- Being sent home with a car full of presents.
There are rules about Grandmom presents:
- You can't say no or she will get hurt and huffy.
- Each gift is incredibly important, special and absurdly valuable. There is a story about how it was acquired and why she is reluctant to part with it. The story usually relates to how the item she is giving you is worth about ten times what you would expect to pay for it. If you *would* actually choose to buy it. Which you wouldn't. Because no one would ever imagine these products actually exist.
- Golf clubs for Thumbelina (What golf clubs you ask? The ones your Uncle Richard put in the van and then his mom told him to take out of the van because he might not give them to Thumbelina and give them to someone else.)
- A 200 watt light bulb in a 60 watt sleeve (Yes, it still works)
- 1 automobile recharger for an unknown appliance
- 1 broken Brownie camera
- 1 ladies bowling ball. Dark grey and pink
- 2 boxes wide heavy duty aluminum foil, unopened
- 3 current issues Consumers Reports magazines (June, July and Sept)
- 15 Time Magazines
- 1 box ceramic coals for a gas grill. (To my knowledge, your Grandmom has not ever used or owned a gas grill.)
- 1 steam iron (might be unused)
- 1 small igloo cooler
- 2 pounds hard candy mix
- 13 plastic spoons
- 3 plastic forks
- 2 plastic knives
- 1 commemorative coffee stirrer, plastic, from the Garden State Parkway.
I would share. But Grandmom will be asking about that stirrer any day now. I have to be ready.
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