Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Oktoberfest: Funniest F*cking Thing I Heard All Day

My husband, the now infamous Cap'n Coupon, was forced to fend for himself for dinner last week.  The kids and I arrived home from our swim meet and were greeted with the olfactory equivalent of a slap in the face.  No.  Make that a square up in steel toed boots right in the old taco.

And I am a woman who is forced to ask: "WHAT IS THAT SMELL?" at least fifteen times per day.  But this was bad.  This was the aroma of sauerkraut and German sausage and German beer.  The Cap'n was enjoying an hour of being home alone with a Man Meal and a ball game.  And he'd smoked a cigar on his way home in anticipation.  The pan that had been used to cook this hideous concoction was now sitting on the stove - unwashed - perfuming my entire house. 

With no little trepidation, I took a look at the pan.  A few tendrils of  cabbage remained and the residual heat had crisped them dark brown.  The idea of crispy, slightly blackened sauerkraut is much less disgusting than its actual smell.  You should know that. 

But one thing smells worse.

Your shared boudoir the next morning, when you feel certain you've woken up face-down on the sticky floor of the Hofbrau Haus in Munich on November 1st.  We've come to expect the inanity of Christmas in July.  I was not expecting Oktoberfest in August. 
The. End.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010


  1. I love saurkraut but not the next morning (unless it's me that ate it, because that's just funny).

  2. My husband once ate a plethora of roasted garlic cloves (they were left over from a party). He had gone to bed before me that night, and when I was finally ready to go to sleep I opened the door to our bedroom and was knocked over by the smell that apparently was emanating from his pores! It was like some had delivered a pepperoni pizza to my bedroom. Sorry, gross, I know

  3. OMG, you're married to my dad!!!

  4. Yeah- i married a Korean (I'm not) and his mom makes the most hideous stuff... Chicken giblets in some nasty cabbage spicey sauce...plus Kimchee which has it's own lovely smell alll by itself. . It permeates the entire house and I can smell it as I'm walking up to the door. It's nauseating.

  5. Are we married to the same man? My husband loves to make that nasty stuff! UGH

  6. Men feel that kind of this is actually funny.

    Mine will walk in front of me, fart, then say
    "kiss for ya" then laugh.
    Now you have to remember that I live at ASS level, so you can imagine my delight.
    I am glad to hear there are others out there who share my pain.lol

  7. Deviled Eggs, that is all I have to say!




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