Monday, August 30, 2010

Some Pig: Funniest F**king Thing I Heard All Day

Recently on vacation, the Cap'n and I took the family to the West Virgina State Fair.  It was wonderful.  Our day was comprised of beautiful weather, livestock, crafts, delicious fried food, thrilling rides, carnie folk, games of chance, and *sigh* a bunch of professional cowboys in town for the rodeo.

This summer, my children have both seen and read "Charlotte's Web".  They couldn't wait to go see the pigs at the Fair and wondered hopefully if there would be a little runt in the corner with a magical spiderweb in the corner of his pen proclaiming "humble" or some other miraculous display.

Miraculous display...

When my five year old son Hawk walked into the pig area, he was so excited.  Then all of a sudden he stopped and went rigid and started screaming: "MOM AND DAD AND THUMBELINA!  HOLY CRAP! EVERYONE! LOOK AT THAT PIG!  LOOK AT THAT PIG!"

And he brought the entire bustling barn, filled with people and critters, to a standstill.  This is what he was pointing at. 


When Hawk was sure we had all gotten a good look, he started giggling.  Then he said in his loudest outside voice: "Those balls are awesome."

Then everyone in the barn gawked at my charming family, all of whom were staring, horrified at a huge set of porcine onions.  And then my head caught on fire because I was so embarrassed.

The. End.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

21 comments:

  1. Testicle envy - its a common problem .. thats why boys line up at urinals instead of peeing in private ... they want to look, they want to compare ... they just can't help it :)

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  2. OMG..that is great!sounds like something my boy would say.

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  3. Some BALLS! lol. Totally awesome.

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  4. LOL! Well, you have to admit, those ARE pretty impressive!

    On the other hand, if you'd rather look at a less graphic (but much cuter) piggy picture, we just had new piglets born on our farm 3 days ago. Check out this cutie: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5412152&fbid=422845801694&id=223618056694

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  5. Dear Hawk, You rock. I'd totally giggle, too.

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  6. I would like to thank you for causing me to spew soda out of my nose...
    To. Friggen. Funny.

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  7. Some part of me hopes that my two boys will remain (mostly) nonverbal. For this same reason.

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  8. Many years ago my then-husband and I took his 8 yr old niece to the zoo. We were all of 24 or 25.

    Her loud piping voice could be heard everywhere, asking, "Hey, what is that monkey doing?"

    The monkey was, er, well, taking matters in hand. And naturally, he enjoyed bringing matters to a conclusion with the now entranced audience.

    I thought my head would simply explode.

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  9. That is... awesome. Those are amazingly huge. How does that pig walk? I mean isn't that uncomfortable? (And why did I think of that?!)

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  10. Ahahahahahaha! Also: I don't know a lot about farm animals, but I can only assume that is a Prize Pig.

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  11. Hilarious! I show my husband very few blogs because his eyes tend to glaze over but this he had to see. And he enjoyed it. How could you not? Those balls are wonderiffic.

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  12. There's nothing like bacon in the morning. *giggle* I know, I know. Bad joke. I just dropped my kids off at their schools and have not had my coffee yet.

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  13. That is Fan-f**king-tastic. Boys?!? I don't think you'd ever hear a little girl say, "Wow! Those boobs are awesome!"

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  14. I'm with Hawk. Holy pig balls, Batman.

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  15. i think i just made my co-worker jump at my sudden burst of laughter. HE.IS.AWE.SOME. but we all knew that already ;) i cant wait to go to our county fair!!

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  16. I think Hawk is my hero.

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