Damn. Now we want a Frap and some Cheetos...
Ahem...The Nominees Are:
Most Likely to Lose Her Schmidt Over Pop: Nicole
My identical twin sister and I just had our third babies.We are fairly
Then the yelling started. All I could hear is, "You better get over here and clean this up!" in her very mad mommy voice. Went outside, and found the garage fridge open, driveway soaked even though it hadn't rained, strange sickly sweet smell in the air, half crushed cans of Root beer, Cream Soda, Orange Soda and Miller Lite littered all over the driveway and garage, telltale splash marks all over my van and the little ones with suspiciously wet sticky hair.
The little buggers had systematically taken out all the cans from the fridge and had a riot throwing them, smashing them and spraying them, but -- in some strange twist -- not drinking them. It was the mess, the waste, the magnitude and the fact that they know better that got me!
I said some dumb things, like:
- "You better clean this up before your father gets home!"
- "I guess you're not ready for kindergarten!" (good one, punish them by withholding school)
- "I should spank you!! Do you know what a spanking is?!!" I meant it rhetorically but they said, no what? ... "it's when I ... uh... hit you." Sounded mean and lame even to me.
Most Likely To Have Kids in a Hair Band: Kandice
I should mention that I am a very big geek, with no piercings or tattoos. I don't live a Rocker Lifestyle. I am a software engineer - who really loves music and secretly hopes her boys form a more hardcore version of the Jonas Brothers (with much better music/lyrics and no rehab would be nice).
Mom Most Likely to Forget Sharing Day and Snack Week: Hope
That’s right… I would sit down at work and an hour later get a call from the teacher telling me to get my fanny back to the school (In the nicest way possible, after all it is a Catholic School) because they have not 1, but 2 sobbing kids who don’t have anything for sharing day. Once one of the SAHM mom’s took pity on my poor kids and ran out to her mini-van (Thank you Molly for having toys in your car!) and gave them each something that they could share, but when I showed up for pick-up that day, all the moms knew I forgot and I got nothing but looks of scorn and my kids got something but looks of pity from the other moms. After that the teach would send me regular reminder e-mails.
I also very regularly forget snack week or horror of all horror send something that was made in a factory that makes peanut products because I didn’t read the label (maybe I can win the award for mom most likely to harm someone else's kid, by serving peanut butter!) and either the kids would have some crappy snack that the teachers keep on hand just in case, or I’d be running up the school like a maniac with snack and making it like 2 minutes before it was snack time.
Most Likely to Become Mommy-O Andretti: Heather
Just like the famous racer, my mood can turn on a dime. I can go from zero to Raging B in 2.5 seconds. Beat that...oh, and I've been known to spin donuts around my testy-tosterony little men.
"Worst Response Time" Mommy: Heather (no, a different Heather)
Least Likely to Read the Small Print: Erika
Most Likely to Sell Children for an Extra Hour of Sleep: Jessica
Here's a picture to demonstrate what happens when I am 5 minutes late getting downstairs. It's a real, unedited picture of my middle son. I am so proud.