Thursday, August 26, 2010

Happy Birthday: The Funniest F**king Thing I Heard All Day:

So I take McGee to her BFFs house for a birthday sleepover and I'm chatting up the mom.  And the boys are running around like they've been cooped up for the last 23 hours and its recreation time and you know when they leave the dog is going to finally collapse because they were all over her for a half hour. And then they say things like "Mom, can we get a dog that's fun like this? Our dog is old and -- oh, I just stepped in poop. Let's go home" and immediately get into my just-cleaned-vacuumed-shampooed car and who am I kidding thinking I can keep my car poop-free for 8 minutes?

The point is, I look around the house and it's strangely quiet.

Me: Where's [older sister] Marsha?
Birthday Mom: Gone.
Me: Really? And, [older brother] Greg?
Birthday Mom: Nope. Not here either.
Me: Dad?
Birthday Mom: Nuh-uh. That's what Jan wanted for her birthday present. For all of us to leave. Well, I can't leave, but I'm supposed to pretend I'm not here.
Me: *gasps* She's a genius.
Birthday Mom: Yeah. I'm totally asking for that for my birthday next year.

The. End.
(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010


  1. Humm I have one coming up shortly I am totally asking for that too!!!

  2. YES. Very timely post, ladies, as my birthday is in a few weeks! THANK YOU!

  3. I had that for Mother's Day this year and it was wonderful!!!!!

  4. LOVED that you used the Brady Bunch names! lol

  5. Haha, that's all I wanted for my 30th birthday. I don't know why people thought I was joking.

    Single Dad Laughing

  6. I send the other kids away for the birthday sleepovers ALL the time. It's the only way to save my sanity!

  7. Now I know what I want for Christmas, my birthday, Yom Kippur, St. Patrick's Day...

  8. The child is wise beyond her years...

  9. For Mother's Day three years ago, my husband gave me A WEEK'S VACATION. Yes my friends... a week off... all to myself. He took HIS vacation time to stay home with the girls and I went on my merry way to visit my sister in law and my newborn nephew and not have to wipe butts or cut up anyone's food for SEVEN ENTIRE DAYS.

    He still likes to "pretend" that he knows what it's like to be a stay-at-home-parent because he "took care of the kids" while I was gone. But people... I did all the laundry, housework and grocery shopping before I left. Did I mention this was during the summer, so there weren't any school drop-offs/pick ups or dance lessons to get to? He got to stay home with the kids and just play. Nice.




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