Today we welcome the Stark. Raving. Mad. Mommy. Her stuff is great. That letter to Dora... And the ones about not being able to make friends in Texas and how she's now resorted to the internet to make mommy friends... Hilarious. Her Facebook updates are super funny and her tweets will make you snort your beverages.
Also, if you have a kiddo with Autism or Asperger's or know someone who does, you need to know about this blog. Because of the awesomeness.
Kate & Lydia
Anyway, I need to tell you about my special region of Mommyland, which is known as either Special Needsville or Yes My Child Rides the Short Bus Dammit. Actually, my son is way too panicky to ride any bus. I have to drive him. We aspire to the short bus.
My four-year-old son has Asperger Syndrome. Asperger Syndrome is frequently referred to as “high functioning autism” or the “good” kind of autism. I am assuming that “high functioning” and “good” really mean “can kick George Lucas’ butt at Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga.”
Okay? Excellent. It would also be uber-helpful if you could keep your thoughts on Little Dude’s non-potty-trained status to yourself. Yes, I know you can see the top of his size 6 diaper sticking out over his shorts. He has a habit of pulling up his Clone Wars shirt so that he can play with his belly button. It helps him relieve stress. You drink too much coffee / T-box / Pabst Blue Ribbon to relieve stress, so don’t judge.
So I know you can see the diaper. It doesn’t mean you can comment on it. Making my son feel ashamed is not going to help me get him potty-trained anytime sooner. It’s just going to piss me off. When you comment, loudly and incredulously, “he’s getting a little big for diapers,” I’m going to respond even more loudly, “and you’re getting a little big for those fake Apple Bottom jeans.” Because your tramp-stamped muffin top is wayyyy more unsightly than an Elmo diaper peeking over my son’s waistband. That’s right: You better check yo self before you wreck yo self.
Well, thanks for listening to me rant. I feel better now, don’t you? Awesome.
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