Sunday, June 26, 2011

Funniest F***king Thing I Heard All Day: True Blood

Lydia is obsessed with the TV show True Blood. She is also obsessed with all the books that the TV show is based on but since the TV show's new season is starting tonight - we thought we'd re-post this.  Lydia will be drinking a Pinot Noir t-box and watching this epsiode several times tonight. Oh even yesser.


True Blood is awesome.  It is equal parts violent, campy, porny and hilarious.  I have to fast forward through the really porny parts because even though I love to tell people to "Suck it" I get really squeamish about actually watching them do it.  The Cap'n does not like True Blood and doesn't appreciate how often he is forced to watch it.  He also says he finally understands his wife's odd prediliction for the show. Here is his logic in a snazzy pictorial...

Cap'n: "Look at the picture from the title sequence.  Now what does that look like to you, Lydia?"
Lydia: "Hell if I know, now shhhhh.... Eric is crying tears of blood and it's fantastic."

Cap'n: "Now look at this. Ring any bells?"
Lydia: "No!  Stop interrupting all the bad southern accents!  Jason is shooting that bad man with a paint ball gun after doing it with his awful wife!"

Cap'n:"You see this mylar bag?  The one I periodically see you squeezing every last drop of your mommy juice out of?  Look familar NOW?"
Lydia: "YES!  I'm a vampire!  Goody goody goody! Now would you please hush? I need to fast forward through this creepy demon orgy."

I am an idiot.  The End.

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  1. I love it.

    "It is equal parts violent, campy, porny and hilarious."

    Totally agree- we are catching up by getting the first season on Netflix right now. I almost feel like it is naughty to watch, but isn't, because this porn really does have a plot.

    Plus, that plot is genius. No more weak, sparkly, broody vamps. This is an interesting experiment, a "what would happen if...", a novel story line: what if blood could be synthetically produced, thus removing the major taboo from being a vamp? Hmmm... It is enough to keep me watching. Plus, it has just enough camp smeared on top to keep me laughing and rolling my eyes.

    Again, genius I say. I can totally feel like I am finally watching something I have to send the kids out of the room for without violating my better sensibilities.

  2. LOL!! I have never watched that show but I see ads for it all over the place. Now I am gonna have to check it out! Thanks for that!

  3. Best. Show. Ever. And I need a T-Box. Now. Just sayin'.

  4. Kristi- you got me all excited thinking they had finally added it to the stuff you can watch instantly on Netflix!
    I haven't seen it yet, but I have a feeling I'll love it too.

  5. I'm so addicted to True Blood right now. We don't get HBO - hubby is CHEAP! - so I'm watching the first season right now. Love it!

  6. oh yeah... have you seen the new commercial for it on HBO? The couple in church after watching 12 straight episodes (it's on Demand with Comcast if you get HBO) needing extra time for "private confession"... ROFL!

  7. So for Christmas the Groom bought me a four-pack of TruBlood (the ACTUAL drink from the ACTUAL show...sort of) from Hot Topic. It's got orange soda in it. But the bottle is red - looks exactly like what Bill drinks at Merlotte's - so I washed it out & can put anything in it. It's pretty. Freaking. Awesome. Next T-Box tasting (...I refuse to believe there won't be another...) I'm bringing you one.

  8. LOVE that the T-box looks like the title scene! that is great!!

  9. Even some of the straightest uptight people are watching this show, unbelievable, its like acceptable crack for the right wing righteous :)

  10. Because of you, I now love this show. Thank you.

  11. This show is where it's at! It makes me envious as hell of all the tight bods on the show...namely that yummy werewolf ALCIDE. And Sookie is the now the object of my girl crush! I heart her crooked smile and bow legs in booty shorts! LOL

    Love that Bill finally nixed the mutton chops this season and Tara got rid of those heavy braids. I am thankful for HBO giving me a free preview this weekend so I could watch the season 4 premiere! Will be keeping the channel full time to just for TRUE BLOOD! (no more waiting on DVD boxed sets...yay!!!)

  12. Holy Moses! I'm new to this blog thing, and I'm so friggin, I dunno, jazzed maybe to find out there really are many many women out there just like me! And Bestie and I thought we were the only ones! Love True Blood! Love boxed wine! And honestly, I've never used the word jazzed before in my life. :D Keep on keepin on.




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