Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Little Things: Funniest F**king Thing I Heard All Day

As told to Kate by Guru Louise:

My husband was giving the baby boy a bath in the sink and our two-year old daughter was helping. 

Daughter: [in her baby-talk voice] "Baby, are these your teeny, tiny toes? Are these your teeny, tiny feet? Is that your teeny, tiny belly button? Is that your teeny, tiny penis??"

Husband: "OK! Bathtime OVER...!!!"













(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

31 comments:

  1. at least you called it a penis. I said pecker, which was repeated again and again from his 3 big sisters... penis, pecker... whatever!

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  2. hahahahhahahhahahahahhaha!!!!!! That's hysterical!

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  3. When my son was 2 I was changing his diaper and he started crying. "Mommy, I'm so sad." What's wrong, honey? Why are you so sad? "Because I have a small tweeter." Oh honey, it's all right, you're a small boy. As you grow bigger so will it. "So when I get to be a big boy like Daddy I'll have a big tweeter like Daddy?" Sure honey. Of course you will. "Ok, I'm not so sad anymore."

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  4. My 5 year old daughter was watching me change the 3 month old and started asking about his boy parts. So I told her what they were. Then she starts poking him and I actually had to say "Stop playing with your brother's scrotum!".

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  5. ~she shutters~ "penis" - I hate that word - it's dude around here or aptly "little dude"! teehee

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  6. My nephew saw me changing J's diaper and he said "Why is his penis so small?" And I told him it was because J is a baby. He looked at me and said "Yeah... but Aunt Law Momma... it's REALLY small."

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  7. My daughter wanted to know why baby brother had a hot dog stuck on him. Ha!

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  8. I was eating cereal as I read this and nearly choked at the penis part! Too funny!!

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  9. I've had to say to both of them at separate times, "Leave your brother's penis alone, you have your own". And not completely cracking up while saying this is very difficult.

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  10. One of those times I'm so glad I have a girl!

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  11. we had the opposite problem....Sweet Pea was crying one way because Super Guy had told her that her penis fallen off and she could never grow another one...she was super upset about this and we had to explain that girls come different than boys and that Super Guy was teasing because she never had one to start with. Don't know if that made it worse or not....

    Thanks Super Guy....way to encourage your sister...

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  12. I have an older son and when he was around and I was changing his baby sister he would always ask where her penis was.

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  13. chacha- strangely i have said the same thing to my boys! the things you never thought you'd ever have to say...

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  14. I'll never forget the first time my son found his testicles. He looked up at my from the bath and said "what's this mama?" I replied "your testicles." From that day on, whenever he's in the bath, he finds them and says "these are my testicles." Such funny words coming from a 2 year old.

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  15. My 2 year old daughter, who was discovering all the names for the parts of her body,was watching me change her baby cousin's diaper and wanted to know why he had a nipple on his butt... She was disappointed because she only had the 2 up top.

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  16. My boys now strapping teenage football players cannot stand it when I tell this story. So here it is : )!!!!! When my youngest was 2 and his brother 4. The oldest one ran in the kitchen crying......Mommy he broke my Woody! I was laughing so hard tears where streaming down my face as I noticed the Woody doll in his hand with no head.

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  17. My oldest used to help me bathe her brother when he was an infant. Almost every time, she would reassure him that his penis would grow someday and be big like Daddy's. Um, OK.

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  18. Our now 10 year old daughter learned the words "penis" and "testicles" early due to two separate yet equally hilarious and appalling incidents.

    The first time she noticed her father's penis, she pointed at it and inquired, "Mei-mei's?" Which was her word for breast, nursing...y'know. Anything along those lines.

    A few months and a rapidly expanding vocabulary later she pointed at my husband's again exposed penis...(damned boxers)and asked "Whasat?" This was a frequent question to things she knew as well as things she didn't know, so we replied, "That's Daddy's penis." Which she knew. Only she wasn't asking about the penis because she marched over, lifted it up and pointed to his...ahem...testicles and demanded, "NO, WHAS THAT??" And lo, testicles were added to her two year old vocabulary.

    The plus side is, by the age of five she could teach a course on human reproduction and sexuality. She was the only six year old at the Bodies Exhibit in Tampa (vacation) who was excited when we got to the preserved uterus.

    You think I exaggerate. I assure you, with Ripley I don't have to. The unadulterated truth is waaaaaay better than anything even *I* could make up.

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  19. My kids are two years apart and when my son was a baby, she thought I said 'peanut', so she replied with, "Daddy has a peanut.".......ha!

    Molly
    www.thebloggingmom.com

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  20. I was soooo glad baby #2 was a girl so I didn't have to teach my 3 year old the word 'penis'. Because she would be the one to boldly announce to the checkout lady in walmart: "my brother is a boy because he has a penis and I don't have a penis and mommy doesn't have a penis but boys have a penis and I like their penis and mommy can I be a boy and have a little penis too?

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  21. According to my son, boys have "peanuts" and girls have "v-jays"

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  22. My 2-yr-old was watching a friend's father change his diaper and got very quiet and contemplative. After a few minutes she finally decided what it was she was seeing - "it's a duck!". Um, OK. :) About 6 months later when she was potty training, she asked what her clitoris was so I told her. After that she had to show it to everyone whenever she was using the potty. "Look! I have a clitoris!" LOL!

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  23. I have an awesome one for you.

    When my son was around 6 months or so, my 2.5 year old daughter finally commented on his boy-parts. I was changing his diaper, wiping off poo, and she said, very matter-of-factly, "Mommy, you missed a spot. Right there on his wottom." Me: "His what??" K: "His wottom" pointing to his boy parts. So I clarified that this is what she calls it and indeed, it was. Then, a month or two later, when the two were in the tub together, she expanded her terms and the scrotum because the wottom and the penis became the "desoy" (I have no idea...). Not much later, she declared that the tip of the desoy (he's circumsized) is the "soy". So, wottom, desoy, and soy. These names never changed.

    Well, fast forward another month or two and she and I are at the grocery store. I pause to get some organic milk, which is right next to other milks. My daughter began reading at age 2 and by this point, was already capable of reading anything. Well, as I grabbed the milk, her eyes grew wide and a look of terror crossed her face. She slowly raised a finger in the air and pointed, saying, horror-struck, "Mommy? They sell SOY MILK!!!"

    Funny on so many levels!!!

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    Replies
    1. Why do you think it is funny its truly not to think tour daughter seeingand looking at a penis and scrotum you should be ashamed of your self f#ck off whoever has to check this and giving it names this makes me so fucking mad

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  24. I babysat for a little girl (about 4 years old I think), and she kept saying that she had "nutters". I had to explain to her that only boys had nutters, lol.

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  25. My oldest daughter was just about 3, and a little boy friend of hers was getting a diaper change. She'd seen boys get changed before and hadn't said/noticed a thing, but this time she got the most astounded/confused look on her face and shrieked: "MOMMY!!! Christopher has SKIN growing out of his BUTT!!!!"

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  26. My three yr old daughter announced to my mom that her baby brother had a little penis and that Daddy had a great big huge penis. Daddy must have been teaching the anatomy lessons.

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  27. My 2-yr old daughter kept playing in the bathtub with her 4-yr old brother's penis so much I finally had to tell her, "Just because it floats does not make it a bath toy. Leave your brother's penis alone!"

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  28. When my daughter was 2, she was in the bathroom when her dad had just gotten out of the shower. She looked at him, tried to grab it, and asked, "You gotta tail?"

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  29. My 2 year old daughter walked over to me were I was changing her little 6 month old brothers diaper and asked why does he have that sack under his winky I told her that it was his ball sack she said why is it pink I said well that's just how the look

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