Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Funniest F***ing Thing I Heard All Day: Mmmm, Pie

This post comes with a warning.  A very serious warning.  This post is disgusting and in bad taste and sexual in nature.  Crude, rude and nasty.  So maybe click away now and come back later for good, clean, wholesome fun.

Kate loves the pool. She totally didn't have to eavesdrop on this one. Lisa was sitting right next to her. Her husband showed up with Children #4 and #5. They're 14 months apart, and the little one is just 7 months old.

Lisa's Husband: [watching the kids play] I think it's time for number six.
Lisa: [spits out drink, even though she wasn't drinking anything] Are you out of your mind?
Lisa's Husband: One more, Sweets.
Lisa: [gives him the I AM DONE and we already talked about this look] Dan, no. There are already five of them.
Lisa's Husband: One more.
Lisa: [starts bargaining] New house.
Lisa's Husband: Done.
Lisa: Full time nanny.
Lisa's Husband: You got it.
Lisa: I'd have to have that bigger SUV.
Lisa's Husband: Fine. So, it's a deal?
Lisa: [sighs] [shakes head] Dan...
Lisa's Husband: We have a deal, Sweets.
Lisa: Dan, do you like having sex with me?
Lisa's Husband: Yep.
Lisa: Do you like feeling it when you have sex with me?
Lisa's Husband: Uhhh, yeah.
Lisa: Because one more kid, and you'll wreck me. You might as well f**k a pie.

He ever so slightly grimaced and walked away. She smiled. Victorious.

The End.

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