Now that we have so many fresh ones to use, I thought maybe I would try and pickle my own spicy peppers. The Cap'n was thrilled that I would even consider such an endeavor.
Two days later.
Lydia: Cap'n! Come here! Let's try the jalapeno pickles!
Cap'n: (looks suspiciously at bright green circles floating in eye-wateringly sour and spicy vinegar) Ummm... You first, honey.
Lydia: Okey dokey! Here goes! (pops one in my mouth) HOLY CRAP! These are hot! And sour! And terrible! (starts sticking tongue out repeatedly like a dog panting or a frog trying to catch a fly) Water! Please!
Cap'n: Are you OK?
Lydia: I think I made it wrong. (gulping water) Maybe I should use less vinegar. Or water it down or something.
Cap'n: Yes of course. The gentle cleansing power of vinegar and water would be ideal for that.
Lydia: (prolonged silence) Are you suggesting that I douche my jalapenos?
Cap'n: Good heavens no. And I certainly wouldn't suggest douching with it, either.
The. End.
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Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you. I needed that. A LOT! (The laugh, not a jalapeno douche)
ReplyDeleteYou first?!?! C'mon Cap'n Man Up
ReplyDeleteI don't recommend any sort of foreplay after eating spicy crawfish either...went to a crafish festival with my ex and we got home we were getting a little hot and heavy when I realized I was getting a little more 'hotly bothered' than he was....didnt get all the cayenne pepperand other assorted seasonings out from under his nails...needless to say he went to bed alone and i went for a long soak in the tub...
ReplyDeletehaha owww!i was just going to write the same as above: no hand jobs after making tamales!
ReplyDeletei like the salt brine kind of pickles: http://www.cookinggodsway.com/lacto-fermented-pickled-green-beans/
<3 <3
used herbal foot cream once as a special extra...might feel a bit like the jalapeno douche...long soak ensued!
ReplyDeleteI was just asked if I was ok by my DH, apparently it's unnerving to see me laugh so damn hard that I start crying. I love you guys, Rants from Mommyland has made my day so many times. Y'all are the best.
ReplyDeleteIn the dark, grabbed antibacterial soap instead of lubricant...OW.
ReplyDeleteThat was great.
ReplyDeleteAhhhhhhh!!!! Awesome.
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