Monday, June 3, 2013

Please Don't Give Mommy a Report Card

I originally wrote this a couple of years ago. It is both horrifying and reassuring that nothing has changed.

Where I live, tomorrow is the last day of school.  The day starts at 8:20am and ends at 11:00am.  Because that makes sense.  It seems like they've been in school forever, right?  But it snowed for three weeks straight last winter and as a result, they cancelled school - for three long weeks. *Shiver*  I still get flashbacks.  Hence, they are getting out tomorrow. 

The end of the school year brings with it some trepidation on my part.  We will have 2-1/2 months together and I am both looking forward to it and dreading it.  I love the idea of slowing down our schedule and swimming and having fun.  And then they start fighting over Super Mario Brothers, and I begin to consider donating a kidney in order to afford sleep away camp.

My concern was elevated after a discussion the kids and I had about report cards.  My friend Jane recently told me that her 6 year old strongly encouraged the notion of report cards for mommies.  I mentioned the idea to my little terror suspects and they heartily concurred.  In fact, they thought it was swell idea.

I can see their point.  It's all about accountability.  I mean, in a very real way, I work for them.  So maybe they should be able to evaluate how I'm doing.  I mentioned this idea to Claire. At first I thought she had stopped breathing.  Then I heard her exhale and say: "Womanhaveyoulostyourdamnmind?" and I could feel her Maude-facing me over the phone.

But I couldn't stop thinking about a Mommy Report Card.  And apparently, neither could my kids because I found this on the kitchen table this morning.  I had to sign it.  In ink.  Because even though it gave me the red ass, it was absolutely accurate. 

I figured you mommies would want to see it, so here it is:

It's going to be a long summer.

xo, Lydia

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