What My 9 yr old is reading:

Stuff that Mini Loves

Popular Posts