Monday, September 27, 2010

Princess Whuck? - The Funniest F**king Thing I Heard All Day

My five year old son Hawk is really into Star Wars.  Like really, really into Star Wars.  My husband recently showed him and his big sister this totally ridiculous Star Wars spoof called "Hardware Wars" that is about a hundred years old because the Cap'n heard somewhere that George Lucas loved it.  I happen to think its dumb and a waste of a perfectly good six-to-twelve minutes.  The reason that I'm sharing it with you is that Hawk and Thumbelina thought it was awesome, hilarious and supremely clever.  Whatever.  These are the same people who liked Dora.  In "Hardware Wars", the iconic Star Wars characters have different names: Fluke Starbucker, Princess Android, Oggie Ben Doggie, etc.

So after begging me and their father for days to let them watch it again on YouTube and me saying NO, they settled in for a nice, long conversation about how mommy is mean and how "Hardware Wars" is awesome.  At which point Thumbelina said something about how funny Princess Starf*cker was and I dropped my coffee and her father started choking.

Hawk: "Its not Princess Starf*cker, Thumbelina.  It's Fluke Starbucker and Princess Android."
Thumbelina: "Whatever.  Can we please watch it, Mommy?  What's so funny?  Why are you and daddy crying?"

The. End.



And here's Part Two of Hardware Wars...

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

16 comments:

  1. Was SO not expecting that. Good thing I wasn't drinking, otherwise I'd have Diet Coke flavored boogers.

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  2. You just want to share the love with that clip, don't you? Well, I ain't frying my precious 6-12 minutes watching it...(ok, well, maybe I'll click on it for a second...a minute, tops!)

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  3. AWESOME porn name. Has it been used? LOL!

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  4. Too funny. My six year old loves to watch "Star Whores". My husband and I die laughing everytime he says it. We have to tell him "Jack, it's Star WARS". I'm sure the teachers freak when he says that at school!

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  5. they've seen "Grocery Store Wars" right?

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  6. Ok.... I'll admit I'm a pretty big lover of the Stars Wars stuff... but I could not get past 55 seconds of that.... well... whatever it may be.

    As for Thumbelina's "slip of the tongue"... awesome. She's my kind of kid.

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  7. HILARIOUS!!!!! Totally "spit" beer out my nose!!!

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  8. this is hysterical and i love you both to pieces. i'm really bummed though, to see an ad for infant formula in the sidebar of your site today though - while infant formula is a necessity for many north american mothers, advertising it is super dangerous. Lots of people don't know this, or don't realize this, so I'm not trying to be all smarty pants - I just wanted to bring it up. If you're interested in learning more here's a link to the WHO code on the marketing of breast milk substitutes: www.who.int/nutrition/publications/code_english.pdf
    Also, i'm reading "the politics of breastfeeding" by Gabrielle Palmer. it's riveting!

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  10. @Danielle, we heart you BIGGER, fluffier pink ones!! But we try and discourage telling people to do ass-related things just so no flaming starts. We get your point though. I was a pretty hardcore booby-feeder myself, but I feel so strongly that moms need to do what's best for them and sometimes that means formula. The last thing I want to do is make someone else feel guilty and judged when in so many respects I am a parenting train wreck. Huge hugs to you and thank you for reading. You look awesome today, did you get your hair striped?
    xo, Lydia

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  11. I also almost spewed coffee on my keyboard at that one...OMG hilarious! Have you and daddy stopped crying yet. LOL

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  12. I saw your article on HuffPost which in turn lead me to your blog. I was laughing hard when I saw the words on the flag (what is the term for that? I've drawn a blank! I'll remember eventually...in the middle of the night when I can't sleep because the song from Shaun the Sheep is stuck in my head)...now where was I? Oh yes, the flag...I was still chuckling when I read the Princess Whuck story and now I'm crying from laughing!! I'm so glad I've found your blog, you are going to keep me sane...well, okay, at least incredibly amused! Thanks ladies!

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  13. MOTTO!!! The word I was searching for is MOTTO! I remembered in only 3 days!! A new best time for me!! WOOT! (I hope I'm using that right, I'm not certain if WOOT is an acronym for something or just a noise of celebration. I'll have to go check the MDR...
    As always ladies, I adore you both, you are my kind of women!

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  14. HAHAHA. I peed myself! I haven't done that since my now 5 yo called a 'firetruck' a 'f**kers truck' when he was 2. Wow, I can guarantee from now on I will watch that movie and lmao every time.

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  15. That reminds me of when my little cousin was a baby. He loved trucks. Especially dump-trucks. It was awesome that he'd point and shout, "Dumb f*ck!" every time he saw one.

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