To Kate from Lydia:
Got it! Thank you very much, Mrs. Beaver!
To Lydia from Kate:
Pirate. Whore.
This random person called my phone got my voice mail then 30 seconds later sent this text.
From: 703.xxx.xxxx (cell number I assume) If this is Glenn or you have contact with Glenn please either call me or have Glenn call me ASAP.
Umm... I am not Glenn.
From Lucy to Lydia:
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
From Bride to Kate:
I broke into your house today. I left my flip flops there.
From Ann to Kate & Lydia:
My husband has been arrested for public intoxication, my friend just wrecked my car on her way to McDonalds, and I am having contractions... How is your morning going?
From Bride to Kate:
Not technically a crime because I know where the key is.
From Lydia to Kate:
Monkey. Pirate. Hooker. Yes... you.
From me to my favorite cousin Ellie: 160 Pound Tumor is on Discovery Health
From my favorite cousin Ellie to me: Oooh! Does it have hair and teeth?
From Bride to Kate:
Plus, you had MY flip flops hostage. It was a rescue.
From Jamie to her best friend:
Regarding borrowing the Spanx...No matter how close 2 friends are, they're va-jj's never should be.
From Lydia to Lucy:
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes
From Bride to Kate:
Really, they should be arresting you. Just so we're clear.
------------------------------------------------------------------
If you have any funnies to share with us, send them to lydia.and.kate@rantsfrommommyland!
Check back later for another update, y'all.
xo, Kate & Lydia
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I'm still crying from the first round! Thanks for the hilarity this Friday afternoon.
ReplyDeleteA friend to me: "Oh no! Cuddle! :-)"
ReplyDeletePart one was GREAT but the Bride to Kate ones this round were freakin' awesome!!! Please keep this as a weekly (or monthly) thing, THEY. ARE. GREAT.
ReplyDeleteMe to Mom the 2nd (aka Evi Step Mom): If I let the monkeys watch Disney movies all night while I drink a box of wine, am I a bad mommy?
ReplyDeleteMom the 2nd to Me: No, you're just a cheap drunk. Cheers!
These made me laugh... then cry. ( I just had major jaw surgery so my face looks like a pumpkin and it hurts to move let alone laugh... It was well worth the pain though!)
ReplyDeleteThe texts are hilarious but the housewife pondering Kate's working-girl tendencies just takes the cake. Love it!
ReplyDeleteI loved the tumor one. Discovery and Lifetime are both great funnies. A typical txt from me could be "Gi, don't tell me about your thighs. Do you remember when we watched the Worlds Fattest Man or something and you had nightmares? I could have built a little summer home for us on his knee."
ReplyDeletePS- Those tumors with hair and teeth are called "teratomas". If you want to gross yourself out, google it & check out the images. By far the scariest thing I have learned about in nursing school.
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