Also, there’s the problem of the plural. Mothers-in-law? Mother-in-laws? I have no idea. I could google it but it’s late and I’m tired. I leave that to Kate, ‘cause that snitch has had two (see – that’s plural) and she just loooves the mother-in-law she has now. I, on the other hand, have only one. I love her and have a very healthy respect for her and for her privacy, plus there’s also The Fear.
So here’s what we propose to do. You send us your very best mother-in-law anecdotes and we will post them. If your own mother has done something really obnoxious to your husband, that totally counts. We will create the definitive anthology of crazy Mother-in-Law stories and they will all be anonymous – to protect the guilty and avoid Armageddon. Also because I really don’t ever want to hear the song from that movie again. Crap too late, it’s in my brain. I don't want to clooose my eeeyyyes...
We’ll be updating all day and providing a little commentary.
Testimony 1:
My MIL is batshit crazy (and her job is counselling crazy people!). There was the time she had all the grandkids stay with her for a week so they could take grandma and me swimming lessons. My daughter was about 8 at the time and had long hair - hair that wasn't washed or combed during the entire week. It took hours to detangle it when she got home. Hours.
What's your problem? Dreadlocks can be very attractive. Picky, picky, picky...
MIL is a freak about medical things. One of my kids is short, so she tried to convince me that he would have a miserable life short, so we should take him for a procedure where his leg bones will be broken and metal rods would be inserted to hold the bones apart so he'll be taller. It's important to know that she says it's my fault he's short because I don't force him to drink milk, because obviously it has nothing to do with the fact that I married into a family of short people (she's 5' tall). She couldn't explain why people allergic to milk are not uniformly short. My husband said he thought I was going to jump across the table with my butter knife and cut her face off after that accusation.
I'm just saying that if you actually had cut off her face with a butter knife, we would have totally understood and supported you and brought you t-boxes in jail.
Testimony 2: This one was so bad, there's a list...
1. My wedding colors were black, white and silver. She said she would make my centerpieces for my very formal and large wedding. I inquired more and she said she'd get used wine glasses from the Salvation Army or Goodwill stores and decorate them using her glue gun with white and black fake flowers. Then put on some silver glitter. Ummm, no thanks.
Nothing says L-O-V-E like wedding accessories from the Salvation Army. In fact, let's stitch that on a pillow.
2. We had a large wedding. I was asking all family members for their guest list. Her's was very large. After sending out 500 invites and not hearing back from a large number of the people on her list I asked who these people were (hubby didn't know any of them). She replied with, "Oh I didn't think any of them would come. I just wanted them to send you a gift." Ummm...ok.
Klassy!
3. Before the wedding she called one day to ask if people in Springfield (IL, where hubby and I live...she's in Chicago) wear hats. I ask what type of hats. She said she found an amazing hat at an antique store with a 3 foot peacock feather. Ummm, no.
Is the Salvation Army considered an antique store? Just wondering...
4. While waiting for my bridal party to walk down the aisle I was hiding in a side room. She apparently tried to switch my maid of honor with her daughter (also in the wedding) so her daughter would appear to be the maid of honor. Ummm, no.
Did your maid of honor square up? Cause that's one wedding video I would like to see.
Skip to the parenting section of life....
5. She told my 6 month old daughter (while I was sitting right there) that she had a bad mommy because I was feeding her baby food vegetables before her baby food fruits. That dd was 'really missing out on the good stuff because your mommy is so mean to you'. Ummmm, go away.
I see that as an invitation to show her what Mean Mommy does to bad ladies who make her mad.
6. She told my 6 year old daughter (same daughter as above) that she wasn't a real Catholic girl because she's not named after a saint. Oh I was sitting right there. Dd burst into tears screaming "I AM A CATHOLIC GIRL!! I GO TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL!!!!" Then looked at me like a very say puppy and said, "Mommy, is there a Saint A?" And I said, "Not yet sweetie. You will make a wonderful first St. A" MIL rolled her eyes so hard I think I heard it.
I'm saying a Novena right now that some nuns don't read this and then go kick her ass.
7. I'm trying to find the email where she told me what a horrible DIL I am because I wouldn't buy her any of the professional pictures we had taken of the kids. That she would have NEVER done that to her parents. That I am ungrateful and pathetic. For what it's worth, we didn't buy anyone any pictures, not even ourselves yet! We had them taken 9 months ago. Oops.
Take a picture of your bird finger and frame it for her.
Testimony 3:
While I was in labor with my 3rd child I agreed to let my MIL, Mother, and Stepmother all be in the room. The deal was that they all remain at the head of the bed. Did they? Nope. I had a horrible labor. The birthing experience I had looked forward to (my third and final child, felt empowered about, waited for....was bitterly ruined when all 3 decided to get a better look. Not only did they look while my child was crowning, but my MIL took it upon herself to get a peek while I was hemorrhaging after the Ob/gyn ripped (yes- tugged, yanked, jerked) the placenta out. She (MIL) said she looked at my battered, bruised, and gushing blood vagina "To make sure I wasn't dying". I could have...should have...kicked her in the damn head. I am a very private person and although the 'baby' is now 16 months old I am still PISSED about the complete invasion of privacy. Please don't get me wrong, baby was healthy and happy and that's the best outcome that could be asked for...but they, she, looked at my nether regions. Sumnabidge.
I would be all: "You knew you were not allowed to look at my chuckie during delivery. And you stole a look against my will. Now not only do you have to live with the image of my hoohaw at its most disgusting, but I get to kick you in yours every time I see you." That might curtail any future visits.
Testimony 4:
My sister-in-law (married to my husband’s step-brother) and I were at an event with my step-mother-in-law. She was making introductions with some of her friends and said, “This is my daughter-in-law [introducing me]; and this is my REAL daughter-in-law[introducing her son’s wife]” Amazingly, her friends didn’t seem to think it odd that we were introduced that way.
Here's where I would consider an Unfortunate Accident. Like accidently tripping and dropping a large spiral ham on her head.
Testimony 5:
The VERY DAY that I came home from the hospital after having my first son, and after I had had an emergency c-section, my MIL and GMIL came to my home. They were knocking on the door 10 minutes after we had arrived home. Also, to note, I was having breastfeeding problems and my child would take neither my breast OR a bottle. Oh yesser. That's right. So, I was having to attempt to breastfeed, and then give up, and then feed him pumped milk by SYRINGE, and then pump at every feeding. And yah, I had a WHOMPING case of PPD already. So, back to being at my house and I guess I wasn't welcoming enough or SOMETHING? and they got mad at my husband and said, " *H *is making us uncomfortable!" and stormed out of my home. what.EVER.
Okay...this one is REALLY bad. It was Christmas Day and I had JUST lost a 17 week pregnancy 2 weeks prior. I was sad and depressed. So, to cheer me up, when we were discussing my sil ( who wasn't there) and I said that I liked her. My MIL told me that I shouldn't because SIL "said you're the root of all evil" She didn't understand why I got up, went to the bathroom and cried and then told my husband that we were going home. When my husband talked to her about it she said, " I don't know why that would upset her?" What.ever.
Have you tried dropping a house on her and then stealing her red, shiny shoes?
Testimony 6:
I do have a fairly nice MIL, except on one front. Laundry. My husband is from France, so when we go visit, we stay with them. I would obviously do my own laundry. But she would come behind me every time, and adjust everything. As in, re-sort, change the program and sometimes even FOLD the laundry before putting it in the machine! This last time we were there, I figured out I just need to send my daughter in for interference when it's time to put a load in, then it's too late to do anything! We just bought a house, so I'll no longer be staying there and can do laundry in peace.
Seriously? Does she wear a red, velour track suit?
Testimony 7:
My husband and I were visiting all of our families (who live in the same town while we live out of state) on our summer vacation. Earlier in the day, we had told my parents and his dad and stepmom our terrific news about our first pregnancy and there had been happy tears all around. Then we drove to my husband's grandparents house to share the news with his mom's side of the family. (Now please keep in mind that we'd been married 4 years, we were both 27, I'm a teacher and he's an engineer-so we have steady employment, and we own our own home...it's not like we were being irresponsible or impulsive) My husband says, "We have some great news..." and his mother bursts out with ..."You're not pregnant are you?" It was very quiet in the room after that and grandma got up and walked out she was so embarassed her daughter said that aloud. Three years later when we had the same news to announce for baby number 2, via phone she said, "Did you plan this?" Yep, turns out we did! I opted not to hear/remember what she said about baby number 3. Ironically, she was very excited about each baby once she got over her "shock". But, really, who says that about a new baby, especially when it makes you a grandma for the very first time?
She sounds lovely. I think I saw her on Springer last week!
Testimony 8:
My M-I-L(my husband's foster mom, b/c his real mom was a D-bag and abandoned him with his abusive father at 9 yrs old and he hasn't seen her in 19 years), said, "Oh my gosh I can't believe that WHITE baby is yours." Let me explain.
My husband's half Jamaican(dad), half Irish(mom). I am Puerto Rican (aka mutt). We are caramel colored(lol). My daughter is Fair skinned. Yes she mine, yes I pushed that baby out of my hoohah.
If I wasn't drugged up I would have squared up and kicked her in her taco!!! I had to stop my mom from doing what I couldn't.
You need to let your mom do what she has to do. She earned that taco kick...
Testimony 9:
So....My boyfriend(now husband) had been together about 5yrs and we decided to start living together before we got married!! Totally pissed his parents off because they are southern baptist and DO NOT BELIEVE in that sort of thing!! They wont stay with us because they didnt want to be a part of our living arrangement! Whatever..fine!! So my soon to be MIL would come over to do her laundry and would also go through our dirty clothes basket and do all her sons laundry but only leave my thongs in the basket!! I was totally mortified at first but then it just got to be so damn funny!!
Were you all: "WASH MY THONGS, WOMAN!" and if not, why not?
So...A year later we find out we are expecting our first child,out of wedlock, and she sends me this shmitty letter telling me how disappointed she is in me!! WTF...seriously!! I was 31 at the time and their son was 44 at the time!! You would think they would be over the moon to finally be grandparents! ANyway she is still a total bitch ever since I have given her ass 3 grandchildren in 4 yrs!! Oh and btw they still refuse to stay with us!! Which is great.....wooohooo....
I think you should bring them your dirty thongs at their hotel. And then say: "I think you know what you need to do with these."
Testimony 10:
My mother in law is INSANE. Completely insane. When I was pregnant with my son, my mother in law was insistent that we would name our son Mitchell, her maiden name. We didn't want to do that, but she insisted. She was so insistent that she had the bakery write "Welcome Baby Mitchell!" on the cake she ordered for the baby shower she threw for me. Then at the shower, several people commented on how we were naming the baby Mitchell. I gently corrected them, but mother in law kept telling people I was wrong, the baby would be named Mitchell.
One night, a few weeks before my due date, I was at the grocery store and ran into a co-worker of my mother in law's. She's had the same job since my husband was a child, so all the coworkers know my husband and knew we were expecting. This coworker mentioned that she would see us on Friday, "at the shower at the office." I came home and told my husband about it. He called his mom, wondering if we missed something. My mother in law informed my husband that her coworkers were throwing HER a baby shower for OUR baby. We were welcome to come, but that it was going to be a party for her to get the stuff she would need for keeping our baby at her house. We were shocked - who does that? So my husband does some undercover investigation and discovers that the coworkers have planned a lunch with a gift for the baby and mother in law was supposed to tell us. She somehow thought people were buying gifts for her. I told you, insane.
The best though is at the hospital while I was in labor. I was very clear with my husband that I wanted nobody but us in the room. His mom understood that, but she came to the hospital to sit in the waiting room. OF COURSE she didn't sit in the waiting room. She pushed her way into my room and wouldn't leave. Finally I asked the nurse to tell her to go and the nurse kicks her out. I ended up needing a c-section, so mother in law stood in the hallway right outside of the operating room. When they rushed my son from the OR to the NICU, the doors opened and I hear...... wait for it......... Oh look at Mitchell!!!!!! Grandma loves you baby Mitchell!!!!!!! She proceeded to call him Mitchell for the next two weeks. My husband finally told her if she didn't call him by his name, we were cutting off all contact.
I could go on and on :) She's a nutcase, but she loves my kids.
What is it about Mothers-in-Laws that make them think *they* get to choose *your* baby's name? Lady, if I was going to name my baby after you I would have named him Whackjob and that is not a nice name for a sweet, little baby. You need to toddle on back to the Nervous Hospital, put on your white, huggy jacket and go for a nice sleep in your bouncy room. Buh-bye.
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My ex-MIL ended my first marriage. She was certifiable and I learned through the years that she'd broken up my husband's first marriage too. I could share a million stories but it would take all night so I'll just share the worst.
ReplyDeleteMy ex has 4 children, twin boys, a middle boy, and the oldest is a girl. My ex-MIL thought the girl was a replacement for her daughter who tragically died young. Because of this unhealthy attachment she had to the daughter she favored her horribly. When my husband's first marriage broke up the MIL took care of the kids while my husband was at work. Until I came along... By the time I took on the kids they were royally screwed up so we had them in counseling. Come to find out she was abusing the middle boy. I told her she could not have the kids at her house unsupervised anymore. So later that day my then FIL comes over to our house and tells me I have to call the MIL and tell her I made a mistake and how sorry I was because she was going to kill herself if I didn't. I refused to make that phone call and in case you're wondering she's still alive.
LOVE IT
ReplyDeleteOkay so I typed my stories in the comment box and realized it was a little too long....so I e-mailed them :)
ReplyDeleteCrazy stories so far!!!! I love it ;)
My mother, who I no longer speak to, decided years ago she didn't like my boyfriend (now and for the last 17 years, husband). Didn't like his parents, didn't like that he wasn't Christian, didn't like we had kids before we got married, didn't like that we were teens when we met...and so on.
ReplyDeleteThings began coming to a head when our third son arrived as she came to stay for a week. OMG, it was horrid. I felt like I was imposing in my own house. We thought she wanted to help out, instead she wanted rides to the hospital, she wanted to go out and sightsee etc. Oh and when we left the kids with her so I could go have the baby? They showed up filthy, covered in sharpie and hungry. She had them TWO hours. That was almost 11 years ago and I haven't seen her since. It gets worse though.
She went home from that and told my father (and my IL's, who I ADORE) that my DH abuses me. Um, no. We're both super snarky people and natter at each other, but abusive? I'd kick his ever-loving ass before that would happen. So we had to deal with that...THEN soon after...
The weekend of our 10th anniversary fell over Mother's Day. She sent a MD card to me...that was for a Single Mom. On our 10th anniversary. Didn't even acknowledge the anniversary part. When I called her and confronted her about it? She said, and I quote "well I didn't read the inside of the card". Um, wtf? You SIGNED IT, so you had to have opened it. But you didn't read it. Really. And you didn't know it was our 10th anniversary? REALLY?
Then there was when we called them to tell them that we were having kid #4. She replied, "Oh no, what are you going to do about it?". Um, have the kid we planned? I didn't talk to them for over a year that time.
I could go on. LOL My poor hubby finally, three years ago told her to screw off and leave us alone. Well it was way more harsh than that, but that was the gist. Then a few months ago we find that they have "stolen" pictures of the kids (and the newest one that they should have no information about) off my Facebook account etc and posted them on their own website as proud grandparents (which they're not..long story there too) and proud parents. AHHHHHH!!!
So though it's not my MIL story, it IS a CRAZY MIL story from my hubby's POV.
Two stories about my step-MIL:
ReplyDelete1. Hubby and I had been married not even a full year before she started asking us where the babies were. I told her we wanted to be married longer and we wanted to be able to buy a house before having children. She told us we needed to hurry up and have a baby before she got too old to enjoy it. Yeah, lady, because I'm having a baby for YOU.
2. Several years later, precious baby has arrived. My son was 2 at the time and we were visiting my husband's dad and step-mom for the holidays. Son was all ready for bed and I sent him around to tell everyone good night. At that time, step-MIL chose to offer him a cookie. I said "No, he's already brushed his teeth and he's getting settled for bed." She looks at me and says "You can brush his teeth again" and proceeds to hand him the cookie. At that point, I saw red and had to leave the room so my innocent child would not witness any violence. It was just one cookie, but the principal of her totally blowing me off in front of my child still pisses me off to this day.
Mine was entirely too long to post so I emailed it. It's a GRANDMOTHER (and MIL) tale of horror.
ReplyDeletemy MIL is not horrible, she's actually quite sweet. She's just completely useless (and dumb as a rock). I'll give her that we live in a different state, but.... I have 2 boys who are now 9 and 5 and she never changed one diaper or fed them one bite of food, helped with them in any way.
ReplyDeleteBest MIL story - while pregnant with baby #2 I was put on emergency bed rest (history of premature delivery with #1 and I was dilating). DH called the ILs and asked them to come up (2 1/2 hours) to help since we already had a 3 3/4 year old.
They came! DH asked if his mom would stay for the next week by herself to help me out, seeing as how I now had to remain in bed, flat, until I gave birth (I was 28 weeks at the time), his dad had to go back home to care for their daughter's kids who had spring break then (they were like 10 and 7 at the time).
We were hoping she'd stay so she could get my son fed and to preschool 3 mornings a week, right in the neighborhood. And then just generally keep him occupied and happy.
The next morning, they woke up and DH asked if she was staying. Her reply?
"well, I don't really know my way around your town and I don't think I could get up early enough to get my grandson to school on time (9am, around the corner), and I don't really know what I'd make for meals, so no, I'm going to go home with daddy".
ain't she a peach? Thousands of dollars of babysitting later, it really was just fine, but I honestly can't believe someone would refuse to help like that.
[my mom, who was a saint and would've done anything on god's green earth for me and my children, has passed, so this is the only 'mother' figure in our life. and my kids' only grandma. good times]
My MIL is just a bitch...just plain and simple. I'm just going to tell one story because i would need a yr to tell everything haha
ReplyDeleteI got married right before my Senior yr in high school. My husband is in the army and he deployed for part of the yr. The summer after my senior year he got R&R and we got pregnant. He left again and life went on until he emailed me one day asking me if i was stupid...I asked him what he was talking about and he said " my mom said that she say you in a bar with your friends, what were you doing there" First off...i was 18, couldnt get into that bar unless i wanted to pay 20 dollars, Second, I was pregnant and my friends were even younger than me so no way. So that was just one incident of her trying to break up our marriage...finally my husband saw what she was doing and just ignored her. Also this woman gave up her son to her parents so that she could date a guy that had been abusive to my husband and her...she's a real winner.
My MIL, when she met for the first time as the new girlfriend says to my future husband after I had left "She's nice enough. But her breasts are too big."
ReplyDeleteI'm a B. And who SAYS that to their 21 year old
son?!
Also, I called them "Mr. and Mrs. So and So" for 2 years, never getting permission (as a younger adult dating their son) to call them by their first names. Fast forward to the wedding day. In the morning we were still on Mrs. and Mr. but after the vows, during our first extended family picture, she leans over and says to me "It's Mom and Dad now!!"
But I am passing your post onto my new SIL because this same MIL has given her waaaaay more stories than she's given me. I must be the favorite DIL. ;)
The stories are endless, and include all forms of in-laws. It all began when I was about to have my first baby. I told everyone that I didn't want anyone staying at our house except for my mother. I even made my father stay at another relative's house! After being more than a week overdue, I was about to go in to be induced when my husband delivered the news that his dad, stepmom, sister, sister's boyfriend, brother and brothers girlfriend would be arriving from out of state and that they would be staying at our house! Our 1,500 square foot house with 1 bath!!!! So they all arrived just in time to send me off to the hospital. Labor was horrible ended up in an emergency c section after 15 hours. Bloated, in major pain, and crying hysterically (a reaction from the anethesia) I was wheeled into my room to be welcomed by all of them! YEAH! When I got home, I went to crawl into my bed to find a mystery stain. Apparently brother-in-law (16 at the time) and his girlfriend bumped uglies in our room. An adult movie had been ordered from the TV in our basement where my sister in law (19 at the time) and her boyfriend slept. All my poor mother could do was wish me luck, and suggest I take up some serious drinking because I was going to be IN FOR IT! Boy was she right!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy MIL is bi-polar and refuses to take her meds. I confess there are times the family has actually slipped the Prozak into her coffee.
ReplyDeleteHer shenanigans are legend and I actually received sympathy cards from people who new her prior to my wedding.
These are my top 5:
1. She kept telling everyone at the wedding rehearsal she was going to jump off the bridge because her baby was leaving her and wouldn't I be mad when the newspaper headline was about her and not my wedding.
2. We received our wedding present for our first anniversary. A kitchen Aid mixer. She kept it in the closet for a year because she was sure our marriage wouldn't last that long.
3. Our firstborn had colic for 3 months. severe. turns out he was allergic to milk. All the children in my spouses family are. Which the MIL knew. And laughed her evil laugh because she "was waiting for you, Ms. Smarty pants to figure it out, since you know everything." NICE.
4. I have never failed to give the MIL a birthday, christmas, or Mother's day present. The MIL has yet to acknowledge me on any holiday.
5. When my husband had a heart attack in his early 40's she did not come visit her son at all. In fact she yelled at me when I called, "Why are you telling me this. He's young! What will happen to me? People will think I'm old if he dies at this age! What's wrong with you?!"
Indeed.
At Christmas, I was 39 weeks pregnant. I also had a very busy 18 month old. MIL and her hubby were visiting from out of town. My husband happened to have to work on Christmas. Well we had just finishd opening presents and I asked them what they would like for breakfast. She said, "No, don't worry, we'll make it". And I thought, oh how nice....since I was totally pregnant, uncomfortable, and miserable, AND had an 18 month old to take care of (I also couldn't leave her in their care for 5 minutes...I left the room ONCE and my little girl had pulled one of her chairs up to the safetygate and had one leg already thrown over it.....while MIL watched TV, oblivious.). But I digress. Anyways, I hear the sounds of breakfast being made, smell eggs, bacon, toast, etc.....then I hear eating sounds, silverware clanking.....I wait.....nobody says anything. Finally I go up, at the very least thinking that even though they have eaten Christmas breakfast in my home without their granddaughter and I, there would at least be leftovers, but no......they made just enough for the two of them. This was 5 months ago but still makes my blood boil when I think about it!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy MIL wanted her four year old grandaughter to have her ears pierced and we want her to be older. After sending the child home asking for pierced ears because 'Grandma says she will buy me earings' didn't work she asked us (again) and when she was told no, she got angry and said 'well what would you do if you picked her up and found they were pierced?'
ReplyDeleteWhen I met my mil, then-boyfriend told me "No sudden moves." After almost 6 years of crazy, I understand why.
ReplyDeleteWe now live 45 minutes away. She tried to get us to come to get her and take her to the social security office at 8 am on hubby's day off because she didn't have a car. It's 2 blocks from her house but she wanted us to load up our babies and drive 45 minutes to take her.
I should start a blog for my mil stories. It would be a hit.
When my boyfriend (now husband) asked me to marry him, my MIL was so excited, that she started to look for places for the reception and actually set a date on a local church for MY WEDDING without even asking me.
ReplyDeleteI though the date wasn’t that bad, so I kept it. I wanted the reception to be at a beautiful place with a huge garden and fancy stuff, but it was unavailable that day, so my bf and I decided to change the wedding date to a week later… My MIL felt so offended about it, that she told my bf she wasn’t going to be at our wedding and she couldn’t believe that “a nice butt” (referring to me), was more important to him than his own family.
She never got married, so I think –I THINK- she wanted to take control of my wedding because of that. Which is just Nuts. She, of course, came to our wedding but after four years of marriage still can’t forgive me about that terrible thing I did about my wedding date.
My MIL is crazy, but she thinks I am the greatest thing since the invention of electricity. It is my own mother who reminds me every time I see her of what an awful job I am doing and how no matter what happens, my son will turn out just like my delinquent brother because that's how all men are. Can we do a father-in-law day? That's where all my story gems lie...
ReplyDeleteI love my mom.... but.. she makes a terible MIL for my poor husband, and what makes it worse is that I never saw it coming. The fact that she wore white to my wedding (with a veil)and her sobbing for no reason through our gift opening should have been warning enough for us. When baby #1 came along it was important to us that we have 2 weeks with NO visitors-my mom was so upset about this that she refused to speak to me for a month. When they did come their 4day visit turned into a 2 week stay- I remember trying to cook dinner while holding a colicky baby and listening to my dad asking her to help fold some of my laundrey- her response was that she shouldn't have to lift a finger because she was here on vacation. Between dealing with baby and setting the table she told me I should try harder at making myself look more presentable for my husband because he'd regret marrying such a slob. Hubby came home to a burnt supper, crying baby, sobbing wife, and MIL relaxing on the couch. When we told them we were expecting again she was mad that the babies due date didn't fit with her schedule (my parents are retired)and she figured we should have planned it better. My hubby and I have been together for 12 years, and married for 5...I am so blessed with his loving patience to deal with my family. Now my MIL....she is amazing, I never thought that my mom would be the one to make us cringe so much!
ReplyDeleteI knew my MIL before my DH. I would baby sit my friend's baby & she lived next door. I would finally get the baby to sleep, and she would be knocking on the door wanting to see the baby. Even after I said I just got her to sleep, she said I could do it later, and antics like that. Because of her, when she said I HAD to meet her son, I was like...um NO. Well I ended up meeting him and we have been together ever since. DH knows his mom is overbearing, but he feels it is his mom and she & his brother are all he has, so he puts up with a lot. The first time I knew something wasn't right with her, she would call him and if he didn't answer, she'd call me wonder where he was. If he was out with friends after work, I learned after the first time not to tell her, because she would hunt him down, then start an argument with him, then get mad at me for "letting" him go out. Like he needs my permission to do anything. Then when we finally decided to get married and realized a big wedding wasn't for us and opted for a simple wedding with the justice of the peace, she lost it. She told us she would work 2 jobs so we could have the big wedding she always dreamed of. HUH? She planned a bridesmaid shower with everyone from work, that I did not want. We were already living together for 4 years, so we didn't need anything. But she did it anyways. At our wedding she sobbed so loud the whole time, you can't even hear us say our vows on the video my dad took. Then she told me, "Finally, you are the daughter I never had." TOTALLY creeped me out. It was all in the way she said it, not what she said for those of you who think that it was a sweet thing. Then she forced us to have a reception. We did it just so she would leave us alone on it. She would come over and walk right in the house. I told DH that HAD to stop. She used to clean our house when we weren't home and throw out stuff she thought we didn't need any more. She used bleach on everything and I can't handle bleach, it irritates my skin, plus we have a septic tank so bleach is a no no. She would use it any ways. What finally did it for me is when she promised my BIL while he was away in the Army she would keep his dog till he returned, 2 days later she gave it to a guy who abused him & took him to the shelter. We got the dog back, but not after she left me a horrid voice mail. I told DH I was done until she apologized, and that she was his problem. His mom, his time. She apologized 1 year later when she wanted to join us for Thanksgiving, but DH knows to let his mom know when she is getting to be too much. I simply told him, he doesn't have to do stuff with my mom, why should I have to do stuff with his. Deep down, as sad as this seems, I was actually thankfull when I found out due to health reasons that I could not have kids. Those days of babysitting with her next door and things she says, make me realize my poor DH would have had a harder time with the both of us than he does now. She wonders why her other son never wants to come home from the Army.
ReplyDeleteMy MIL is a family doctor, so she had ALOT of (unwanted) advice for me when I was pregnant with my first child. One evening my husband and I were over for dinner and she pulled me aside and asked if I was planning on breastfeeding. I said yes and she told me that that was good, but that I needed to "toughen" up my nipples so they would be ready when the baby comes. I kid you not, she told me to tug and pull on them when I was in the shower. Ummm...no thanks. And please don't ever talk to me about my nipples again.
ReplyDeleteI have to know what the person whose MIL called the baby Mitchell ACTUALLY named the baby!!!! ;)
ReplyDeleteOk...When our first child was 3 months old my husband lost his job (it was months after 9/11 and no one was hiring for fear of an economic collapse) He was out of work for 8 months. My Mother repeatedly called him a loser and encouraged me to divorce him. (My Mother is on husband #5 btw!) We've been happily married for 9yrs and have 4 lovely children haha.
ReplyDeleteAs for my own MIL...she's cool. Except she cannot cook. Her idea of Chicken enchilada's is cheese and cream of chicken soup poured over bland chicken wrapped in flour tortilla's and baked. She doesn't say anything about my parenting or me...in words. She just laughs a bit and say "OOOOOooKAAAAY" with this look on her face that says "I'm really humoring you because you are one WEIRD chick"
Okay Number 10 TOTALLY beats my name story. I didn't have whactastic MIL's...infact my MIL lived in Florida next to Disney, so she was an awesome MIL in that we lived in Michigan next to Detroit.
ReplyDeleteSomehow that all makes perfect sense.
Anyway. My MATERNAL grandparents decided they didn't like what we named our daughter. Sadly there was to be no squaring off of great-grandparents as I had lost my GOOD grandparents the same year we lost our four day old son. But there WOULD have been...I was the favorite.
However, there WAS squaring off with MY parents, when they found out that my grandparents decided to call our daughter whom we named Ripley Honor Elora (all of her grandmother's btw, were honored in her second middle name, including the one who pulled this shit)... Elizabeth.
I have NEVER seen my parents SO. ANGRY. They let them HAVE it in the harshest languages I have ever heard them use with my grandparents. My grandmother's excuse? "Well, Grandpa always gives the grandkids nicknames."
This is true. Nicknames like C2 and Hacksaw. Elizabeth is NOT A NICKNAME. Then they went on to moan about how she would be teased at school for her name.
We gave them something new to wail about when we said we were planning on homeschooling her, so that wouldn't be a problem. (which, we are)
It ended thus: I had a friend who managed a professional embroidery place, you know where they do custom work for work places and teams and stuff. I sent her onsies, and she had one made to say, "My name is Ripley, believe it or not." (We named her after the Alien asskicking Sigorney Weaver character, but the joke still stands) Ripley wore the onsie to visit Great-grandma every time we visited.
And we never heard the name Elizabeth again.
Elora, btw combines the best of Elenore, Lois (the grandmother in question) and Orpha (my husband's grandmother who threatened to haunt anyone who named a child after her), her three great grandmothers. She only had three, as my husband had no idea and still and never will have any idea who his sperm donor is, as the MIL took it to her grave.
The end.
My poor husband married me despite my mother. For that alone, the man deserves a medal. Or a trophy... filled with port.
ReplyDeleteOur wedding colors were a deep green and off-white with gold. My mother insisted that she wanted to sew her own dress to wear. She's notorious for not finishing things that she starts, but I figured she'd either finish it or end up buying something (because while she's crazy, she still wouldn't show up naked). As mother of the bride, she wanted to match the wedding party, so I sent her swatch samples of the fabrics and their colors. Well, she finished her dress. Unfortunately, it was a bright turquoise (seriously, like day-glo). She said after she thought about it, she'd rather stand out from the crowd.
She knows she drives my hubby bug-nuts with her best intentions, but still tries to invite herself to stay with us for three weeks every Christmas. She tries to be sneaky about it, too. She asks if she can come for a week and then gives me the dates for three weeks. "I won't be any trouble, you'll hardly notice I'm there!" Except when I leave the house and come home to find that you've completely re-"organized" everything (I'm not kidding about the everything part) so that none of us can find a damn thing. And stay the huckleberry out of my underwear drawer thank-you-very-much!
When she visited (for a month! - not to sound ungrateful, but two weeks is plenty of time) during the delivery of our first baby, she begged to be allowed in the delivery room to "help". Heck, no! Could she at least come to the hospital? Sure. We left her with one of the cars, a map, my cell phone, drove her back and forth to the hospital a couple of times before the event, and showed her how to use the GPS. My husband called her when labor started getting serious. Three hours later, I'm about to pop a kid out and I'm on the phone with my mother (getting nasty looks from the nurses about their "no cell-phones" policy) who has been driving around in my car for 3 hours because she didn't think she needed the map, can't figure out the GPS, and refuses to stop and ask for directions. And is running out of gas. Between contractions, I get her to tell me what she sees and finally figure out that she's about a dozen blocks from our house. She's mad at ME that she won't be there for the "big event".
Mom: So what are you guys up to this summer?
Me: We finally wrangled our holiday time and some money to take a nice family vacation! Just us and the kids, it'll be awesome!
Mom: Great! That sounds wonderful. Hope you have a good time and take lots of pictures.
Me: We will.
(one week later)
Mom: My flight lands at 6:40am the day after yours. Can I get a ride from the airport?
Me: Um, whuck?
Mom: I re-arranged my ENTIRE LIFE to do you this favor and hope you'll appreciate how wonderful it will be to have me there!
(okay, so maybe I re-interpreted her last comment a little)
I'm stopping now before I start a book...
My ex-MIL is quite a woman. There are a ton of stories I could tell about her, but I will tell the "hotdog" story.
ReplyDeleteIt was a nice summer day and we had spent the morning in the pool. MIL and FIL decide we all needed to go back to their place and MIL would grill some steaks and hotdogs and we would all have a nice lunch together. I fixed the kids (DS was 3 and DD was 4) plates and gave them each a hotdog and some veggies. DS ate his hotdog, but refused to eat his veggies and declared that he wanted another hotdog. I refused and told him that after he ate his veggies he could have a second hotdog if he was still hungry. MIL (btw, she's and ex-MIL now, but that is a different and long story.) asked H to take the kids outside so she could "have a word with" me. She proceeded to tell me that DS needed the second hotdog and I was going to stunt his brain growth and development because I wouldn't let him have it. I was so shocked that I could barely argue with her. To this day I think back and question if she really just told me my son was going to turn out stupid because I would rather he eat his veggies instead of a hotdog.
If she was allowed contact with either of my children now, she would be eating her words, though I would suggest she have two hotdogs instead. :)
@ #8 - my friend S is half Thai and half Irish. Her oldest daughter's father is Filipino. Her husband, which whom she has 3 kids is a blue-eyed blond. Her oldest has very dark features and hair, her second oldest has olive skin, light hair and hazel eyes. Her third has pale skin, blue eyes and blond hair. Her youngest has black hair, green eyes and olive skin. She took one look at their first Christmas card photo together and said, "We look like a Benneton ad!"
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting! I thought I was living this hell by myself. My mil wreck the trip to pick my son from boot camp with her controlling ways. In summer the town were we live was selling bricks were you could put names on it for the service. When GIL asked if she was buying one for my son. MIL said no he not family he just a step grandson, in front of me. Now step grandson home on leave, she wants be here every day with us! Bosses us around, she says nasty stuff when son not around. So when I go batshit crazy on her, I look bad. After fourteen years, I could write a book on how horrible this horses ass been.
ReplyDeletemy MIL is a completely insane. She doesn't want to know technology. She doesn't allow me to use vacuum cleaner & expect me to sweep the floor. She doesn't allow me to use the washing machine & expect me to wash every week my laundry and my husband's by hands - even in the freaking winter!
ReplyDeleteShe's living with us-I know, I didn't know when I got married to my husband, I wasn't only signing for the marriage itself but signing to live in the house of hell. She would leave notes everywhere and points at my mistake and wrote that I should try to learn to be smarter (it gets worse every year, it gets nasty & horrible). She'd make sure I see the notes, even she put notes in my wardrobe how to fold my husband's jeans. I am not allowed to use the sink tub to wash dirty laundry (all laundry must be dirty otherwise you won't need to wash them!), not allowed to take them to laundromat either. I got a very shitty text mssg on my mobile when I took them to a laundromat. She said that I am the filthiest woman she knows, taking laundry to the laundromat, it's a place with millions of germs.
We can't go anywhere just 2 of us because she will go with, even if it was only going to the shop around the corner! We didn't have our honeymoon because she doesn't want to be left alone in the house. We can't go for holiday together because someone has to be at home (but not her). Sounds like she should be the one having the honeymoon with my husband & I'm guarding the house. Crazy bitch. I plunged her tooth brush into her cat litter tray, use it to clean the toilet, rubbish bin & put it back. There you go you clean,control-freak woman, you can die now.
My MIL turned crazy once we had our first child.
ReplyDeleteShe tried to heat my stored breast milk on the stove. Not even in a pot of water...straight put the bottle on the burner.
She doesn't seem to understand or like breastfeeding. She was so persistent about me pumping it made me want to squirt milk in her face. There are other ways to bond with your grandson other than feeding him my bodily fluids.
We tell her not to do something and she does it anyway. Like putting juice in a bottle, changing our child into hideous clothing while we are gone, or giving him solid foods when he wasn't on them.
Her dog attacked him in the face. That wasn't bad enough. He was attacked again, twice, while she watched him a second time.
She constantly gives unwanted advice and tends to do everything opposite out of spite.
Every time she visits we are inconvenienced with a massive trip to Wal-Mart. It has never failed that we don't have something as simple as mustard or a bar of soap. These trips are a minimum of 4 hours.
She also has a problem or addiction with fast food restaurants but tries to give me healthy food weight loss advice.
I can't trust her to drive my vehicle when in town because she is such a horrible driver. Her driving record is proof enough. She seems to always want to drive or go somewhere and it's a major battle.
Over the years she has become a radical Christian and not only sends us cheesy DVD's but sends my husbands co workers copies of the bible as well. It's just rude.
She needs to differentiate being a mom verses being a grandma. I'd say that's the problem with a lot of mother in laws. Do they not realize that by acting crazy and constantly crossing the line is pushing what they want away? It would be so much easier to get along. So why not swallow some pride, or whatever it is, and give some respect. Maybe then you'll be given a better grandmother role in return.