Monday, August 9, 2010
Dear Kate and Lydia: Opposites Attract
I really want to find my own Kate. I'm a total Lydia. From the clogs to the stains on my shirts and sweat pants. I may look a mess, but I'm a great person. And, to be honest, while I would have thought that I would never want some narcissistic, Jimmy Choo-wearing beyotch to be anywhere near me, much less be my BFF, you gals have changed my mind. Even though I sometimes think either Kate is imaginary, or that Lydia is a candidate for sainthood.
So, how did you do it? Seriously. I need this kind of friendship.
She's made up, isn't she? Crap.
Dear Lydia Too,
First, Lydia wants to thank you. For two reasons. Folks have been asking us how we met and became friends and this is a good way to talk about it. And also because every once in a while, Kate needs to be dropped a few pegs and Lydia loves it when she gets a reason to point in Kate's face and say BOOYAH for ten minutes and does the pointy dance (points her fingers and shakes her moneymaker).
The second thing we need to point out is that, shocking as it may be, Kate. is. real. [Editor's Note: Sometimes too real. Like when she calls me 87 times in one day. -Lydia]
We bet you've already sorta picked out your Kate. She's probably at your kid's school, or maybe at church or soccer. Wanna know a secret? She's not all those super snitchy things you think she is. She's just...Kate-ish. One of these days, someone is going to say or do something supawk and funny, and you both will either laugh, or try not to laugh, or Maude face, and you'll totally catch each other doing it. And then, it's like hearing "DreamWeaver" and watching everything happen in slow motion.
Then you say, "I haven't had enough coffee for all this..." and suddenly you're at Starbucks giggling about Dina Lohan.
Or, if that doesn't work, hit her with your car. Then you can bring her enchiladas. Because nothing strengthens the bonds of friendship like ooey, gooey cheesy goodness.
Except maybe a Brazilian wax.
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