Saturday, October 2, 2010

Letter from Offspring #1: Bring on the Bees

We simply can't resist sharing...remember the awesomeness that is Offspring #1? This is what she sent us when we asked her if we could post her letter. If you use your Offspring-to-English translation guide, it says "Yes."

First, here's our note to her: [Editor's Note: OK, Lydia's note to her...Kate was still trying to rid her brain of bees...or trying to name all of them. We're still not sure. - Kate]

Hi Offspring #1!

Lydia here. Waving back! Are we related? Or on the same medication? Because I understood and enjoyed every single tiny little bit of your email and I'm guessing there are not a lot of people in the world who can say that. Or would say that. Can we please post this letter?? It's awesome! And magical. And are you real? You're not made-up, are you? That might sound like a strange question but Kate and I get mails asking us if we're real all. the. time.

Thanks for writing to us and for reading our blog. We love that you're out there being you. Because you're amazing. Tell your mom we said hi!

xoxo, Kate and Lydia

And, here's what we got back. Get ready. Drink handy? OK. Here come the bees...

Heya Lydia!

We could be related! Do you happen to know of many people who act at least half their age and tend to bounce everywhere to the IKEA song? Because I think I'm related to all of them! Or maybe we're just a subspecies? Come and join us! We have reunions! Which is odd because we were never union-ed in the first place. These reunions involve Marshmallows And Fire and also HUMDINGERS! I don't even know what a humdinger is, but it's incredible and it comes to ALL the reunions! It gives the BEST bear hugs and accidentally carries off the occasional child-- OK AND BACK ON TASK

School starts on Friday. I'm stuffed with this attention span. Anyway!

You can post it if you like! But if you do? You might want to work out what to tell the people who tell you to stop talking to the escaped crazy person! I think I might be real! YAY! But if I am actually a figment of your imagination, I'm sorry for whatever the bouncing has done to your brain. I REALLY hope that wasn't valuable because if that's true I can tell you right now, I can pay for that. but you could imagine it more fixed if you liked, so really I didn't break whatever it is I didn't break! I think I confused my own brain.

And you're pretty blimmin' amazing yourself! You made HUMANS. ACTUAL PEOPLE!

And my mum says hi back and looks a bit worried because she can't remember which one of my friends you are. Apparently that's what happens when I randomly shout "MUM! LYDIA SAYS HI!" You can see her flicking through her mental address book. Wish I had one of those! I just pretend to know who people are until they tell me. Or kiss me like my Great-Uncle (I think) Neville did at church and I had no idea who he was. Then you kind of have to admit you have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER, but you're sure they're very nice. And then they tell you and you have to act like you know even if you don't. So then I explained and she says hello and sends a smile.

I think it's housetrained. The smile, I mean.

Have another one to keep it company!

Love and Hugs,
Offspring #1

Oh, and we got a letter from her yesterday that explains "The Badger Incident." It's -- it''s something totally and completely and unequivocally Offspring-y...we're still dizzy...we'll post it next week...YAY!

xoxo K&L

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

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