Thursday, October 28, 2010

Ointment: Funniest F**king Thing I Heard All Day

So, a few weeks ago, I wrote a post about how my house is a disaster and that I can’t find anything.

In it, I included this photo of my desk.

Which elicited this comment:

And, now here’s the photo close up:

And, being that this commenter has the same name as our Church Preschool Principal, I of course felt the need to explain myself, lest she think I’m a person who keeps ointment on her desk. Gross. So I texted her:

Me: It’s LOTION! But that was f**king hilarious! I didn’t even notice it. Thank Maude it wasn’t ointment. Because I’m sure there’s some of that here too.

And then got this text back:

CPP: Huh? Who is this?

Me: It’s Kate! Wait. Did you comment on the blog? If not, I’m stupid.

CPP: Uhh, no. But I’ll read the comments to see what it means.

Me: Basically it means I’m a jackhole. 

The. End.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010


  1. It always amuses me when I start talking about something that happened/was said with someone only to realize I'm talking to the wrong person and they have no clue what's going on.

  2. Really? You dropped the f**-bomb on the CPP?! Or someone you thought was the CPP?

  3. Maybe touching keyboards gives you a rash, so you need to have your ointment handy... Or maybe you spend a lot of time on the computer, especially around bedtime, and keep your daughter's eczema prescription handy to slather on her before bed, because you are a good mommy and if you keep it by the bed, the husband keeps losing it in the bedsheets when you need it most (she wakes up crying and scratching her legs, and you blindly grope for the lotion, and you thought HE had applied it, since its HIS JOB to do it after bath, and WHERE THE FRICK IS IT?!)

  4. Kate, I believe the response you're looking for is this:

  5. You never know when you are going to need a big ass tube of ointment . . .

  6. Am I the only one with their mind in the gutter when it comes to having a giant tube of lotion in front of the computer... It's ok I guess, so long as you don't come back and say it's your husbands... Sorry.

  7. it puts the lotion on its skin?

  8. Look on the bright side, at least it wasn't a big ol' econo tube of Monistat, or medicine for jock itch, or KY. :)

  9. Who even looks that closely at the pic?? I was like yeah, messy, that would totally be my desk if I had a desk...(I just spread my chaos all over the kitchen counter) but I didnt examine EVERYTHING, lol...

    Ah,'s good to be embarrassed. It's a bad thing when you stop being embarrassed after doing double embarrassing things...

  10. OH, my gosh! Just reading the comments above makes my comment wilt. You all are hilarious!

  11. Hey!!! It was me,I'm Nini! You have no idea how thrilled I am that MY COMMENT made it's own post!!! Seriously, that made my day! Nini is a nick mama called me that when I was little and my closest friends found it hilarious and call me that now. Your preschool director is named "Nini?" I am going to log off and tell my friends that I am famous now. I feel strangly complete.

    BTW...I am a master at Where's Waldo and I Spy (which your desk would be perfect for, btw) and the jumbo ointment/lotion jumped out at me.




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