My family is eating dinner. Here's our conversation.
Lydia: "What should we get Daddy for Father's Day?"
Hawk (age 5): (serious as a heart attack and without missing a beat) "Adult diapers."
Thumbelina (age 7): "Yes!"
Mini-mini-me (age 19 months): "Bipers!"
Lydia: "Anything else?"
Thumbelina: "I know something. Daddy needs butterfly-shaped glasses."
Lydia and Cap'n silently make eye contact. The child is Dame Edna.
Lydia: "Can you really see Daddy wearing those? Like to work?"
Thumbelina: (nods enthusiastically) "Oh yes."
Lydia: "Anything else?"
Hawk: "MIND CONTROL."
The Cap'n: "I'm intrigued by that idea, son. Tell me more."
Hawk: "Its like in Star Wars when the mind control goes humping through your whole body."
Lydia: "It goes humping? Through your whole body?"
Hawk: (sighs) "Yes."
Thumbelina: "Hmmmm... What about a box?"
Thumbelina: "And decorate it!"
Mini-mini-me: "Oooh! Oooh! Aaah!"
Judging by this conversation, the Cap'n is going to have a very special Father's Day.
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