Tuesday, October 26, 2010

How Crazy Will Mommy Be?

Today we posted the "Halloween to Holiday Death Spiral".  The following graphic describes just how that phenomenon affects mommies - week by week - by measuring how crazy they will feel.  This is science.   You are our peers, so please review this scholarly missive so we can claim our contribution to Learning has been peer-reviewed.  We aim for excellence around here (sorry about the typos).  Perhaps print it out and hang it on the fridge?  So that the people who live with you can consider themselves duly warned. 

For our Hanukkah Mamas, just cram everything into less time, try not lose your schmidt and please pass the brisket.  And a second helping of latkes just for me because they're my favorite.

xo, Lydia

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

24 comments:

  1. That's awesome--but for those of us that celebrate Hanukkah you'll have to smash all of December into the very FIRST week, and run for cover. Not enough liquor bottles to make it okay this year. . .

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  2. Yup, that seems about right. Awesome! I also get to deal with first trimester pregnancy stuff during this wonderful time of year. So I get to add vomit after every sentence of the above. Christmas will be extra special this year because that day officially marks the beginning of the second trimester!

    Sadly, no egg nog for me this year...

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  3. Ooh, nice use of the "frenetic flapping about" phrase from previous snarky commenter!

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  4. yep, that about sums it all up. Now please pass the wine, just reading the graph is causing little spasms.

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  5. @Jennifer, I corrected the post to include that very apt observation. This is science, after all.

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  6. this. is. awesome!! especially the first week of december, that is ALWAYS me!

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  7. see thats why I live in Australia- no thanksgiving and no halloween! oh, That and the fact I am Australian lol. Sounds crazy. Endure... oops I mean enjoy

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  8. Love this add my sons and my birthday to the list to make it extra expensive and even more spectacular!!! Lots of egg nog and mulled wine 4 sure!!

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  9. Ha. I get to deal with third-trimester-waddling around-with-heartburn-and-three-second-bladder, a three year old boy, and a traveling military husband for the first part of the holiday season. Then I get the baby removed at the beginning of December and will still be recovering from that surgery when people start appearing at the house for Christmas, which we somehow ended up hosting for seven extra people plus the husband and the three year old boy and the new baby. All having never had a Christmas at home ever so we don't even have Christmas decorations to put on our unfinished house.

    Whew, I think that about covers it. Holiday Death Spiral is a very fitting name, lol. Luckily my kid isn't in school, so I don't have to deal with holiday class parties and such.

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  10. "GwenythAnon," your previous snarky, judgey, holier-than-thou commentator here. Having read (as advised) "Is This The Right Blog For You," will most likely be bailing on the blog as this cup of tea is a bit too wallowwhiney for these parental ears. "Rants From Mommyland" leaves one panting from all the hyperactivity; it's like Bollywood meets Jersey Shore but without the hook-ups (not that there's anything wrong with that).

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  11. @GwenythAnon,
    I sort of love you and think you're a bad ass. Via con dios, amiga.
    xo, Lydia

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  12. Awesome and completely accurate.

    Happy HalloThanksaChristmaNewYear! Sanity: I look forward to reuniting with you in January.

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  13. I totally <3 you gals! Your "my kind"

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  14. doesn't seem quite so bad over here in merry old England, i have a sign to tell all trick or treaters to "go away - you've got no chance here", my kids are all grown up and consequently will probably be down the pub and as for Christmas - well I run a gift shop so have been living Christmas for the last month or so already. I also have to do a lot of gift wrapping for the customers so by the time it comes to do mine, I just shove it in a gift bag - so much easier!! ha ha

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  15. I am so glad you decided to forgo tracking of posterior expansion in your model.
    My death spiral is front loaded. Sweet Pea's birthday is Halloween. We celebrate Hanukkah, too. By the time the jolly fat man comes down our chimney I feel (and probably look) like I've somehow survived a tornado. Pass the spiked egg nog, please!

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  16. To this list, I can add my daughter's birthday, my husband's birthday, end of year soccer party (hubby is coaching), FRG Halloween Party (I am leading-therefore planning), 1 niece & 4 nephew's birthdays, the stress of being stationed in Germany & worrying that the Halloween costumes won't make it in time b/c the mail always gets slooooower this time of year, the fact that our PX ALWAYS looks like a trailer park after a tornado, and last but DEFINITELY not least, the knowledge that NOV 13TH is the deadline for Christmas packages to be mailed if I want them to make it to the states in time.
    Yes, I am completely wallowing in self pity right now, and maybe a little wine...oh wait it's only 0730. I need to wait until noon. Oh yeah, and I'm hosting the neighborhood Bunco next Thursday. Wine please!

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  17. lol, that is unbelievably awesome!!

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  18. Commence the frenetic flapping, as The Big One is playing travel hockey, and The Little One has just been selected for travel baseball. At six. Oh, and both their birthdays. And various church activities, including "Fall Festival", Thanksgiving, and Christmas... And my book coming out in the spring... (that is a WHOO HOO!)

    Alas, poor Gwenyth; we hardly knew ye.

    (This is starting to feel like college, where we sat around the table at lunch trying to one-up who had more to do... without actually doing any of it!)

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  19. Yep.. I had a minor panic attack that a "major" ( for a small town) holiday fundraiser Im INVOLVED in is 3 weeks away and somehow I agreed to lose 6 days of holiday prep in Florida with extended family.... How crazy will mommy be? Oh yeah, I also said I'd put together an advent book... 2 submissions so far.

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  20. Loved the frenetic & flapping around reference. You ladies truly are all kindsa awesome.

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  21. I actually find the holidays a bit easier . . . for now. Both my and my husband's parents live here locally, and would you believe it: their holiday schedules (with the exception of Thanksgiving) perfectly mesh! The only dizzy part is remembering whose house we went to for Thanksgiving the year before, and they don't exactly live close to each other so driving back and forth between the two homes twice in two days (Dec. 24 and 25, naturally) can be a little stressful . . . but really, we just piggy back, and we can get away with it because our kids are so cute.

    Now that the kids are getting older, my husband and I are discussing perhaps venturing into our own family holiday stuff . . . Eep. So not ready to enter that chaotic chaos.

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  22. I had forgotten all about Thanksgiving until readying this. Thanks a lot snitches. Where's the rum?

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