Friday, August 27, 2010

Seriously? Whuck?: The Funniest F*cking Thing I Heard All Day

Our awesome friend Jessica just wrote us:

This is what was just delivered to my door, thanks to my son's godfather. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.

 

But one thing's for sure, he (said godfather) is a single gay man with no dependants and a six-figure salary. The next dental bill is on HIM.


The. End.


(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

31 comments:

  1. Who is gonna put that child to bed tonight? Time to mix the whiskey in with the cocoa! (just kidding folks don't get all super-mommy on me).

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  2. I'm sending my nephew (who is 3 1/2) a kid sized, actual working set of bag-pipes for Christmas.

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  3. I bet they forgot to put on the site that it has 12,000 calories! Can you imagine? I would need a padded room for myself if my kids ever ate a part of one of those.

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  4. Oh, sweet Mary. I would make it magically disappear. I still have those powers occasionally. *laughs*

    As for the above-mentioned bag-pipes, you don't get away with things like that in my family. The parents get back at you and worse! *shudders*

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  5. OMG... that's all I can say... OMG!

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  6. Sheesh. I don't even give my kids the whole hollow chocolate bunny to eat at Easter. That ungodly glob of dyed HFCS would never meet my children's eyes, let alone their mouth!

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  7. My MIL just sent my son cream cheese cupcakes for his birthday. He is turning two and is lactose intolerant. Sigh.

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  8. I hope he at least sprang for the Astro Gummy.

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  9. My single, twenty-something brother-in-aw bought my son a drum filled with enough instruments for an entire marching band. I cannot wait for him to get married and have some kids, just for payback.

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  10. Yikes, I can't even imagine the crazed sugar high my kids would be on for days after eating that.

    My inlaws once gave my 18 month old daughter dog toys, yes DOG TOYS for christmas. They thought because she was "only" 1 1/2 she'd never know the difference. As if that's not bad enough, they were the chew kind from the DOLLAR STORE. Needless to say, that was the last christmas we ever spent there.

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  11. Yup, I'd eat it too. That's what I call something "magically disappearing." lolz

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  12. Mmmmmmmm... gummy bears....... awesome, albeit kinda daunting to eat something like that. I think you would have to hack it up with a chef's knife-- goodness knows taking a bite out of it would be traumatizing.

    As for bagpipes and drums, I must be the only mom ever who is cool with my 3 year old banging drums and playing the recorder in the house-- BRING. IT. ON.

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  13. Actually? That giant gummy bear is kind of *awesome.* And also gross. But mostly awesome.

    I also love musical toys for my kids. I'd rather listen to that than electronic toys any day. But talking Dora dolls get on my last freaking nerve.

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  14. Oh My Maude! What flavor was it? And will he be sharing with the rest of the kids???

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  15. did you check out the gummy shot glasses? Now that is something I might enjoy...
    http://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/2010/08/seriously-whuck-funniest-fcking-thing-i.html

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  16. AWESOME. I want one for my 2yo and one for each of my 7 nieces and nephews. It reminds me of Willy Wonka;0) Sometimes ya gotta do something totally crazy and "bad" for the kids- like a 5lb gummy bear. LOL OK... So, maybe I'll just send one per family. My child eats healthy most days, plenty of organic, local-grown, no-spray, hand picked veggies and fruit. But there has to be balance, which includes an occasional Happy Meal. I feel bad for the kids on all those special diets that you KNOW we'll find out are bad for them someday, just like every other diet that is popular for a time. Either that, or they will discover corn syrup on their own when they go to college, hate their Mom for keeping childhood experiences from them and become morbidly obese bc they don't know about... Everything in moderation.(Best way to go) Who cares if you ONLY eat total healthiness if you're unhappy while you do it?! Let all the kiddoes go to town on the nasty thing one time and toss the rest. They'll talk about it for Years.

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  17. Seriously, who would think that is appropriate for a little kid... I think the better question is... Does the person who sent it secretly hate you and this is the evil plot to slowly kill you??? Just asking!

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  18. That is AWESOME! No way would my 3 yo consume the whole thing (mommy gets most of it right!?!) but he would think it is to cool and he eats great so a little suger isn't going to kill him! Thats what godparents/aunts/uncles/friends w/out kids to spoil are for! (but yes paybacks a b) As for drums and bagpipes, those are for at grandmas house, we are great at making "music" without the expensive toys!

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  19. That will give you a wicked case of Gummy Tummy, but I would still eat it.

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  20. Wouldn't your jaw hurt after trying to eat that? And...my tummy hurts just from eating a handful of gummy bears...can you imagine a tummy-full of THAT thing?

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  21. Hey...my mom got that giant gummy bear for my 4 year old daughter for...Valentine's Day? I think. I let her go to town on it. Anything she couldn't eat in one sitting got thrown away. You only live once, right? Now, my grandmother, that's another story. I am pretty sure she walks to the local dollar store from her nursing home and attempts to find the most chokable, sharp, lead-filled or otherwise dangerous items she can find. Then she mails them to me in hopes that I will let my 1 year old twins play with them. And by "play" I mean die slow, horrible deaths. She did the same thing for me when I was little, so I'm pretty sure she's been trying to kill us all for a while now. It brings a whole new meaning to "it's the thought that counts". Thanks, Gramma!

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  22. Really? Not one comment about iCarly? Just don't make a lamp out of it.

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  23. Hello! Jessica here, and yes, my son really did receive that from "Uncle Stephen."

    It weighs about 5 lbs and is blue raspberry.

    The most disturbing part of it is to cut into it is like sawing off the most stubborn callus you've ever had. And then you EAT it.

    It's headless and arm/leg-less still sitting in a box. My brother wants one of his own to hollow out the stomach of and fill with either regular-sized gummi bears or gummi worms. And no, he and Uncle Stephen are not blood related.

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  24. Little gummy bears, yum! Big, ginormus gummy bear, disturbing. Then I read JSL's comment about sawing off a callus...I threw up in my mouth a little bit!

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  25. *AWESOME* My teenage son would totally love this! And he would have loved it when he was 4! Hmmm..... I'm thinking Christmas gift.

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  26. I bought this ( but the green one) for my 16 year old daughter. she had fun posting pictures of it on facebook and yes ...she ate the head first!

    sometimes you just have to do something crazy for your OWN kids! I would never dream of unleashing something like this on someone else.

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  27. HA HA HA HA!!! WHY??!! why does this even exist?!

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  28. This is so cool, but I don't think my 3-year-old is ready for it yet. Because he's in that "ohmigod I dropped my gummy bear on the floor and it's contaminated and you must do something to address this CRISIS NOW NOW NOW" stage. I can only imagine how gross a gummy bear this size would be (and how irritated *I* would be) before he got to the end of it. But I could totally see my husband chowing down on this.

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