Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Tap-On Dance Off Embarrassanza

Can we just say how *awesome* tap dancing is? Thank you for picking it for us.  And, we're pretty sure we're in the Super Way Accelerated Honors Tap Program, because we totally know every move and all the names and everything. We can buffalo and Irish and slide and step and shuffle and hop (four clicks!) and turn and ball change. Of course, when our fabulous teacher said, "now we're going to learn the step ball change," Lydia and I turned into adolescents. Which we are. Obviously.

[Editor's note: Do you remember when she said "Now we're going to some flaps" and I was all: "Slaps?! We get to slap?! Woot!" and you gave me the stop being stupid face?  That was great. - Lydia]

It seems that our only issue may be when we have to take all this knowledge and put it at a speed that isn't glacial. When Twyla - our totally cute and happy teacher in these awesome shoes that split down the middle so she could do this hop and land on the tip tip tip of her toes, and STILL make the click sound - was teaching the move she was like, "OK, you go STEP (pause) SHUF (pause) FLE (pause) STEP (pause) BUFFALO (pause) STEP. And then repeat. Go all the way across the room. Like this..." and then went supercrazyspeedyquick across the room. And then said, "Do you want to see it again?" and Kate was all, "Did we even see it the first time?"

[Editor's Note: As many of you may already suspect, in our dance studio there is a huge mirrored wall that we are almost always facing.  That could be part of Kate's problem. - Lydia]

Oh, and we're pretty sure we scared her. With our awesomeness, with our crazy enthusiasm and giggling. And, with our requests to film things. We think we may need to show up next week with some sort of flowers. Possibly a doctor's note saying we aren't, in fact, crazy. Maybe both.

The highlights:
  • We didn't fall down. So, a successful night at the tap dance studio
  • There is the opportunity for a recital at the end. With costumes. That. We. Get. To. Pick. Out. [However, that being said, we're also considering a One Night Only Tap-On Dance Off Extravaganza Recital to take place on Kate's porte cochere -- where all the fun happens -- and have the audience filled with MommyLand rather than random strang--wait. Also, T-boxes. Mostly so you'll applaud at the end.]
  • Technically, the December recital is only for children.  We think the children might really appreciate our intensity and creative dance stylings.
  • We've discovered there is a Tap Dance version of "Poker Face" -- well, Lydia did. Kate was too busy trying to SHU-FUL-STEP-HOP! to pay attention to the music. The music in her head is more like five-six-seven-eight Dammit, Shoot, oops, Step, Hop, nope-hop NOW, Dammit. TaDAA! With jazz fingers at the end.

  • And, yes, there is video. Behold:

 One mom has suggested we do our final recital to "I'm Awesome" by Spose. We think that's completely appropriate. Plus, the cussing will help distract you from the actual dancing.

We've been practicing since we left the studio. Kate clearly needs more practice than Lydia, which Lydia was happy to point out in her snitchy text messages:

Lydia: The best part of our class? That we tapped to Lady Gaga and the Step Up 3D soundtrack.
Kate: There was a Step Up 3?
Lydia: STEP! UP! 3D! You know what that means? It means it's in freakin' 3D! I've already downloaded "Bust Your Windows." Mmm-hmm. That's right.
Kate: I lurved it! I've been sliding and buffaloing all over the house.
Lydia: Don't lie, whore. You can't buffalo worth sh*t. But your three step turns are lovely.
Kate: Shut up. I know they are.
Lydia: Bye bye hoofer.

So, we are totally going back. Lydia is considering that we might NEED to stay in this class through June, and Kate is still wondering if it's possible to do an Irish Buffalo Ball Change without it sounding porny. We think no.
As you may have noticed from the video, Kate was all fancy in a skirt...Lydia was in a) yoga pants; 2) two separate but equally over-worked sports bras; b) at-shirt with multiple boobstains that she claims was clean and c) knee-high panty hose pull-ons in lieu of socks to wear with her Mary-Jane style tap shoes.  She looked like a diabetic dowager.  But, it clearly means we are still in need of stylish, MommyLand practice wear. You all have submitted. We have narrowed the list.

It's time to vote for the t-shirt slogan you like the best!  We're glad it's your hands because there is too much awesomeness to choose from. 

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010


  1. bravo! you go girl (or is that you tap girl?)

  2. You ladies are way beyond awesome. I'm going to have to look into this just for the super cute Mary Jane's with taps and heels. Tap on!

    xo -E

  3. I thought Kate's ball change was lovely. Ball change. Heh heh heh.

  4. heh heh heh watched your lil vid with my 4 yr old daughter and she said, "Don't do it again, it's annoyin'!"

  5. I would buy a 'Tap it, Fancy' shirt -- so quick. Probably several as gifts, too.

  6. Once more! With feeling! Do you still have time to get a soft shoe in? (Still reeling over the Slayerette training denial. Sigh.)

  7. Seriously a "WHUCK?!" shirt needs to be made regardless since I'm trying to phase out my swearing before my new baby arrives! Whuck has already become a very important stepping stone in my recovery!!

    The Tapping is AWESOME and I am so jealous - I love dancing!

  8. I'm a Kate, wish I had a Lydia...this looks like alot of fun, foolishness and mayhem...definitely deserves a t-box! Bravo ladies!

  9. why did I imagine y'all tap dancing in dance clothes like a bunch of 7 year olds? love, love the skirt! y'all make tap dancing look good!

  10. Obviously, there needs to be more than one slogan...there are too many awesome ones to choose from!

    I think the videos need to be a weekly installment.

  11. oh...this is so good...makes me miss my tappin' days..maybe I should revisit and take a tap class somewhere! I even used to teach tap,'
    Thanks for the inspiration!

  12. Ha ha ha ha it! I wish had friends like you guys.

  13. Oh my verification word for my last comment was "spusting". I think I love that word and will incorporate it into my personal lexicon.

  14. I love you both so much. I'm going to do a time step in my office to celebrate my love for you. If I get fired for tap dancing at work, I'm coming to live at your house. Ditto is a break an ankle.

  15. Also? The secret code word I had to type in for my last comment? Was "fackma". That totally sounds like a cuss word.

  16. Tap this Fancy is a must need shirt. I'll wear it to my daughters dance classes!! Also, you must, must, must include videos weekly, if not daily now. And, my oldest daughter told me she was going to loose her schmidt the other day. That is all.

  17. Neither of you sound like what I thought you sound like in my head when I read your posts. I loved this! :-) Tap on!

  18. I wish you guys lived in my town. I just made my husband watch the video and he thinks I am crazy. Well, he didn't say that, but he picked up his guitar and walked into the other room while I laughed into my wine glass. Keep up with the videos!

  19. Just watched your video and died laughing - this is so much better than when your favorite book becomes a movie!! PS... Kate - Hubby says you've got great legs and now he wants me to tap!!!!!

  20. I'm sorry, but the Tap It variations just sound so PORN-Y to me! Love the WhackTAPular one, tho! I took tap when I was three, and I *STILL* remember bits of it. ;) I still had the skirt we wore for our recital as recently as seven years ago (before the evil ex-husband took everything that was in my storage unit and held it hostage). Wish I had the fundage to get my 9 y/o Fishie into tap. She'd love it!




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