2. The short-lived reality TV series "Denise Richards: It's Complicated". It's actually not complicated at all. You're a douche (who married a King Douche and then divorced him) and later stole your best friend's husband. You are also horrible.
3. Simon Cowell. Good or evil? Awesome but undoubtedly evil. Is reported to be "best friends" with Seacrest.
Well, the b*tch went spitting cherry pits moonbat crazy.
(Editor's Note: Lydia, honey. Ummm... There is a "c" in Seacrest. - Kate)
6. Let's discuss his "girlfriends". I think Seacrest is a switch-hitter though I have no basis for that, other than his hair and his snug-fitting shirts. Just a very faulty gaydar. This woman (model Sophie Monk) has been rumored to be his girlfriend. I find that hard to believe. You see this picture? That's Seacrest in middle school. I find it more plausible that in 15 years the person in that photograph would have grown into Sophie Monk rather than a dude who was "dating" her. And, if in fact he is straight and is dating babes of this magnitude - then it really just validates the theory that he made a deal with the devil because otherwise - seriously? If you looked like her, would you date him? Really? You could have options like Daniel Craig and John Hamm or Derek Jeter and instead you'd be like: "Hmmm.... No thanks! I'll take Seacrest." No blonde is that dumb.
There's plenty more evidence, but I think I've made my case. I'll do a quick recap for you.
- Teacup human
- Possibly a Keebler
- Frightening, spiky hair
- Snug-fitting shirts
- Probably soul-less
- Made me watch the Kardashians
- Sort of awesome, in the same way that Krispy Kreme is both delicious and also poison
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