Thursday, July 5, 2012

A Letter to My Four-Legged First Born

Update: It with great sadness that we update this post. Kate, McLovin and the children said goodbye to their beloved beagle yesterday. Kate is devastated, because even though she's known for years that it was coming - it doesn't really make it any easier when it finally happens.

Love you, Kate and we're so sorry for your loss.
xo, Lydia & Louise

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Dear Dog,

Thank you for getting me up at 4:34am this morning so you could pee. For seven minutes straight. Had I known it was going to take that long, I would have just gone back to bed until you whined to come back in.

This is a new thing for you. You used to be able to crawl under McLovin's side of the bed at about 10:30 every night and not emerge until about 7am. I suppose it's all those meds to blame. I think I'd be a candidate for the Nervous Hospital if I was taking your daily 27-pill regimen. Who knows, you could totally be trippin' all the time and loving life. Well, with the exception that I shove stuff down your throat all day long.

I think that's where the getting up all night comes into play. I really don't mind. You're twelve. You're only here for a while longer. Actually, the vets are shocked. Last year sometime they said you had maybe six months, and here you are, 18 months later. I bet if you could talk, you'd tell them all to go Suck It. But, then again, how much money have we spent on your medications? I wonder sometimes if you're taking 27 placebos and they're driving that Mercedes I see in the parking lot with the "SUCKRR" license plates.

When you were a pup, you did the same thing. Up all night. Wanting to play or eat or just not sleep. Which was kind of OK because you were SO cute and I loved that you were afraid of mirrors - or possibly it was just that other dog in the mirror? - and you'd peer out around the corner to growl at yourself. And I'd hide mirrors all over the house just so you would run into a room and yelp and then your hackles would stand up and you'd be all fierce. You were going to kick some ass. That make-up compact was a goner.

You were perfect training for children. Well, with the whole leaving-you-at-home-alone exemption. I do recall a fair number pairs of shoes that you ruined.

Fortunately for you, that was before I converted to
Christian(Louboutain)ity, otherwise I would have long ago turned you into a rug in front of the fireplace. Like a bear. A beagle bear.

And then McGee came along...then Lefty...and finally Happy. And you did such a great job of being the entertainer and the cleaner of hands and faces and floors and the occasional used diaper (which was soooo not necessary, but I'm pretty sure you considered it some culinary masterpiece...and it also explains why we don't ever let you lick something we plan on continuing to eat, like a popsicle.) And they pulled your ears and your tail and used you for balance when they were learning to walk and you silently consented to being dressed like a princess, or Darth Dogger or even that time they painted you green.

Every once in a while, despite that ridiculously long list of meds you have to take all day, you'll find some of that energy and play with them, and they gather around you like you're Mickey Mantle coming back for one last inning. Last week you got your new tags and for those four minutes you were sans-collar, I think you thought you were on Spring Break. Just because you don't have on your collar doesn't make you naked. Streaker.


I've noticed in the past few weeks you've sorta taken on this split personality that's part infant and part elderly grandfather. At night, you're once again beckoning me from a deep sleep so you can eat, or pee, or just generally not sleep, which means you wander around the house. And, during the day, you've taken to doddering around the house, barking at the chest of drawers in Happy's room and walking into McGee's closet like you think it leads somewhere. Which is kind of funny, except that you continue to go in there. The kids told me you found the portal to Narnia and you go hang with Aslan while they're at school.

I know I should be worried. And I am. Because I know our time is short. And I want to do the right thing for you. Problem is, you can't talk. So you'll have to get creative and figure out a way to tell me when it's time, OK?  And hiding in the closet isn't going to work, because fortheloveofMaude Tom Cruise has been hanging out there for years and no one has had the good sense to take him to the vet yet.

The other morning I woke up and it was past six and you hadn't woken me up all night. It's sort of strange to be like "YES! Full night's sleep!" and "Crap. Where is he?" at the same time. You were where you always are, tucked under McLovin's side of the bed with your tail hanging out. I was kind of scared to touch you. Because if you don't move, then it means I'm going to have a really bad day. But if you do move, then I just woke you up from probably a really good nap, which makes me a douche. Can't you just snore? It would make things a lot easier. And, with enough time, you and McLovin could probaly produce a rousing rendition of Deuling Larynxes. Sn-Snu-Snor-Snore-Snor-Snore-Snu-Snor-Snooooooooorrrrrrre.

Lydia just had to say goodbye to Woody Dog a few weeks ago. We haven't talked about it much. I think she doesn't want to let me know how horrible it's going to be. But I'll be with you to say goodbye and Woody will be waiting for you when you get there, OK, so you don't have to be scared. I'm the only one who has to be scared.

Hello there. You've just planted yourself down at my feet. Which is awesome because they were getting cold. And you're always so warm. But maybe you could stop licking them because now you're just making them wet...and colder...and ohmygod, what is that smell?

Ugh. What have you been eating? Someone didn't flush and you thought it was Toilet Happy Hour, didn't you?

It's OK, we'll totally blame the dog in the bathroom mirror.

I'll feed you dinner in just a minute, I promise. You just have to promise me you'll wake up tomorrow morning, ok? Please? Even if it's just to go outside and pee. Even if it's 4:34am. Maybe I'll take off your collar and you can go pre-dawn streaking through the neighborhood. You do know you're not actually naked, right? Silly dog.

OK, let's go fix some food.

I love you, so much...
Kate

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63 comments:

  1. WE know that dogs are actually the stay at home moms' best friend. B/c the men are usually at work all day and really don't pay much attention to the dog when they get home. Just a couple of pats on the head. My two dogs have been just a few steps behind me (literally) as I've been home with the kids the past 10 years. I have so many memories of them being so sweet with the kids and also bringing some cheer to me. I also have a fair amount of memories of having to clean up dog vomit/pee/feces at the worst possible moment. Still, for all the dog hair and inconvenience, I love them dearly. Hope your little guy goes peacefully on a Friday night, so McLovin is home to help in the morning. I can imagine it will be a pretty tough day.

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  2. Thanks, Kate! Now I'm crying and blubbering as I think about my own, older, furbabies. I dread the under the bed touch the cat and oh dear God please make that MEROW noise that let's me know you are not only alive but unhappy with me now moment.

    Aren't pets amazing?

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  3. I can't think about losing my dog. So thanks for making me cry. geez.

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  4. Oh have mercy Kate!! I am such a dog person and this is a rough week for me to read this. I so feel for you, the not knowing part, ugh! Know that he has had an awesome life with someone like you to take care of him and so many of our canine family members do not.

    Not to AT ALL take away from your torment, but I also wrote about loss on my blog, so I'm feeling a kindred spirit with you. It's been several years since one of my babies left this world and I'm hoping it would help a mom out whose had a miscarriage or just lost someone she really loves. I did this to support us moms and I don't normally share my stuff, so if anyone actually reads it, no snitchy anonymous comments, okay?

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  5. My four legged first born is 6 1/2 and the most amazing dog I've ever known. Much like my son, nothing bad is allowed to happen to him ever. or the world. will. end. Just the thought is enough to make me bawl (as I am now) So sorry to hear about Woody Lydia, and Kate- you're doing a great job of making him happy and comfortable and he will forever treasure you because of it. Love you ladies! <3

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  6. Oh, Kate. It's so hard at the end. I went through the same thing at the end with our beagle ("Full night's sleep!/Crap! Where is he?").

    We dreaded making the decision. Dreeaaaded it. My husband and I knew it was time when we admitted to each other that each morning we woke up kind of hoping he'd gone peacefully in his sleep, so that we wouldn't have to make the decision.

    I want to say I hope you're spared having to make that decision, but that means I'm hoping he'll. . .well, you know. And I do *not* hope that at all.

    I guess I'll just end by saying I hope you have plenty more 4:34 am moments, where you can enjoy the early dawn and each other.

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  7. Oh wow. That made me cry. I had to give my dog up in the divorce and now he is going to a new family. Breaks my heart but I know this family and they will love him as much as me.
    You are the best doggy mommy! What a lucky boy.

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  8. wow, now I am bawling. :( argh. I lost my 15 yr old furbaby Dutchess a few years ago when my husband was deployed, and a week or so ago, my furbaby Max got out of the house and got hit by a car.. so this just hits home. :(

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  9. I am a dog person. I've totally lost it with 3 dogs (and the cat we adopted when my aunt passed away - shhh don't tell anyone). Now I'm sitting here crying at work. But that's ok. Wonderful post. I'm glad you've gotten so much extra time with your four-legged family member.

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  10. Seriously, I'm crying so much I can't see the computer screen anymore. We have a 14 year old Lab and are dealing with the same kinda stuff right now. There are times I walk into the house, see him laying under the table and think he's gone, but eventually he realizes I am there and kinda lifts his paw in a wave. It's so hard to decide when the time is right.

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  11. Huge hugs to the two of you. So, so hard to have to deal with this.

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  12. This post so brought me back....
    My "baby" was just shy of 16. We agonized over what was the right thing to do. The night after we made "The Decision", he made it for us.
    My heart goes out to you and Lydia too

    HUGS

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  13. Beautifully said, thank you so much.

    Could we please have a funny one tomorrow though??

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  14. Our furbaby, Howie, is a beagle too. He's getting up there is years, and walks slower these days. I remember sleeping next to him on the kitchen floor that first night we brought him home as a puppy! Our practice baby. He had some serious separation anxiety, and destroyed many many things, including my husbands bike helmet! I find myself being totally annoyed these days at stupid things the dog does, after all the really stupid things the kids do! Thank you for the reminder I really needed to appreciate our little Howie while he's still here...for however long that is. Hugs to you and Lydia.

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  15. My cat that I got when I was still in HS just died a few weeks ago...and the cat that my hubby and I got while going through infertility is not doing well. Crazy how those furbabies become such a big part of your family. I'm sorry you and your doggie-dear are going through this. Saying a prayer for you!

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  16. I am pregnant and I cry at EVERYTHING, which means I am now sobbing and my husband is laughing at me... again.

    Very nicely written.

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  17. We put our fur body Farley down two weeks ago. As a beagle/lab mix who LIVED for food, we knew it was time when we had to tempt him with food.
    Read DOG HEAVEN by Cynthia Rylant - borrowed it to explain to the 3 yr old. I BAWL every time we've read it: "Dogs in Dog Heaven have almost always belonged to somebody on Earth and, of course, the dogs remember this. Heaven is full of memories."

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  18. Dog Heaven - great book! There is also Cat Heaven. Wonderful for when the LTS/IHP's are having a hard time understanding why their beloved pet is no longer with them.

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  19. Beautifully written and now I am crying... My doggies had to become outd=side pups when the babies came along (100 pounds of not very well-trained lab + crawling baby= Uh Oh) and now I miss them even though they're outside and I feel awful for banishing them to the backyard... it's amazing how sweet and special they are to our hearts...

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  20. pets are grand! mine got me up at 1030 last night to clean up three piles of vomit as big as my head. i have no idea what caused the vomiting spree but i was not a happy girl cleaning it up, in my pj's

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  21. Dammit woman! Now I am bawling like an idiot and am going to be all red and puffy for the rest of the afternoon.

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  22. My vet said you "will know when its time".. I literally did it while my youngest was away at camp.. pretty selfish but effective. The dog killed my bladder as I got up with her 3 times a night. She finally, blindly, was starting to turn like she'd nip when I'd help her out the door... had no fur on her back, etc... it was time. the week before my son asked "when Sasha dies can we put her remains by Coco's?" I didnt know how to explain to him we cant' take the cremains to our neighbors to hang out... Did you know it cost extra to get them back? I wouldn't have but for that conversation... He's never once looked at them and they sat in the kitchen for months.

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  23. Kate, I am fighting tears as I type this. We had to put my 15-year-old cat down a month ago and I am still heartbroken and raw inside over her loss. She was sick for a while and I used to do the same things, fearfully waking her, holding my breath while I prayed she would wake up, telling her she was going to have to tell me when it was time, because I couldn't make that decision on my own. This I can tell you- Allie made sure we knew when she was ready. She was suddenly limping on all four legs, clearly hurting, and my proud little girl who had only once ever not used the litterbox (after surgery no less, and she still looked mortified to have gone on the rug), suddenly began using the masterbath tile as a litterbox. She was telling me she couldn't do it anymore. And as much as it broke my heart- still breaks my heart- I listened. I took her to the vet, and I held her and told her over and over how loved she was and that she was the best cat ever, and when it was over and I didn't have to be strong for her or my husband, I held her to my chest and sobbed. Kate, I miss Allie every single day, but it has gotten easier and I know inside that I did what was best for her. I made a promise when I brought her home that I would give her the best life I could for as long as I could and I know that I did that for her. I pray that you don't have to make that decision anytime soon. Hug your pup a bit tighter and tell him how loved he is. {{{hugs}}}

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  24. I've buried two dogs in my life, and I still cry when I think about them.

    I'm betting you cried as you wrote that too.

    --hands over a box of tissue--

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  25. Ok. I loved this. But could you please put warnings on posts that are going to make me cry like a little girl? I am six weeks pregnant, haven't announced it yet and people are wondering why I am sitting at my desk crying over my soft taco lunch. (They're quite delicious too. Hopefully I will get the opportunity to digest them...)

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  26. That was the sweetest thing I've ever read. I lost my 15 year old dog in our fire and I am still struggling with it almost 2 years later. On one hand I felt so robbed and just devastated. On the other hand I was in constant fear I'd have to make THE decision with her or worse I'd wake up to her gone on the side of the bed. So in some ways it was taken out of my hands and in others I am so sad our time was cut short even if it was by a day, a week, a month, etc... ((((HUGS)))) You'll know when it's right.

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  27. So I read this back when you first posted it and because my first-born 4 legged friend was not quite acting himself it really stuck with me. So each morning last week I woke and said "oh thank you Jack for another day", and I took extra time to snuggle with him and give him those extra cookies. Friday night he died suddenly. He was 11 years old and truly the most wonderful soul. So thank you for writing this, because I don't know that I would have taken that extra time with him last week if you hadn't.

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  28. Oh, what timing to click on this post...I just started reading you guys a few weeks ago, so I didn't see this when you originally posted. We just put our 10-year-old VERY geriatric beagle down 5 days ago, and it was horrific. She was on doggie speed for a thyroid condition for 8 years (didn't do one thing for her) and most recently was being given insulin shots by moi twice a day. She was so miserable, but it was still so hard to let her go!!! My husband and I actually took a last minute trip to the land of hillbillies, just to escape the house for the weekend. My advice: when you have to say goodbye to the dog, find yourself an amusement park in a mountainous/rural area where cut-off jean shorts are prevalent. It helps.

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  29. We are just starting this journey. Our puppy turns 2 soon and we will be welcoming our first child just a month or two following. I look forward to building all these memories but am hormonal and crying at what I know is a glimpse of the future. Damn hormones, lovable pets, and excellent writers

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  30. I'm not even a dog person and I have tears in my eyes. We have a year old American bulldog who puts up with the crappiest of crap from our 3 year old daughter. Ugh, how much is it going to suck when he croaks and she's like 14 or whatever years old? Crap.

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  31. Kate, thank you for writing this. We had to put our 12 y.o. Lab to sleep last night. I am home alone for the first time, really alone and I am reading your "best ofs" to cheer me up. I am sobbing now but this was a beautiful thing to write. xoxo

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  32. Kate, your dog was a happy boy. I am sorry for your loss. It is really, really hard to say goodbye.
    Matthea

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  33. So sorry for your loss, Kate! We had to say goodbye to one of our dogs a little over a month ago. We adopted her about 9 yrs. ago and she was the best dog I've ever had. I know how you must feel. Take care!

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  34. I'm so sorry, Kate. It's so hard saying goodbye to your beloved fur baby.

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  35. Man did that hit home. We just went through the same thing with my 15 year old lab mix. I got him after my divorce, so I had him before the husband and the kids. I finally accepted it was time when my oldest, the princess, said she wished we had a dog that played with her and didn't just sleep and poop in the house. Hardest.decision.ever. I wish I could tell you it'll get easier but I'm still at the find-a-random-dog-toy-and-start-bawling-again phase...

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  36. I'm so sorry for your loss. My beloved Abbey passed away almost two years ago and I still miss her. She was 14.5 years old and she was mine before I ever became a wife or mom. It's never easy to say good-bye. I just like to think that she's up there running around (who am I kidding, she didn't run so much when she was here - she's up there being pampered and loved on) and happy. She sent us another dog to help fill the void and she Abbey certainly has a sense of humor - we went from a laid-back lab to a crazy, run around the house lab. Oh well - she's slowly but surely making a space in all of our hearts. My thoughts are with you and your family!

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  37. this seriously made me cry. thinkin about losing my Layla makes me want to sob. she was our first baby before our daughter was born and i dread the day we have to say goodbye to her. i'm so sorry for your loss.

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  38. Yesterday I too lost my first fur baby. 13 1/2 yrs old and she died in my arms. It's so hard and my heart is heavy and full of sadness. My kids (3&5) dont understand and keep asking when she's coming home. I know what you and your kids are going through right now and it's so hard.

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  39. I still desperately miss my beagle who left us 4 years ago. No one, and no dog, will ever take his place. I'm so sorry for your loss... I know how terrible this is. The years leading up to his passing were filled with worry and constant fear that he would go before I was ready. And when we finally said goodbye, I felt like my heart would never, ever heal. Know that all of us out there in the Mommyland universe will be thinking of you and your family as you go through this.

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  40. I'm so sorry for your loss. They really are our second set of children. I've had to make the decision several times over the years and it never got easier but they do let you know. Hugs!

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  41. Great, time for an ugly cry.
    A short while back we woke up one day and my dog couldn't stand up, and was in pain if we touched him. He had been in declining health for months, but with a bunch of other problems in our family we were kind of hoping he'd hold on until we were all in a better mental state. But we realized it was cruel, and my mom and husband took him to the vet. I remember sitting on the floor, blubbering like a baby, my three year old consoling me after she stopped panicking that he didn't have his doggie brace with him. Mommy can be strong, but for some reason dogs make me lose it. Occasionally the now four year old will say she misses him, and I wind up blubbering again.
    I'm so sorry for your loss, both Kate and Lydia. You'll both have something waiting in heaven for you.

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  42. Your loss is insurmountable and I can not tell you enough how much of my sympathy you have. As many of your MommyLand friends have told you, we get it. We've been there. I was there 18 months ago and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish my Dear Saffron was still with me. She was my daughter when I couldn't have kids with my ex-husband. She welcomed my new husband with open paws and exposed belly (Slut Puppy), and loved my first son with a disdain that can not be described with human words (though, if I tried, it would be something along the lines of: you're my kid brother and I love you, but if you knock over my water dish or pull my tail one more time you're toast, kid. Toast.) I was so lucky to have 16+ years with her. Standard Poodles don't often live that long, and we had to do a medication regimen towards the end as well (though not NEARLY as intense as your pooch had) to keep her comfortable. When we had to move, I knew we couldn't subject her to that (she was mostly blind, arthritic, and we were moving into a temporary apartment with LOTS of stairs-no way I could have handled her and my infant and a toddler).

    So I had to say good bye, when there was so much chaos in my life already, and I know I am still not over her. I will never be over her. I feel like I lost a child, I really do. And I know that you and many of your readers GET THAT. We tried to get another dog just before the anniversary of her death, and it was a huge mistake. I realized very quickly that I didn't want another dog, I wanted my Saffron back. The sweet dog we got from the shelter HAD to go back as she was more than my kids could handle and more than I had the wherewithal to train (we were seriously misinformed about her being appropriate for a family with little, little kids). So we are dog-less once again and shall remain so until my boys are MUCH older.

    I'm not sure why I just shared my sad story with you and your readers, Dear Kate (clearly, I need therapy), but I guess I just want you to know you are not alone (as evidenced by the bajillion people who have expressed their sympathy as well), and I hope you and your family will feel the ache and emptiness less and less each day. As Lydia would say, Big Awkward Monkey Hugs to you.

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  43. I'm a cat person myself (honestly, it's amazing, the Universe ONLY sends me cats to find homes for!) but I had to be the grownup and give up my Demonspawn on my own freakin' birthday (after pilling him for TEN freakin years!). It never stops hurting, you just have other fur babies who show up demanding their OWN piece of your heart. And you figure out that it stretches (your heart... along with other things, the years are not kind to any of us) to fit the newcomers and you never quite get over each loss, but you have to go on, because that pee puddle isn't going to clean itself up, now, is it?

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  44. Today my 2 y.o. old Staffordshire Terrier ate most of a bag of yogurt covered raisins. For those that don't know, raisins & grapes are toxic to dogs and can cause kidney failure. Off we went to vet, who did manage to get him to get most of them back up. But to be on the safe side, Gus will be spending the next two days at the emergency vet getting IV fluids around the clock. Total cost when all is said and done will probably be slightly over $2000. (That's a big chunk of the down payment for the new car we want.) After reading this? I'm not so upset about the money anymore.

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  45. So sorry for you loss (and Lydia too). I could have written that letter. We just lost our 13.5 year old lab a week ago and despite the 4am wake-up calls and all his many pills, I'd do anything to have him back. It's amazing how an animal can touch our hearts so much.

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  46. Wow. We have an older dog. He is the best dog ever. Loves the kids and they adore him. He's suddenly very old and missing teeth and on medication. He barks at noises no-one hears and follows me endlessly (it would be sweet if not so irritating) and wakes me up to go outside (for FOREVER, wtf? I actually fell asleep on the floor by the door once while he was out there)... but still I wake up every morning just hoping he is still breathing.

    So I get this. All of it.
    Thank you.

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  47. I missed the update. I'm so sorry.

    It's just wrong that they don't live longer.

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  48. I am so sorry for your loss. Last August, I had to put down my 15 year old beagle/lab mix when she dropped to 25%lung function. Six months later, I had to put down my pitty mix due to a cancer that paralyzed his esophagus.

    We now have another lovey sweet pit mix (with a heart condition). She is an addition to our family, not a replacement. I still cry over my first and second born, who taught me love and gentleness, and were my daughter's best friends. I cried this afternoon.

    You will always miss your fur baby , but I promise the pain, while not gone, will soften with time.

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  49. My condolences-as I've read the entire post before, I can not bring myself to do it again-just the first sentence has brought tears to my eyes. They all touch us in ways that we can not explain and bring such joy to our lives that in the end it does not matter how many times you have cleaned up a turned over garbage can or worse-our lives are that much better because of them. I am the proud parent of 3 cats one beagle/greyhound mix and an 18 month old little girl. Most days I feel like my home is a circus, but rarely is there a dull moment under our roof. RIP

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  50. My first pup passed away 9yrs ago... WOW It really doesnt seem like its been that long ago.. I still miss her and think of her almost daily.. In the 2yrs following her death my then boyfriend and I got 3 dogs. We raised them together for 4 yrs and ended up getting married and divorced. When I left I only took 1, I left the 2 60 pounders because he was keeping the house w 2acrs and a pond (i couldnt take them from that to an apartment). Ive cried over those two dogs for the last 5yrs and now his new wife recently decided she wants me to see them :):):) I have visited them 3 times in 2mo and they still remember me!!!! Its like I never left, but its very clear to me how much they have aged :( I thank her and god everyday for giving me a little more time to spend with MY furbabies.. Yes mine they will always b.... You'll never forget but eventually ull b able to tell stories about her without bawling. Sending love and hugs ur way.

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  51. So sorry for your loss. Our animals are here to remind us to be free with our love and happy to meet new friends everyday. They are here to help us celebrate and cry - the best unconditional love.

    Your beautiful friend has crossed the rainbow bridge and is now running free - streaking.

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  52. This was so absolutely beautiful. And I am so very sorry for your loss :( Hugs from someone you don't know, which I hope provides some kind of comfort. I'll hug my four-legged baby as well.

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  53. All dogs go to Heaven. Love you, Kate.

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  54. Kate, I'm so so sorry for your loss. I really know how hard it is...I send you love and support as you grieve for your first born. I lost my 3 dogs one after the other over the course of 9 months. I still choke up and cry just talking about it, 6 years later. It's the most agonizing pain I've ever felt.

    My 11 year old coon hound/shepherd was sick for 2 days and succumbed to a ruptured gall bladder while we were trying to save him with surgery. Turns out his best friend (wolf, malamute mix) had cancer that we didn't know he had and we took great care of our dogs, so how did we not know? When his best bud never came home, he became horribly depressed and the inoperable cancer consumed him in 3 months. 6 months later, our 14 year old sheltie just couldn't stand up on his own anymore and we knew it was time. We still talk about the dogs with our daughters and remember their antics. Just last night we told them stories about each of them. We have 2 more dogs now that I love. One is already 7. He's a hurricane Katrina rescue and has some medical problems. I doubt he will make it to 12 or 14, and it will crush me when his time comes. There's just something so amazing about their unconditional love.

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  55. There's nothing like your first dog-- not the one you may have had as a kid, but the first you have as an "adult", the one who was your baby before you had babies and the one who continued to be like one of your kids even after you had human ones. We lost our furry first born 6 months ago. I feel your pain. Its a pain different from all others. It is so hard, but somehow in time it gets better. Its never easy, but it does get easier. Just hold on til it does. xo

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  56. Aww Kate, I'm so sorry. What a sweet little streaker dog. There's something special about every pet. My first grown-up pets are two 15-year old cats. One is slowly dying of kidney disease and the other is being consumed by arthritis. Every time I think of them being gone I ugly cry and eat chocolate and become a wee bit unhinged. So I am sending you virtual hugs, kleenexes and chocolate from Canada.

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  57. So sorry for your loss. My best friend loss her dog the same day. This morning I took my 16 y.o. beagle/dachs/shep mix for a bath and pedicure. Every time I do something with her lately, I keep thinking it is the last time...so I keep trying to make it special. I know her time is coming soon. So, early morning bathroom trips are now our special time. I've always said that I love her because unlike the other "kids", she doesn't talk back. But I would give anything to know what she is thinking. Hold on to the memories....

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  58. My fur babies are both two and I have what I hope is a long time with them, but this post made me cry my eyes out. So sorry to hear of your loss.

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