Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Even More More Words We Just Made Up - International Edition

As if we haven't made up enough words...  With this list, we throw in some funny accents.  Because in addition to all the random-ness that is our MommyLand Vernacular, Kate's children have taken to saying things with strange, indeterminable accents (though they're remarkably consistent with their this-phrase-gets-that-accent pairings).  Whereas Lydia's kids just spout gibberish and then claim that they're speaking French and Spanish.

Spamich noun The language that Lydia's son claims to be fluent in, when in fact he is just rolling his R's and making up sounds that he may or may not have heard on Dora the Murthurfurkin Explorer.  Lydia's children also claim to be fluent in French (thank you, Fancy Nancy) and Chinese (suck it, Ni Hao Kai Lan).  When the little terror suspects start babbling away in any of these languages, we just call it Spamich. 

Hüt Kanüt! (hoot ka-NOOT) exclamation  Used when you've just figured out something fabulous that is glaringly obvious. Like that it's your mother-in- law's birthday. May accompany smacking of forehead. Most effective when you sound like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. Loosely translated, it means Bugs Bunny in Swedish.  Also, not a curse word but feels like one.

Protesticles verb The act of protecting one's testicles from imminent attack.  Alternately, when one's testicles protest having been squared up on. 

Hittin' the Sippy descriptive verb This implies that someone is drinking.  For little kids, it may describe that much needed bottle of milk to take the edge off a long afternoon at the playground. "He was close to having a tantrum, but I turned on Noggin and let him hit the sippy and now he's fine."  For mommy, it probably alludes to the fact that she is not drinking water out of that sports bottle. "The swim meet was awful. 100 degrees out and it went until 10pm.  But I was hittin' the sippy by the baby pool so I managed."

Rulpurdy (rull-PUR-dee) adjective Describe person, event or object that is attractive, courteous and/or exemplary. i.e. "That's a rulpurdy dress you got on there, little girl." Best used when accompanied by a huge wad of chewing tobacco, or barring that, a mouthful of marbles. Also requires the ability to reach the low range of octaves and the "Beef. It's What's For Dinner" guy's voice. Warning: Choking Hazard.

Eye Slammy noun Condition upon, when smelling something so horribly offensive -- i.e. the bathroom after the boys have been in there, or twenty-seven sprays of the *lovely* eu de parfum from McGee's Trampy Teenager Starter Kit -- causes one's eyes to slam shut until 1) the odor dissipates; or 2) you manage to blindly stumble out of the room and into a place that doesn't assault one's olfactory senses. Like a morgue. In August. With no air conditioning.

Aerosol (AR-uh-zol) expletive Conforms to the Mommyland (often broken) Rule of No Cursing in Front of the Children. The naughtier cousin to jackhole and schmidt. Most effective when uttered slowly, feigning a German accent, and following the phrase "Wuuuuut. Annnn. --" Also best employed toward obnoxious drivers of BMWs.

Turtler noun Term coined by Lydia's son Hawk to describe his little sister.  "She's half baby, half toddler and really, really slow." This should make perfect sense to those of who herd turtles for a living.

Oolbetanu (ool-BETTA-noo) verb The act of applying bandages and giving of tissues, hugs, antiseptic spray, blowing on zone of antiseptic spray to make it really cold, and sending a kid on his way. Elicits highest tears-to-laughter ratio when mom sounds like Groundskeeper Willie - which usually results in a kiss from injured-and-now-cured child who then immediately returns to said activity that caused wounding.

Furdistan  noun All purpose replacement name for any object who's actual name has become suddenly unknown. Forgetting the names of things is common among mommies due to The Blur.  Most effective with a Larry the Cable Guy accent, and when replacing a word much easier to remember than Furdistan. Say, a spoon.

Babciancal (bahbs-YAN-kul) exclamation Concludes a series of successfully completed tasks or instructions, i.e. the tying of shoes. "Make a loop, round it about, through the hole, pull it tight and babciancal." Must sound like Oliver Twist.

Prison Bus noun What your van becomes when the kids are all jacked up and you are forced to turn around and scream things at them like: "Get yer butts in yer carseats before I come back there and start knocking skulls!" or "You people better stop making so much noise or as soon as we get home I will put you in your room and lock the door and throw the key down the well!" (submitted by www.mamajulep.blogspot.com)

Slibble noun A small slice or a nibble of something.  "Let me have just a slibble of the turtle cheesecake so it won't completely ruin my diet." (submitted by Michelle J. Silva via Facebook)

If you have any awesome made-up words that you think would be good for the pantheon that is the MDR, please email them to us at lydia.and.kate@rantsfrommommyland.com.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

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