Friday, May 21, 2010

The Most Whacktastic Mother-In-Law Stories Ever

We’ve had a lot of people ask us to write a post about the seemingly innocent topic of the Mother-in-Law. Seriously, people? Are you kidding? Do you want to start a war? I personally would like to stay married and also not incite the wrath of a woman who reduced one of the groomsman at our wedding to tears with a look. She made a grown man cry just with her eyes. So you see my dilemma.

Also, there’s the problem of the plural. Mothers-in-law? Mother-in-laws? I have no idea. I could google it but it’s late and I’m tired. I leave that to Kate, ‘cause that snitch has had two (see – that’s plural) and she just loooves the mother-in-law she has now. I, on the other hand, have only one. I love her and have a very healthy respect for her and for her privacy, plus there’s also The Fear.

So here’s what we propose to do. You send us your very best mother-in-law anecdotes and we will post them. If your own mother has done something really obnoxious to your husband, that totally counts.  We will create the definitive anthology of crazy Mother-in-Law stories and they will all be anonymous – to protect the guilty and avoid Armageddon. Also because I really don’t ever want to hear the song from that movie again. Crap too late, it’s in my brain. I don't want to clooose my eeeyyyes...

We first put out the call a few days ago and you all brought the bitter. Thank you.  If you have a great story that is more than a paragraph or two, email it to us at: Lydia.and.Kate@rantsfrommommyland.com. Otherwise leave a comment here or on Facebook. We can’t wait to read them all and maybe even crown a winner of the Most Whacktastic Mother-in-Law Story.

We’ll be updating all day and providing a little commentary.

Testimony 1:
My MIL is batshit crazy (and her job is counselling crazy people!). There was the time she had all the grandkids stay with her for a week so they could take grandma and me swimming lessons. My daughter was about 8 at the time and had long hair - hair that wasn't washed or combed during the entire week. It took hours to detangle it when she got home. Hours.

What's your problem?  Dreadlocks can be very attractive.  Picky, picky, picky...

MIL is a freak about medical things. One of my kids is short, so she tried to convince me that he would have a miserable life short, so we should take him for a procedure where his leg bones will be broken and metal rods would be inserted to hold the bones apart so he'll be taller. It's important to know that she says it's my fault he's short because I don't force him to drink milk, because obviously it has nothing to do with the fact that I married into a family of short people (she's 5' tall). She couldn't explain why people allergic to milk are not uniformly short. My husband said he thought I was going to jump across the table with my butter knife and cut her face off after that accusation.

I'm just saying that if you actually had cut off her face with a butter knife, we would have totally understood and supported you and brought you t-boxes in jail. 

Testimony 2: This one was so bad, there's a list...
1. My wedding colors were black, white and silver. She said she would make my centerpieces for my very formal and large wedding. I inquired more and she said she'd get used wine glasses from the Salvation Army or Goodwill stores and decorate them using her glue gun with white and black fake flowers. Then put on some silver glitter. Ummm, no thanks.

Nothing says L-O-V-E like wedding accessories from the Salvation Army.  In fact, let's stitch that on a pillow.
2. We had a large wedding. I was asking all family members for their guest list. Her's was very large. After sending out 500 invites and not hearing back from a large number of the people on her list I asked who these people were (hubby didn't know any of them). She replied with, "Oh I didn't think any of them would come. I just wanted them to send you a gift." Ummm...ok.

Klassy!
3. Before the wedding she called one day to ask if people in Springfield (IL, where hubby and I live...she's in Chicago) wear hats. I ask what type of hats. She said she found an amazing hat at an antique store with a 3 foot peacock feather. Ummm, no.

Is the Salvation Army considered an antique store?  Just wondering...

4. While waiting for my bridal party to walk down the aisle I was hiding in a side room. She apparently tried to switch my maid of honor with her daughter (also in the wedding) so her daughter would appear to be the maid of honor. Ummm, no.

Did your maid of honor square up? Cause that's one wedding video I would like to see.

Skip to the parenting section of life....
5. She told my 6 month old daughter (while I was sitting right there) that she had a bad mommy because I was feeding her baby food vegetables before her baby food fruits. That dd was 'really missing out on the good stuff because your mommy is so mean to you'. Ummmm, go away.

I see that as an invitation to show her what Mean Mommy does to bad ladies who make her mad.
6. She told my 6 year old daughter (same daughter as above) that she wasn't a real Catholic girl because she's not named after a saint. Oh I was sitting right there. Dd burst into tears screaming "I AM A CATHOLIC GIRL!! I GO TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL!!!!" Then looked at me like a very say puppy and said, "Mommy, is there a Saint A?" And I said, "Not yet sweetie. You will make a wonderful first St. A" MIL rolled her eyes so hard I think I heard it.

I'm saying a Novena right now that some nuns don't read this and then go kick her ass.

7. I'm trying to find the email where she told me what a horrible DIL I am because I wouldn't buy her any of the professional pictures we had taken of the kids. That she would have NEVER done that to her parents. That I am ungrateful and pathetic. For what it's worth, we didn't buy anyone any pictures, not even ourselves yet! We had them taken 9 months ago. Oops.

Take a picture of your bird finger and frame it for her.

Testimony 3:
While I was in labor with my 3rd child I agreed to let my MIL, Mother, and Stepmother all be in the room. The deal was that they all remain at the head of the bed. Did they? Nope. I had a horrible labor. The birthing experience I had looked forward to (my third and final child, felt empowered about, waited for....was bitterly ruined when all 3 decided to get a better look. Not only did they look while my child was crowning, but my MIL took it upon herself to get a peek while I was hemorrhaging after the Ob/gyn ripped (yes- tugged, yanked, jerked) the placenta out. She (MIL) said she looked at my battered, bruised, and gushing blood vagina "To make sure I wasn't dying". I could have...should have...kicked her in the damn head. I am a very private person and although the 'baby' is now 16 months old I am still PISSED about the complete invasion of privacy. Please don't get me wrong, baby was healthy and happy and that's the best outcome that could be asked for...but they, she, looked at my nether regions. Sumnabidge.

I would be all: "You knew you were not allowed to look at my chuckie during delivery.  And you stole a look against my will.  Now not only do you have to live with the image of my hoohaw at its most disgusting, but I get to kick you in yours every time I see you."  That might curtail any future visits.
Testimony 4:
My sister-in-law (married to my husband’s step-brother) and I were at an event with my step-mother-in-law. She was making introductions with some of her friends and said, “This is my daughter-in-law [introducing me]; and this is my REAL daughter-in-law[introducing her son’s wife]” Amazingly, her friends didn’t seem to think it odd that we were introduced that way.

Here's where I would consider an Unfortunate Accident.  Like accidently tripping and dropping a large spiral ham on her head.
Testimony 5:
The VERY DAY that I came home from the hospital after having my first son, and after I had had an emergency c-section, my MIL and GMIL came to my home. They were knocking on the door 10 minutes after we had arrived home. Also, to note, I was having breastfeeding problems and my child would take neither my breast OR a bottle. Oh yesser. That's right. So, I was having to attempt to breastfeed, and then give up, and then feed him pumped milk by SYRINGE, and then pump at every feeding. And yah, I had a WHOMPING case of PPD already. So, back to being at my house and I guess I wasn't welcoming enough or SOMETHING? and they got mad at my husband and said, " *H *is making us uncomfortable!" and stormed out of my home. what.EVER.

Okay...this one is REALLY bad. It was Christmas Day and I had JUST lost a 17 week pregnancy 2 weeks prior. I was sad and depressed. So, to cheer me up, when we were discussing my sil ( who wasn't there) and I said that I liked her. My MIL told me that I shouldn't because SIL "said you're the root of all evil" She didn't understand why I got up, went to the bathroom and cried and then told my husband that we were going home. When my husband talked to her about it she said, " I don't know why that would upset her?" What.ever.

Have you tried dropping a house on her and then stealing her red, shiny shoes?
Testimony 6:
I do have a fairly nice MIL, except on one front. Laundry. My husband is from France, so when we go visit, we stay with them. I would obviously do my own laundry. But she would come behind me every time, and adjust everything. As in, re-sort, change the program and sometimes even FOLD the laundry before putting it in the machine! This last time we were there, I figured out I just need to send my daughter in for interference when it's time to put a load in, then it's too late to do anything! We just bought a house, so I'll no longer be staying there and can do laundry in peace.

Seriously?  Does she wear a red, velour track suit? 
Testimony 7:
My husband and I were visiting all of our families (who live in the same town while we live out of state) on our summer vacation. Earlier in the day, we had told my parents and his dad and stepmom our terrific news about our first pregnancy and there had been happy tears all around. Then we drove to my husband's grandparents house to share the news with his mom's side of the family. (Now please keep in mind that we'd been married 4 years, we were both 27, I'm a teacher and he's an engineer-so we have steady employment, and we own our own home...it's not like we were being irresponsible or impulsive) My husband says, "We have some great news..." and his mother bursts out with ..."You're not pregnant are you?" It was very quiet in the room after that and grandma got up and walked out she was so embarassed her daughter said that aloud. Three years later when we had the same news to announce for baby number 2, via phone she said, "Did you plan this?" Yep, turns out we did! I opted not to hear/remember what she said about baby number 3. Ironically, she was very excited about each baby once she got over her "shock". But, really, who says that about a new baby, especially when it makes you a grandma for the very first time?

She sounds lovely.  I think I saw her on Springer last week!
Testimony 8:
My M-I-L(my husband's foster mom, b/c his real mom was a D-bag and abandoned him with his abusive father at 9 yrs old and he hasn't seen her in 19 years), said, "Oh my gosh I can't believe that WHITE baby is yours." Let me explain.

My husband's half Jamaican(dad), half Irish(mom). I am Puerto Rican (aka mutt). We are caramel colored(lol). My daughter is Fair skinned. Yes she mine, yes I pushed that baby out of my hoohah.

If I wasn't drugged up I would have squared up and kicked her in her taco!!! I had to stop my mom from doing what I couldn't.

You need to let your mom do what she has to do.  She earned that taco kick...

Testimony 9:
So....My boyfriend(now husband) had been together about 5yrs and we decided to start living together before we got married!! Totally pissed his parents off because they are southern baptist and DO NOT BELIEVE in that sort of thing!! They wont stay with us because they didnt want to be a part of our living arrangement! Whatever..fine!! So my soon to be MIL would come over to do her laundry and would also go through our dirty clothes basket and do all her sons laundry but only leave my thongs in the basket!! I was totally mortified at first but then it just got to be so damn funny!!

Were you all: "WASH MY THONGS, WOMAN!" and if not, why not?

So...A year later we find out we are expecting our first child,out of wedlock, and she sends me this shmitty letter telling me how disappointed she is in me!! WTF...seriously!! I was 31 at the time and their son was 44 at the time!! You would think they would be over the moon to finally be grandparents! ANyway she is still a total bitch ever since I have given her ass 3 grandchildren in 4 yrs!! Oh and btw they still refuse to stay with us!! Which is great.....wooohooo....

I think you should bring them your dirty thongs at their hotel.  And then say: "I think you know what you need to do with these."
Testimony 10:
My mother in law is INSANE. Completely insane.  When I was pregnant with my son, my mother in law was insistent that we would name our son Mitchell, her maiden name. We didn't want to do that, but she insisted. She was so insistent that she had the bakery write "Welcome Baby Mitchell!" on the cake she ordered for the baby shower she threw for me. Then at the shower, several people commented on how we were naming the baby Mitchell. I gently corrected them, but mother in law kept telling people I was wrong, the baby would be named Mitchell.

One night, a few weeks before my due date, I was at the grocery store and ran into a co-worker of my mother in law's. She's had the same job since my husband was a child, so all the coworkers know my husband and knew we were expecting. This coworker mentioned that she would see us on Friday, "at the shower at the office." I came home and told my husband about it. He called his mom, wondering if we missed something. My mother in law informed my husband that her coworkers were throwing HER a baby shower for OUR baby. We were welcome to come, but that it was going to be a party for her to get the stuff she would need for keeping our baby at her house. We were shocked - who does that? So my husband does some undercover investigation and discovers that the coworkers have planned a lunch with a gift for the baby and mother in law was supposed to tell us. She somehow thought people were buying gifts for her. I told you, insane.

The best though is at the hospital while I was in labor. I was very clear with my husband that I wanted nobody but us in the room. His mom understood that, but she came to the hospital to sit in the waiting room. OF COURSE she didn't sit in the waiting room. She pushed her way into my room and wouldn't leave. Finally I asked the nurse to tell her to go and the nurse kicks her out. I ended up needing a c-section, so mother in law stood in the hallway right outside of the operating room. When they rushed my son from the OR to the NICU, the doors opened and I hear...... wait for it......... Oh look at Mitchell!!!!!! Grandma loves you baby Mitchell!!!!!!! She proceeded to call him Mitchell for the next two weeks. My husband finally told her if she didn't call him by his name, we were cutting off all contact.

I could go on and on :) She's a nutcase, but she loves my kids.

What is it about Mothers-in-Laws that make them think *they* get to choose *your* baby's name?  Lady, if I was going to name my baby after you I would have named him Whackjob and that is not a nice name for a sweet, little baby.  You need to toddle on back to the Nervous Hospital, put on your white, huggy jacket and go for a nice sleep in your bouncy room.  Buh-bye.
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61 comments:

  1. My ex-MIL ended my first marriage. She was certifiable and I learned through the years that she'd broken up my husband's first marriage too. I could share a million stories but it would take all night so I'll just share the worst.

    My ex has 4 children, twin boys, a middle boy, and the oldest is a girl. My ex-MIL thought the girl was a replacement for her daughter who tragically died young. Because of this unhealthy attachment she had to the daughter she favored her horribly. When my husband's first marriage broke up the MIL took care of the kids while my husband was at work. Until I came along... By the time I took on the kids they were royally screwed up so we had them in counseling. Come to find out she was abusing the middle boy. I told her she could not have the kids at her house unsupervised anymore. So later that day my then FIL comes over to our house and tells me I have to call the MIL and tell her I made a mistake and how sorry I was because she was going to kill herself if I didn't. I refused to make that phone call and in case you're wondering she's still alive.

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  2. Okay so I typed my stories in the comment box and realized it was a little too long....so I e-mailed them :)

    Crazy stories so far!!!! I love it ;)

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  3. My mother, who I no longer speak to, decided years ago she didn't like my boyfriend (now and for the last 17 years, husband). Didn't like his parents, didn't like that he wasn't Christian, didn't like we had kids before we got married, didn't like that we were teens when we met...and so on.

    Things began coming to a head when our third son arrived as she came to stay for a week. OMG, it was horrid. I felt like I was imposing in my own house. We thought she wanted to help out, instead she wanted rides to the hospital, she wanted to go out and sightsee etc. Oh and when we left the kids with her so I could go have the baby? They showed up filthy, covered in sharpie and hungry. She had them TWO hours. That was almost 11 years ago and I haven't seen her since. It gets worse though.

    She went home from that and told my father (and my IL's, who I ADORE) that my DH abuses me. Um, no. We're both super snarky people and natter at each other, but abusive? I'd kick his ever-loving ass before that would happen. So we had to deal with that...THEN soon after...

    The weekend of our 10th anniversary fell over Mother's Day. She sent a MD card to me...that was for a Single Mom. On our 10th anniversary. Didn't even acknowledge the anniversary part. When I called her and confronted her about it? She said, and I quote "well I didn't read the inside of the card". Um, wtf? You SIGNED IT, so you had to have opened it. But you didn't read it. Really. And you didn't know it was our 10th anniversary? REALLY?

    Then there was when we called them to tell them that we were having kid #4. She replied, "Oh no, what are you going to do about it?". Um, have the kid we planned? I didn't talk to them for over a year that time.

    I could go on. LOL My poor hubby finally, three years ago told her to screw off and leave us alone. Well it was way more harsh than that, but that was the gist. Then a few months ago we find that they have "stolen" pictures of the kids (and the newest one that they should have no information about) off my Facebook account etc and posted them on their own website as proud grandparents (which they're not..long story there too) and proud parents. AHHHHHH!!!

    So though it's not my MIL story, it IS a CRAZY MIL story from my hubby's POV.

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  4. Two stories about my step-MIL:

    1. Hubby and I had been married not even a full year before she started asking us where the babies were. I told her we wanted to be married longer and we wanted to be able to buy a house before having children. She told us we needed to hurry up and have a baby before she got too old to enjoy it. Yeah, lady, because I'm having a baby for YOU.

    2. Several years later, precious baby has arrived. My son was 2 at the time and we were visiting my husband's dad and step-mom for the holidays. Son was all ready for bed and I sent him around to tell everyone good night. At that time, step-MIL chose to offer him a cookie. I said "No, he's already brushed his teeth and he's getting settled for bed." She looks at me and says "You can brush his teeth again" and proceeds to hand him the cookie. At that point, I saw red and had to leave the room so my innocent child would not witness any violence. It was just one cookie, but the principal of her totally blowing me off in front of my child still pisses me off to this day.

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  5. Mine was entirely too long to post so I emailed it. It's a GRANDMOTHER (and MIL) tale of horror.

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  6. my MIL is not horrible, she's actually quite sweet. She's just completely useless (and dumb as a rock). I'll give her that we live in a different state, but.... I have 2 boys who are now 9 and 5 and she never changed one diaper or fed them one bite of food, helped with them in any way.

    Best MIL story - while pregnant with baby #2 I was put on emergency bed rest (history of premature delivery with #1 and I was dilating). DH called the ILs and asked them to come up (2 1/2 hours) to help since we already had a 3 3/4 year old.

    They came! DH asked if his mom would stay for the next week by herself to help me out, seeing as how I now had to remain in bed, flat, until I gave birth (I was 28 weeks at the time), his dad had to go back home to care for their daughter's kids who had spring break then (they were like 10 and 7 at the time).
    We were hoping she'd stay so she could get my son fed and to preschool 3 mornings a week, right in the neighborhood. And then just generally keep him occupied and happy.

    The next morning, they woke up and DH asked if she was staying. Her reply?
    "well, I don't really know my way around your town and I don't think I could get up early enough to get my grandson to school on time (9am, around the corner), and I don't really know what I'd make for meals, so no, I'm going to go home with daddy".

    ain't she a peach? Thousands of dollars of babysitting later, it really was just fine, but I honestly can't believe someone would refuse to help like that.
    [my mom, who was a saint and would've done anything on god's green earth for me and my children, has passed, so this is the only 'mother' figure in our life. and my kids' only grandma. good times]

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  7. My MIL is just a bitch...just plain and simple. I'm just going to tell one story because i would need a yr to tell everything haha

    I got married right before my Senior yr in high school. My husband is in the army and he deployed for part of the yr. The summer after my senior year he got R&R and we got pregnant. He left again and life went on until he emailed me one day asking me if i was stupid...I asked him what he was talking about and he said " my mom said that she say you in a bar with your friends, what were you doing there" First off...i was 18, couldnt get into that bar unless i wanted to pay 20 dollars, Second, I was pregnant and my friends were even younger than me so no way. So that was just one incident of her trying to break up our marriage...finally my husband saw what she was doing and just ignored her. Also this woman gave up her son to her parents so that she could date a guy that had been abusive to my husband and her...she's a real winner.

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  8. My MIL, when she met for the first time as the new girlfriend says to my future husband after I had left "She's nice enough. But her breasts are too big."

    I'm a B. And who SAYS that to their 21 year old
    son?!

    Also, I called them "Mr. and Mrs. So and So" for 2 years, never getting permission (as a younger adult dating their son) to call them by their first names. Fast forward to the wedding day. In the morning we were still on Mrs. and Mr. but after the vows, during our first extended family picture, she leans over and says to me "It's Mom and Dad now!!"

    But I am passing your post onto my new SIL because this same MIL has given her waaaaay more stories than she's given me. I must be the favorite DIL. ;)

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  9. The stories are endless, and include all forms of in-laws. It all began when I was about to have my first baby. I told everyone that I didn't want anyone staying at our house except for my mother. I even made my father stay at another relative's house! After being more than a week overdue, I was about to go in to be induced when my husband delivered the news that his dad, stepmom, sister, sister's boyfriend, brother and brothers girlfriend would be arriving from out of state and that they would be staying at our house! Our 1,500 square foot house with 1 bath!!!! So they all arrived just in time to send me off to the hospital. Labor was horrible ended up in an emergency c section after 15 hours. Bloated, in major pain, and crying hysterically (a reaction from the anethesia) I was wheeled into my room to be welcomed by all of them! YEAH! When I got home, I went to crawl into my bed to find a mystery stain. Apparently brother-in-law (16 at the time) and his girlfriend bumped uglies in our room. An adult movie had been ordered from the TV in our basement where my sister in law (19 at the time) and her boyfriend slept. All my poor mother could do was wish me luck, and suggest I take up some serious drinking because I was going to be IN FOR IT! Boy was she right!!!!

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  10. My MIL is bi-polar and refuses to take her meds. I confess there are times the family has actually slipped the Prozak into her coffee.
    Her shenanigans are legend and I actually received sympathy cards from people who new her prior to my wedding.
    These are my top 5:
    1. She kept telling everyone at the wedding rehearsal she was going to jump off the bridge because her baby was leaving her and wouldn't I be mad when the newspaper headline was about her and not my wedding.
    2. We received our wedding present for our first anniversary. A kitchen Aid mixer. She kept it in the closet for a year because she was sure our marriage wouldn't last that long.
    3. Our firstborn had colic for 3 months. severe. turns out he was allergic to milk. All the children in my spouses family are. Which the MIL knew. And laughed her evil laugh because she "was waiting for you, Ms. Smarty pants to figure it out, since you know everything." NICE.
    4. I have never failed to give the MIL a birthday, christmas, or Mother's day present. The MIL has yet to acknowledge me on any holiday.
    5. When my husband had a heart attack in his early 40's she did not come visit her son at all. In fact she yelled at me when I called, "Why are you telling me this. He's young! What will happen to me? People will think I'm old if he dies at this age! What's wrong with you?!"
    Indeed.

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  11. At Christmas, I was 39 weeks pregnant. I also had a very busy 18 month old. MIL and her hubby were visiting from out of town. My husband happened to have to work on Christmas. Well we had just finishd opening presents and I asked them what they would like for breakfast. She said, "No, don't worry, we'll make it". And I thought, oh how nice....since I was totally pregnant, uncomfortable, and miserable, AND had an 18 month old to take care of (I also couldn't leave her in their care for 5 minutes...I left the room ONCE and my little girl had pulled one of her chairs up to the safetygate and had one leg already thrown over it.....while MIL watched TV, oblivious.). But I digress. Anyways, I hear the sounds of breakfast being made, smell eggs, bacon, toast, etc.....then I hear eating sounds, silverware clanking.....I wait.....nobody says anything. Finally I go up, at the very least thinking that even though they have eaten Christmas breakfast in my home without their granddaughter and I, there would at least be leftovers, but no......they made just enough for the two of them. This was 5 months ago but still makes my blood boil when I think about it!!!!

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  12. My MIL wanted her four year old grandaughter to have her ears pierced and we want her to be older. After sending the child home asking for pierced ears because 'Grandma says she will buy me earings' didn't work she asked us (again) and when she was told no, she got angry and said 'well what would you do if you picked her up and found they were pierced?'

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  13. When I met my mil, then-boyfriend told me "No sudden moves." After almost 6 years of crazy, I understand why.

    We now live 45 minutes away. She tried to get us to come to get her and take her to the social security office at 8 am on hubby's day off because she didn't have a car. It's 2 blocks from her house but she wanted us to load up our babies and drive 45 minutes to take her.

    I should start a blog for my mil stories. It would be a hit.

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  14. When my boyfriend (now husband) asked me to marry him, my MIL was so excited, that she started to look for places for the reception and actually set a date on a local church for MY WEDDING without even asking me.
    I though the date wasn’t that bad, so I kept it. I wanted the reception to be at a beautiful place with a huge garden and fancy stuff, but it was unavailable that day, so my bf and I decided to change the wedding date to a week later… My MIL felt so offended about it, that she told my bf she wasn’t going to be at our wedding and she couldn’t believe that “a nice butt” (referring to me), was more important to him than his own family.
    She never got married, so I think –I THINK- she wanted to take control of my wedding because of that. Which is just Nuts. She, of course, came to our wedding but after four years of marriage still can’t forgive me about that terrible thing I did about my wedding date.

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  15. My MIL is crazy, but she thinks I am the greatest thing since the invention of electricity. It is my own mother who reminds me every time I see her of what an awful job I am doing and how no matter what happens, my son will turn out just like my delinquent brother because that's how all men are. Can we do a father-in-law day? That's where all my story gems lie...

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  16. I love my mom.... but.. she makes a terible MIL for my poor husband, and what makes it worse is that I never saw it coming. The fact that she wore white to my wedding (with a veil)and her sobbing for no reason through our gift opening should have been warning enough for us. When baby #1 came along it was important to us that we have 2 weeks with NO visitors-my mom was so upset about this that she refused to speak to me for a month. When they did come their 4day visit turned into a 2 week stay- I remember trying to cook dinner while holding a colicky baby and listening to my dad asking her to help fold some of my laundrey- her response was that she shouldn't have to lift a finger because she was here on vacation. Between dealing with baby and setting the table she told me I should try harder at making myself look more presentable for my husband because he'd regret marrying such a slob. Hubby came home to a burnt supper, crying baby, sobbing wife, and MIL relaxing on the couch. When we told them we were expecting again she was mad that the babies due date didn't fit with her schedule (my parents are retired)and she figured we should have planned it better. My hubby and I have been together for 12 years, and married for 5...I am so blessed with his loving patience to deal with my family. Now my MIL....she is amazing, I never thought that my mom would be the one to make us cringe so much!

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  17. I knew my MIL before my DH. I would baby sit my friend's baby & she lived next door. I would finally get the baby to sleep, and she would be knocking on the door wanting to see the baby. Even after I said I just got her to sleep, she said I could do it later, and antics like that. Because of her, when she said I HAD to meet her son, I was like...um NO. Well I ended up meeting him and we have been together ever since. DH knows his mom is overbearing, but he feels it is his mom and she & his brother are all he has, so he puts up with a lot. The first time I knew something wasn't right with her, she would call him and if he didn't answer, she'd call me wonder where he was. If he was out with friends after work, I learned after the first time not to tell her, because she would hunt him down, then start an argument with him, then get mad at me for "letting" him go out. Like he needs my permission to do anything. Then when we finally decided to get married and realized a big wedding wasn't for us and opted for a simple wedding with the justice of the peace, she lost it. She told us she would work 2 jobs so we could have the big wedding she always dreamed of. HUH? She planned a bridesmaid shower with everyone from work, that I did not want. We were already living together for 4 years, so we didn't need anything. But she did it anyways. At our wedding she sobbed so loud the whole time, you can't even hear us say our vows on the video my dad took. Then she told me, "Finally, you are the daughter I never had." TOTALLY creeped me out. It was all in the way she said it, not what she said for those of you who think that it was a sweet thing. Then she forced us to have a reception. We did it just so she would leave us alone on it. She would come over and walk right in the house. I told DH that HAD to stop. She used to clean our house when we weren't home and throw out stuff she thought we didn't need any more. She used bleach on everything and I can't handle bleach, it irritates my skin, plus we have a septic tank so bleach is a no no. She would use it any ways. What finally did it for me is when she promised my BIL while he was away in the Army she would keep his dog till he returned, 2 days later she gave it to a guy who abused him & took him to the shelter. We got the dog back, but not after she left me a horrid voice mail. I told DH I was done until she apologized, and that she was his problem. His mom, his time. She apologized 1 year later when she wanted to join us for Thanksgiving, but DH knows to let his mom know when she is getting to be too much. I simply told him, he doesn't have to do stuff with my mom, why should I have to do stuff with his. Deep down, as sad as this seems, I was actually thankfull when I found out due to health reasons that I could not have kids. Those days of babysitting with her next door and things she says, make me realize my poor DH would have had a harder time with the both of us than he does now. She wonders why her other son never wants to come home from the Army.

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  18. My MIL is a family doctor, so she had ALOT of (unwanted) advice for me when I was pregnant with my first child. One evening my husband and I were over for dinner and she pulled me aside and asked if I was planning on breastfeeding. I said yes and she told me that that was good, but that I needed to "toughen" up my nipples so they would be ready when the baby comes. I kid you not, she told me to tug and pull on them when I was in the shower. Ummm...no thanks. And please don't ever talk to me about my nipples again.

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    1. OMG! My MIL told me the EXACT same thing!! She even suggested I rub sandpaper on my nipples to help callous and toughen them. I told my Lamaze teacher and OBGYN about it and they said that was the craziest thing they'd ever heard and to Never follow this or other strange advice she gave me.

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  19. I have to know what the person whose MIL called the baby Mitchell ACTUALLY named the baby!!!! ;)

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  20. Ok...When our first child was 3 months old my husband lost his job (it was months after 9/11 and no one was hiring for fear of an economic collapse) He was out of work for 8 months. My Mother repeatedly called him a loser and encouraged me to divorce him. (My Mother is on husband #5 btw!) We've been happily married for 9yrs and have 4 lovely children haha.

    As for my own MIL...she's cool. Except she cannot cook. Her idea of Chicken enchilada's is cheese and cream of chicken soup poured over bland chicken wrapped in flour tortilla's and baked. She doesn't say anything about my parenting or me...in words. She just laughs a bit and say "OOOOOooKAAAAY" with this look on her face that says "I'm really humoring you because you are one WEIRD chick"

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  21. Okay Number 10 TOTALLY beats my name story. I didn't have whactastic MIL's...infact my MIL lived in Florida next to Disney, so she was an awesome MIL in that we lived in Michigan next to Detroit.

    Somehow that all makes perfect sense.

    Anyway. My MATERNAL grandparents decided they didn't like what we named our daughter. Sadly there was to be no squaring off of great-grandparents as I had lost my GOOD grandparents the same year we lost our four day old son. But there WOULD have been...I was the favorite.

    However, there WAS squaring off with MY parents, when they found out that my grandparents decided to call our daughter whom we named Ripley Honor Elora (all of her grandmother's btw, were honored in her second middle name, including the one who pulled this shit)... Elizabeth.

    I have NEVER seen my parents SO. ANGRY. They let them HAVE it in the harshest languages I have ever heard them use with my grandparents. My grandmother's excuse? "Well, Grandpa always gives the grandkids nicknames."

    This is true. Nicknames like C2 and Hacksaw. Elizabeth is NOT A NICKNAME. Then they went on to moan about how she would be teased at school for her name.

    We gave them something new to wail about when we said we were planning on homeschooling her, so that wouldn't be a problem. (which, we are)

    It ended thus: I had a friend who managed a professional embroidery place, you know where they do custom work for work places and teams and stuff. I sent her onsies, and she had one made to say, "My name is Ripley, believe it or not." (We named her after the Alien asskicking Sigorney Weaver character, but the joke still stands) Ripley wore the onsie to visit Great-grandma every time we visited.

    And we never heard the name Elizabeth again.

    Elora, btw combines the best of Elenore, Lois (the grandmother in question) and Orpha (my husband's grandmother who threatened to haunt anyone who named a child after her), her three great grandmothers. She only had three, as my husband had no idea and still and never will have any idea who his sperm donor is, as the MIL took it to her grave.

    The end.

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  22. My poor husband married me despite my mother. For that alone, the man deserves a medal. Or a trophy... filled with port.

    Our wedding colors were a deep green and off-white with gold. My mother insisted that she wanted to sew her own dress to wear. She's notorious for not finishing things that she starts, but I figured she'd either finish it or end up buying something (because while she's crazy, she still wouldn't show up naked). As mother of the bride, she wanted to match the wedding party, so I sent her swatch samples of the fabrics and their colors. Well, she finished her dress. Unfortunately, it was a bright turquoise (seriously, like day-glo). She said after she thought about it, she'd rather stand out from the crowd.

    She knows she drives my hubby bug-nuts with her best intentions, but still tries to invite herself to stay with us for three weeks every Christmas. She tries to be sneaky about it, too. She asks if she can come for a week and then gives me the dates for three weeks. "I won't be any trouble, you'll hardly notice I'm there!" Except when I leave the house and come home to find that you've completely re-"organized" everything (I'm not kidding about the everything part) so that none of us can find a damn thing. And stay the huckleberry out of my underwear drawer thank-you-very-much!

    When she visited (for a month! - not to sound ungrateful, but two weeks is plenty of time) during the delivery of our first baby, she begged to be allowed in the delivery room to "help". Heck, no! Could she at least come to the hospital? Sure. We left her with one of the cars, a map, my cell phone, drove her back and forth to the hospital a couple of times before the event, and showed her how to use the GPS. My husband called her when labor started getting serious. Three hours later, I'm about to pop a kid out and I'm on the phone with my mother (getting nasty looks from the nurses about their "no cell-phones" policy) who has been driving around in my car for 3 hours because she didn't think she needed the map, can't figure out the GPS, and refuses to stop and ask for directions. And is running out of gas. Between contractions, I get her to tell me what she sees and finally figure out that she's about a dozen blocks from our house. She's mad at ME that she won't be there for the "big event".

    Mom: So what are you guys up to this summer?
    Me: We finally wrangled our holiday time and some money to take a nice family vacation! Just us and the kids, it'll be awesome!
    Mom: Great! That sounds wonderful. Hope you have a good time and take lots of pictures.
    Me: We will.
    (one week later)
    Mom: My flight lands at 6:40am the day after yours. Can I get a ride from the airport?
    Me: Um, whuck?
    Mom: I re-arranged my ENTIRE LIFE to do you this favor and hope you'll appreciate how wonderful it will be to have me there!
    (okay, so maybe I re-interpreted her last comment a little)

    I'm stopping now before I start a book...

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    1. This is hilarious! Sorry for you. I have a crazy mother too, so I can empathize

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  23. My ex-MIL is quite a woman. There are a ton of stories I could tell about her, but I will tell the "hotdog" story.

    It was a nice summer day and we had spent the morning in the pool. MIL and FIL decide we all needed to go back to their place and MIL would grill some steaks and hotdogs and we would all have a nice lunch together. I fixed the kids (DS was 3 and DD was 4) plates and gave them each a hotdog and some veggies. DS ate his hotdog, but refused to eat his veggies and declared that he wanted another hotdog. I refused and told him that after he ate his veggies he could have a second hotdog if he was still hungry. MIL (btw, she's and ex-MIL now, but that is a different and long story.) asked H to take the kids outside so she could "have a word with" me. She proceeded to tell me that DS needed the second hotdog and I was going to stunt his brain growth and development because I wouldn't let him have it. I was so shocked that I could barely argue with her. To this day I think back and question if she really just told me my son was going to turn out stupid because I would rather he eat his veggies instead of a hotdog.

    If she was allowed contact with either of my children now, she would be eating her words, though I would suggest she have two hotdogs instead. :)

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  24. @ #8 - my friend S is half Thai and half Irish. Her oldest daughter's father is Filipino. Her husband, which whom she has 3 kids is a blue-eyed blond. Her oldest has very dark features and hair, her second oldest has olive skin, light hair and hazel eyes. Her third has pale skin, blue eyes and blond hair. Her youngest has black hair, green eyes and olive skin. She took one look at their first Christmas card photo together and said, "We look like a Benneton ad!"

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  25. Thank you for posting! I thought I was living this hell by myself. My mil wreck the trip to pick my son from boot camp with her controlling ways. In summer the town were we live was selling bricks were you could put names on it for the service. When GIL asked if she was buying one for my son. MIL said no he not family he just a step grandson, in front of me. Now step grandson home on leave, she wants be here every day with us! Bosses us around, she says nasty stuff when son not around. So when I go batshit crazy on her, I look bad. After fourteen years, I could write a book on how horrible this horses ass been.

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  26. my MIL is a completely insane. She doesn't want to know technology. She doesn't allow me to use vacuum cleaner & expect me to sweep the floor. She doesn't allow me to use the washing machine & expect me to wash every week my laundry and my husband's by hands - even in the freaking winter!
    She's living with us-I know, I didn't know when I got married to my husband, I wasn't only signing for the marriage itself but signing to live in the house of hell. She would leave notes everywhere and points at my mistake and wrote that I should try to learn to be smarter (it gets worse every year, it gets nasty & horrible). She'd make sure I see the notes, even she put notes in my wardrobe how to fold my husband's jeans. I am not allowed to use the sink tub to wash dirty laundry (all laundry must be dirty otherwise you won't need to wash them!), not allowed to take them to laundromat either. I got a very shitty text mssg on my mobile when I took them to a laundromat. She said that I am the filthiest woman she knows, taking laundry to the laundromat, it's a place with millions of germs.
    We can't go anywhere just 2 of us because she will go with, even if it was only going to the shop around the corner! We didn't have our honeymoon because she doesn't want to be left alone in the house. We can't go for holiday together because someone has to be at home (but not her). Sounds like she should be the one having the honeymoon with my husband & I'm guarding the house. Crazy bitch. I plunged her tooth brush into her cat litter tray, use it to clean the toilet, rubbish bin & put it back. There you go you clean,control-freak woman, you can die now.

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  27. My MIL turned crazy once we had our first child.

    She tried to heat my stored breast milk on the stove. Not even in a pot of water...straight put the bottle on the burner.

    She doesn't seem to understand or like breastfeeding. She was so persistent about me pumping it made me want to squirt milk in her face. There are other ways to bond with your grandson other than feeding him my bodily fluids.

    We tell her not to do something and she does it anyway. Like putting juice in a bottle, changing our child into hideous clothing while we are gone, or giving him solid foods when he wasn't on them.

    Her dog attacked him in the face. That wasn't bad enough. He was attacked again, twice, while she watched him a second time.

    She constantly gives unwanted advice and tends to do everything opposite out of spite.

    Every time she visits we are inconvenienced with a massive trip to Wal-Mart. It has never failed that we don't have something as simple as mustard or a bar of soap. These trips are a minimum of 4 hours.

    She also has a problem or addiction with fast food restaurants but tries to give me healthy food weight loss advice.

    I can't trust her to drive my vehicle when in town because she is such a horrible driver. Her driving record is proof enough. She seems to always want to drive or go somewhere and it's a major battle.

    Over the years she has become a radical Christian and not only sends us cheesy DVD's but sends my husbands co workers copies of the bible as well. It's just rude.

    She needs to differentiate being a mom verses being a grandma. I'd say that's the problem with a lot of mother in laws. Do they not realize that by acting crazy and constantly crossing the line is pushing what they want away? It would be so much easier to get along. So why not swallow some pride, or whatever it is, and give some respect. Maybe then you'll be given a better grandmother role in return.

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    1. I would never bring my child around her again after the 2 dog attacks. She is dangerous and careless and should be sued for that, I can't imagine why this could happen twice. Why do you have to have anything to do with her, you are trying to be nice but your child was hurt, twice. Not to mention what this woman would do emotionally to everyone.

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  28. My MIL is the definition of insane. My H and I have been together for 5 years and every time we go to visit she insists on telling him she "thinks its time for a divorce."

    She is constantly telling my H how worthless he is and going to be a horrible father. On top of that she tells us we are toxic to each other. After standing up for my H I am now "banned from their property" saying if they ever see me again the cops will be called.

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    1. If she ever rescinds the ban, DON'T GO BACK! I can't count the times I've been banned and the last time I said 'We're done' and haven't been back and it feels great !!!

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  29. My ex-husband and I had always manged to stay friendly after our divorce, but I always wanted to get back together with him, and he was never sure. So, I thought it was about time I MADE him sure! so i contacted Dr Ekaka from the ekakaspell@yahoo.com and a request for a specific love spell, and Ekaka powers began to work his magic. My spell is working because guess what: My “ex” is soon to be my husband again! This is nothing short of a miracle. Thank you,Dr ekaka. Words are not enough.

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  30. My ex-MIL - ahhhhh, what a jem... I'm working full time, busting it doing all the yard work, laundry, shopping, cooking for both households, even doing her yard work (Ex-husband moved her in across the street). This crazy woman calls a family meeting in her kitchen - asks me, my ex-husband and herself to hold hands so she can pray for me to stop coming into her house in the middle of the night and rearranging and/or stealing her stuff... It was all I could do to stop my self from punching her in the nose. I left the whole situation not long after that... Yup - CRAZY. OBTW - this was just one of the many, many little comedies that used to be my daily life with this woman.

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    1. My MIL accused me of stealing her canned vegetables. I do not have a key to their house and I do not eat canned foods, but she was certain it had to have been me. But then, she also told her neighbors that her grandson kept robbing her house. She only has one grandchild and he was 3 months old at the time.

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  31. My husband told his parents 2 months ago we are expecting a baby. I have still not been congradulated or spoken too because, and I qote from the MIL'S mouth "nobody will ever be good enough for my children" what is wrong with you?!,!??!

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  32. My MIL, in order to pay me back for going to Disneyland with my mother, conspired with my SIL to get DH very drunk and put SIL's best friend in bed with him. Not kidding!!! Best part of the story is that my husband still speaks to them. I'm such an idiot!!!!

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  33. My MIL has been horrible to me from day one. She used to come to our house EVERY DAY and moan that it wasn't up to her standards (I have 3 step kids and worked full time, she is retired and has nothing to do of course her house is like a show home ). She would come in and re - arrange everything so we couldn't find anything. At one point I had a box to go to charity and she kept coming in and putting the things back in our home. Pretty much the entire time she was in our house she would rant and rave at us, nothing I did was the way she would do it, she would slag off my dh, I used to dread going home. My dh started to stand up to her and the visits became every few days instead.
    Fast forward a few years and we are engaged (no congratulations etc etc) and we plan our first child together. She was horrid through my pregnancy as she is far superior as she has done it so many times (well I haven't it's my first so stop ruining everything!!). She was adamant that she was going to be the first to see the baby and hold her (which is bizarre as she could t give a shit about her now) I had told that I wanted my step children to be the first and on their own (didn't go down well). She's slagged me off in front of all her family because I never let her see the baby?!?! Wtf ? The first thing I do when she comes in is offer her my daughter to hold! She is only interested in my daughter till about 3 months and then she has no interest what so ever. I tired a few times to walk to her house so she could see my daughter but I felt so unwelcome and uncomfortable as she would just slag off my dh I stopped going.
    She ignores my daughter and treats my step children like gods. At one point she hadn't seen my daughter for months as she only came over at nap time. She lives around the corner and my daughter has NO idea who this woman is.
    She tried to ruin our wedding. Ignored me the whole day, didn't say congratulations, then actually tried to attack me (the only time she acknowledged me all day on my wedding day!!)
    I have no idea why this woman is so nasty but the wedding was the final straw and we haven't seen her since. No apology for her behaviour, nothing.
    I am so hurt by her behaviour. I have bit my tongue the while time I have known her. Turns out I shouldn't have bothered!

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  34. Well why are some Mother in law heartless? im very sorry to say that my mother in law is a witch. she almost destroyed my relationship with FRED if not for the help of Dr Lamano the spell caster that helped me cast a spell that made her forget about everything that she were having against us. and now im happily married to FRED (his son) and i felt that is very necessary for me to share my experience with you in case you are having similar issues with your mother in law or father in law so that you can contact Dr Lamano through his email LAMANOSPELLALTER@YAHOO.COM or call him on +2348135738602
    thanks for your time
    my email is michellebuff66@gmail.com

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  35. My ex-mil gave me used underwear as a gift. My current one employees my husband's ex to clean our house, buys her groceries, etc. Unlike her, I never punched my mil in the face. I think my first mil liked me better.

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    1. My mil gave dh a broken spoon for our 10th anniversary.

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  36. My MIL is mean and crazy. She had loaned my husband's crib to relatives and got it back after we told her we were pregnant. I thought that was so sweet ...for our child to sleep in his dad's old crib......until I realized she had gotten it for herself. Then it turns out the slats are too wide and we agonized over telling her and fil they couldn't use the crib. What happens the first time they babysit? Yep - our baby was in that crib. I was so mad I could not speak but evidently my body language conveyed my fury as they never put him in that crib again but complained about it every time. Then the breastfeeding.........first our baby was fussy so he wasn't getting enough. Then when they would babysit I would give her a bottle of breast milk but always asked her not to feed him unless we were really late. Every time she fed him right before we would get back so there I would be full to the hilt as he was totally breast fed until he was 8 months old and him not wanting any more. I would be in agony for hours. Fast forward almost 30 years....sorry girls it does NOT get better.......my husband, mil, fil and I went to the mountains to their cabin. MIIL is 90. FIL is 91. After spending the morning crying and accusing myself and hubby of various things she didn't like ...such as washing the sheets we had just slept on.....she decides she is going to stay at this isolated mountain cabin with no transportation and very little food. My hubby tells her she can't stay there by herself as there isn't enough food, etc. After she scratches him until she brings blood, breaks his glasses, kicks him, hits him, etc. he physically has to pick her up and put her in the car while she is screaming, kicking, hitting and crying the whole way. He is limping tonight from some of his injuries. She is vicious!! You all should write down every new story that comes your way .... I've tried to forget so many of the stories just so I could allow her in my house during the holidays, etc. Not sure I'm going to any more though after what she did to my sweet husband today. GRRRRRR!!! I have been married 34 years so I've been putting up with this for a very long time.

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  37. Here's one MIL story that tops it all. In the midst of cancer treatment, my husband had a life threatening 911 emergency. We nearly lost him. As I rushed into the ambulance, covered in his blood, I told my mom (who lives locally) to call his parents who live out of state and tell them what was going on. She did and my MIL's response was "Oh, we have plans tonight. I'll talk to them in the morning" and then went out without any concern. When I confronted her about it, she defended her plans and totally dismissed her son's near death experience. For 3 days, he was in ICU, so much blood and clottage, they couldn't find the source of the bleeding. She couldn't be bothered.

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  38. Not my mil (much) but my mom! Who KNEW that this sweet, nice woman could suddenly become batshit nuts??? She felt I was "marrying up", that his family looked down on my family, that nobody took her side in anything.......she was even mad that in the final weeks of planning my wedding, my soon to be mil (who's husband was dying of pancreatic cancer; in fact died 6 weeks after our wedding) was "too busy" to talk with her about the upcoming nuptials. Uhm, gee, maybe because she's planning a FUNERAL!!!! ARRRRRGGGGGG........now it's my husband's family that is sliding down the sanity slope. We received a nice gesture of the gift of some furniture, a table and chairs . MIL was moving into sil's house and was "downsizing". We inquired about a hutch/buffet and was told we could have it as well, so we rented a truck to pick it up ($150 for the afternoon)..got everything home and set up. We moved our current dining room set downstairs, and washed up the floors, moved a in table sewing machine downstairs that weighs a small ton. While loading up what we thought was ours, we noticed some other furniture and I said "ask about that, maybe we could pay your mom for it if it doesn't sell." Well, tonight, we were told that since we were told wrongly about the hutch/buffet being free, how would we feel about paying $500 for the hutch and we could have a love seat and an antique. " If my mil was broke, in dire straights, hurting for cash, absolutely. But this was just a misunderstanding, not a profit making scheme! While I understand my husbands anger and resentment (mil has come into a rather large sum of money, enough to see her thru the rest of her life and then some) and as a friend pointed out, had she DIED, this would have been farmed out to whomever wanted it, now that there is a chance that mil could make some more money, she wants to go for it? Personally? If it wouldn't cost us $150 to return the furniture, I'd say let's send this all back to her for her yard sale. While I love the hutch, I have no sentimental attachment to it. Same with the table and chairs. I view this as a inheritance and nothing more. If no one buys it, they are donating stuff to Goodwill. Let THEM pick it up and truck it over. Took me and hubby dearest quite awhile to lift and move it by ourselves. Would be kinda funny to watch 3 women do this alone. BTW, weighs a ton. I love the furniture, but the feeling of being charged for something we were told was free? Kinda puts a damper on the happiness, you think? We aren't rich, my inlaws (ALL OF THEM) earn more with one salary than we earn with two. If we could have bought what we gladly accepted, we would have. No one else in the family needs/wants this furniture. Look, you screw up and offer someone something for free. They accept. You find out you shouldn't have offered it for free. Suck it up. Big mistake, but it's over and done with. My husband's feeling are hurt (along with his back) and he's resentful about it. For me, this just isn't worth the aggravation, let's do the adult thing, re-rent the truck, return ALL the furniture and wash our hands of this whole nightmare. Best case scenario, we got the floors all washed and got in a aerobic workout..

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  39. My wonderful MIL has is a regular angel and I have a SIL to match. :)
    She was so kind as to remind DH that he could get our marriage annulled if he did it within 30 days. She yells this fact out at our wedding. :)
    She calls constantly and even will call DH while he is in the bathroom at her house. Yep.....
    Some more fun things include the time she told him he wasn't allowed in her home unless we attend her church.
    If we miss a service the mil and sil tag team us with calls and texts. When dh finally breaks down and answers he gets the third degree.

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  40. Mother-In-Law stories are always the best, the one about calling the baby Mitchell is particularly funny!

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  41. mine is batshit crazy! I don't mean to sound cruel insensitive or even out of touch because she lost two kids but she tries to re-live her life through ours. My husband is the only surviving child due to cardio issues with his siblings but she calls my youngest by her living sons name-very weird! She comes to my house once a year for a f'ing month and I could kill myself evertime! I'm white, she's black so there's bit of tension understanding cultural boundaries in addition to her basic bs. Zero racism here, she just is from Trinidad s so has a thick accent and really grew up sort of controlling situations as the older oldest child. She thinks my husband and I are 12! She cleans and makes rude comments all the time..."why did you get those sheets"/"I'm going to throw this rug out." She previous had plans to move to LA which I put a stop to through a little "retirement convo." She has tried to soothe my kids in the middle of the night even and beat me into their room-weird! I'm the mom and you had your turn at it. I've had to be rude to set my boundaries. I literally can't wait for her to leave! I have a calendar with her face on it and written "yahoo 10 martinis after she goes." I have gotten drunk when she's in our home just to deal with her! (my kids are asleep :)/good mom promise just humor here. She is a cross between raspucia in Norbit and that chick that yells "Hercules Hercules" in the Nutty Professor. BBW! Her arms hang to her knees now that she's getting older and she little is like a giant gorilla (attitude wise/again, not racist!). Her son amazing! I wish he'd just crawl out her her vagina and stop calling her everyday. When she's in our house she tries to reprimand the kids and buys us religious crap (dish towels for example with jesus stuff) or shit from Home Depot I don't want. Ask someone- so intrusive! To top it off, three days before she leaves she goes through sever depression and acts as if she can't go on having to return home. So annoying and makes the last few days a living hell! I hope someone can relate to this. It's gotten comical because she's that bad "lawdy lawdy!"

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  42. my mil calls me manipulative, says I'm a liar, that I use her son, that I am a bad mom, that I lied about why I fired her granddaughter (my kids could have died, horrible mistake), I'm a gold digger, I don't appreciate my husband, and so forth. she couldn't get me riled up so she talked bad about my kids which worked wonders and I freaked out. my H finally sees how awful she is when I showed him the texts (other times I never complained about but don't mess with my kids) also, I told her to suck my metaphorical dick and in turn she told H to keep the metaphorical dick away from her.... that alone made me wonder who was dumber. her or me for arguing with her.

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  43. I NEVER BELIEVE ON SPELL CASTER BEFORE NOT UNTIL I MET WITH THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER CALLED (LORD TAKUTA) HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND HE IS SPECIALIZED ON A SPELL TO BRING BACK LOVE'S ONE,LOST, HE CAN ALSO MAKE SOME ONE TO LOVE YOU OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB. I AM NOW HAPPY AND A LIVING TESTIMONY BECAUSE THE MAN I WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 3 WEEK S BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR-RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 3 YEARS.....I REALLY LOVE HIM, AND I CANNOT DO WITHOUT HIM..BUT ALL HIS RELATIONS WAS AGAINST OUR FRIENDSHIP INCLUDING HIS MOTHER AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB.....SO WHEN I MET WITH THE SPELL CASTER I TOLD HIM ALL THAT HAS HAPPEN TO ME...AT THE FIRST STAGE I WAS UNDECIDED, SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GIVE IT A TRY....AND IN 7 DAYS MY BOYFRIEND (NOW MY HUSBAND) CALLED ME BY HIMSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY...THAT IS HOW WE GOT MARRIED AND HAPPILY TOGETHER NOW...YOU CAN CONTACT THIS SPELL CASTER ON HIS EMAIL Takuta_spellcaster@yahoo.com OR CALL HIS PHONE NUMBER ON _____+2348151918890..HIS NAME : LORD TAKUTA

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  44. I NEVER BELIEVE ON SPELL CASTER BEFORE NOT UNTIL I MET WITH THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER CALLED (LORD TAKUTA) HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND HE IS SPECIALIZED ON A SPELL TO BRING BACK LOVE'S ONE,LOST, HE CAN ALSO MAKE SOME ONE TO LOVE YOU OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB. I AM NOW HAPPY AND A LIVING TESTIMONY BECAUSE THE MAN I WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 3 WEEK S BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR-RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 3 YEARS.....I REALLY LOVE HIM, AND I CANNOT DO WITHOUT HIM..BUT ALL HIS RELATIONS WAS AGAINST OUR FRIENDSHIP INCLUDING HIS MOTHER AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB.....SO WHEN I MET WITH THE SPELL CASTER I TOLD HIM ALL THAT HAS HAPPEN TO ME...AT THE FIRST STAGE I WAS UNDECIDED, SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GIVE IT A TRY....AND IN 7 DAYS MY BOYFRIEND (NOW MY HUSBAND) CALLED ME BY HIMSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY...THAT IS HOW WE GOT MARRIED AND HAPPILY TOGETHER NOW...YOU CAN CONTACT THIS SPELL CASTER ON HIS EMAIL Takuta_spellcaster@yahoo.com OR CALL HIS PHONE NUMBER ON _____+2348151918890..HIS NAME : LORD TAKUTA

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  45. " MY NAME IS KELVIN. I WANT TO GIVE SPECIAL THANKS TO A GREAT SPELL CALLED DR TAKUTA. THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER AND HIS AMAZING GREAT 7DEMONS OF LOVE FROM AFRICAN BROUGHT MY EX BACK TO ME IN JUST 48HOURS. HE IS INDEED A GREAT MAGICIAN. IF YOU ALSO WANT TO WITNESS THE GREAT MAGICS OF THIS MAN THEN QUICKLY CONTACT HIM VIA EMAIL ADDRESS, Takuta_spellcaster@yahoo.com"

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  46. I WANT TO TESTIFY OF A GREAT AND REAL SPELL CASTER CALLED DR Takuta. THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER HELPED ME CAST A RETURN LOVE SPELL ON MY EX AND JUST WITHIN TWO DAYS MY EX RETURNED BACK TO ME WITH SO MUCH LOVE AND CARE. IF YOU ALSO NEED HIS HELP THEN CONTACT HIM NOW VIA EMAIL,Takuta_spellcaster@yahoo.com or call him on his mobile,+2348151918890 SHARON

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  47. THIS GREAT DEATH SPELL CASTER HAS PROVEN TO ME THAT ONLINE DEATH SPELL CASTING IS REAL. THIS GREAT MAN HELPED ME CAST A DEATH SPELL ON THE LADY THAT ALMOST TOOK MY HUSBAND COMPLETELY AWAY FROM ME AND THE KIDS. THIS GREAT ONLINE DEATH SPELL CASTER HELPED ME CAST A DEATH SPELL ON HER AND IN JUST TWO DAYS THE BITCH WAS CONFIRMED DEAD IN HER SLEEPING BED. IF YOU NEED AN URGENT DEATH SPELL THEN CONTACT HIM NOW VIA EMAIL, Takuta_spellcaster@yahoo.com

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  48. My Monster In Law Is awful. So is her entire side of the family.

    My partners parents separated when he was 2, after she cheated on his Dad (deceased). She went and started a relationship with some asswipe who was physically abusive to my partner and had 3 kids (triplets) with this loser.
    She ended up cheating on the abusive loser as well and is currently with her now husband of about 12ish years (SFIL), who has 4 kids from a previous marriage.

    Everytime my partner went to visit his mother as a child, he was treated as the outcast. He was bullied, even by his own mother. When he was old enough, he chose to live with his Dad. His Dad's side of the family love me and I feel so welcome in their family.

    When I came into my partners life, I insisted he try reconnecting his mother again. OMFG I regret that ever so much. He warned me, really he did. Since then, she has seen me 6 days over a period of 3.5 years. in that time the following has happened:

    1. She called me a bad mother and a nutjob and told everyone that my son was better off, then blamed her daughter (who said this over Facebook).

    2. I expressed my desire to have a meaningful relationship with her, her response was 'Sometimes you just have to accept that not everyone will like you'

    3. We fell pregnant and made the 8 hour drive, with my two kids in tow, to inform her, on Mothers Day, that she was going to be a grandmother. Her response was less than ideal. Instead of getting excited, we were given concerning speeches and nothing further than that. She also is still yet to congratulate me on these things.

    4. She has never acknowledged me as her DIL. She has never acknowledged my birthday, mothers day or anything. She was less than pleased at our engagement too.

    5. We went out of our way to plan our wedding around her side of the family. My partners beloved Nan is very unwell and we had planned to have the wedding 45 minutes from my MIL home, which was about 20 minutes from the Grandparents. The two BIL both dropped out of the wedding party within 5 minutes of each other, giving us the worst excuses in history. The MIL criticised everything we did and went off her nut because we weren't using her plans. MIL and the younger Aunt kept telling us how the wedding would be ruined because the town was full of criminal black people and their precious cars would be destroyed over night. The BIL told us before they quit that they wouldn't stay overnight in the town because of the dangerous black people -.- . I could go on about it but I think you all get the gist.

    6. We found out via Facebook that the Golden StepSon was pregnant. The entire family knew, but couldn't be bothered telling us. This same StepSon has been known to violently hit women, something that MIL should be unforgiving of, but no, this is the Golden Child in the words of my partner. My son will be outcast just like his father was, both my H and I know this.

    7. I attended a funeral on my birthday just for this twit to see her grandson, who was 3 months at the time. I didn't make a big deal out of it, they didn't even know, I never said anything. When she did find out, she didn't care. No sudden realisation of what I did for her, nothing. Just that I was a screw up.

    8. She constantly berates us for bashing them on Facebook, telling us to behave like adults. Yet, she is forever bashing us indirectly on Facebook, telling the world how 'some adults need to grow up, have the balls to say it to me instead of hiding behind keyboards' and will deny she wrote it about us, when she writes it less than an hour after we posted something.

    9. She did her nut in because I took her off Facebook. Apparently this was a huge crime I committed.

    Oh lord I cant wait for the day we go to Mexico to say our vows and fall pregnant again. both occasions my H has promised I can inform her in my own time and way. I think I may just keep it to myself for a few years after the fact :)

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  49. My MIL is a psycho! When I first met her she seemed nice. Then I got pregnant. We weren't going to tell anyone until after my first appointment but she went snooping through my planner and found the OBGYN appointment listed and asked DH about it. He told her not to tell anyone but she did anyway so everyone in DH family knew before anyone in mine. Then when I was about 14 weeks, we went out to eat and I am helping my 3 year old SS out with his food. She all the sudden starts screaming at me and calling me names. I told her she couldn't talk to me like that and to calm down because we were in public. I left the restaurant. At 7 months pregnant she got mad because I took my step daughter to register with me for baby things and I didn't invite her (I was trying to bond with my SD) and she tried to physically attack me but my DH stepped in the way and she hit him and then tried to run out the door with the 3 year old. She would steal my maternity clothes from my house as well and then lie. When I was in labor, she showed up at the hospital at 8am and didn't leave until 11pm when my doctor told me I was probably going to need a c section in the morning. I ended up delivering an hour and a half after she left. She has never been to my sons birthday parties and she has never bought him anything for any occasion but spends hundreds of dollars on my step kids. The last time we spoke I was trying to involve her with my son for his sake (so he could have a relationship with his grandmother) and she got mad because my phone broke and I didn't call her and tell her our plans for the weekend. She proceeded to call me every name in the book and said I was trailer trash (never lived in a trailer) and called me a welfare baby because my family is poor. Then told me I was a horrible mom and that my DH would always love his ex wife and I was just some whore trash he picked up to occupy his time. So neither of us have spoken to her since then.

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  50. My MIL is a complete bitch. Then acts like she doesn't have a clue. Right after I gave birth (via c section after 36 hours of labor) she told my husband (in front of me) that he might have more than one wife but he'd always have the same family (meaning her and his dad). She left me out of photos for years. I had her first grand child. She didn't throw me a baby shower for either baby - and I don't have family here and my mom is deceased. Then she throws a baby shower for her other sons wife. She's a bitch. And always acts like it's unintentional. I'm done hosting her for holidays etc.

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  51. If I told y'all my MIL stories your hair would curl!! Today we will disclose the most recent of my in law stories...my daughter's new MIL. My daughter and her fiance were married this past weekend. The wedding was lovely and the reception a fairytale, truly and they planned and paid for all of it themselves. My SIL is an awesome and responsible young man. His Mom was a single mother to 6 children, never married, and he went through some very difficult circumstances as a child, yet he smiles through everything and tries to love his Mom. Two weeks before their wedding his Mom demands that he and my daughter come to a family counseling session in their town about an hour away. They felt that maybe this would be a good thing to strengthen their bond and they went with open minds and hearts. There was no counseling session but his family proceeded to tell him why they felt so slighted. They were closer to us (girl's family) than theirs. Regardless, as an act of goodwill my SIL bought each of his 4 sisters and his Mom an outfit to wear to the wedding (because they said they couldn't afford it, even though they had 10 months to prepare). All of these people work too. He also provided his nieces and nephew with attire so they could be a part of the wedding. My daughter and her fiance also spent time, money and another day providing shoes for the family. On the night before there was a wedding rehearsal at the church. We gave the rehearsal dinner, it was at a casual place where people could mingle and get to know each other better. His Mom and two of three sisters did not show up stating that the groom did not tell them about this occasion. The groom was disappointed but was pretty sure he told them. S'ok not a big deal, sorry for the miscommunication. On wedding day family members were to show up for pictures about 2 hours prior to the wedding. Multiple family pictures were taken for our family. When the groom's family was to take a picture it was apparent that his grandmother and only 1 sister and her family were in attendance along with several of his aunts. The sister had been on the phone for much of the day trying to get his mom and sisters to come. One sister was at work and she managed to come later but missed the wedding ceremony. The other sister blamed her 'depression'. His mom calls the groom 10 minutes before the ceremony and says she is not coming but to wish the bride congratulations. The groom was crestfallen, he said to my daughter mom says to tell you congratulations. My daughter says oh ok. I determined right then and there that nothing else should go wrong for this happy, lovely couple. The ceremony was beautiful, the couple looked amazing! I smiled through everything and greeted their guests at the reception. When it was time for the mother-son dance, my SIL and I got up and danced to the song I had selected for us in January, just in case this narcissist pulled something like this. They have been on their honeymoon this week and have sent us many pictures and texts of what they are seeing and doing. I am not sure how they will handle their relationship with his mom going forward. My heart was so troubled that after the reception at home I cried for an hour and a half for this young man and all of the disappointment he must have suffered at the hands of his 'mother' throughout the years. When my husband pulled into the garage, I went and washed my face so that he would not know how truly sad the new SIL's mom had made me. I am hoping that my new SIL will feel that he is part of a family that loves him and would never let him down in that way. To my daughter's new MIL, she can go eat s#@t!!! KMA smooch!!!

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  52. On one of the few merged family (mine and in-law) occasions, my mil proceeded to tell the story of her past in which she, a young mother living on a farm, found a litter of stray kittens out in a field. She went out to check on them every day and enjoyed holding them and petting them. She described them in detail, smiling (a rare expression for her). So, we're all kind of softening toward this woman who we know as bitter and mean, thinking maybe, long ago, she had a heart. Then came "the REST of the story." So, she goes on to say, one morning when she went out to visit them, the 2-week-old kittens clawed at her when she arrived, which made her mad (since this particular day she was wearing a dress, instead of pants, and had bare legs so the clawing hurt); so she went back to the farmhouse, got a shotgun, returned to the kittens, and blew them all away. "So," she ended, looking pointedly at my parents and me, "YOU'D better never make me mad." True story. WTF?!? She was apparently psycho long before I met her. Poor kittens.

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  53. My MIL is a real peach. She's never liked me and it's so obvious.

    Let's see, top five from her:

    5) Any time DH talks to her, she spends the entire time telling him that he's wasted his life and done everything wrong solely because he never enlisted in the military.

    4) While we were dating, her lying, jobless, felonious, unfaithful, stealing boyfriend told DH to get his stuff and get out of her apartment (even though DH was on the lease and Charmer wasn't). When DH confronted her about it, she did nothing. To this day she maintains she doesn't know why DH didn't speak to her for six months. (But it's definitely MY fault bc he moved in with me rather than be homeless.)

    3) She's, apparently, beem admitted to the hospital multiple times for a heart condition. We found out after she was released when she flipped out on DH about it. (She didn't tell us or her ex who her other sons live with, even though she was supposed to see them that weekend. We're assholes for not having telepathy, I guess?)

    2) She honestly believes that any time we so much as mention Dad (aka her ex-husband who left when she cheated on him) that we're being spiteful. Post a silly picture of Dad and our newborn at Christmas? Obviously we're just getting back at her for being rude. (Which we weren't, even if she did ruin our son's first Christmas.) Dad comes over to help with some work on our house? It's not that we need the A/C fixed. We're clearly trying to be hurtful.

    1) The piece de resistance: she looked me dead in the face and asked who my son's real father was because, at five months old, his eyes were still blue and neither my husband's nor my eyes are. (Lady, just bc YOU couldn't be faithful doesn't mean the rest of us married folks can't.)

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