Friday, October 1, 2010

Top Ten Things *Not* To Do When You're On LIVE TV

So, Kate & Lydia have been invited to go on a DC chat program today called "Let's Talk Live" -- we're totally excited and mostly nauseous and even a little bit sure this might not be our best idea.

It'll be on at 11:00am Eastern on TBDTV if you live in the DC area. If you don't, here's the website.

But, being that we're totally *professional* bloggers now, we figure this is just a faster way to embarrass ourselves. Woot?

We've been getting a lot of advice from family and friends about how we should handle this awesomeness. Well, after they were all, "Wait. They want you on TV? Really? Did someone cancel at the last minute? We've heard everyone's getting the stomach flu, so you're probably just a fill-in. Also, congratulations or something. Yea you."

So here we go:

10.  Falling down. Bad.

9. Don't break anything. Don't call each other hookers. Don't sing. Silence your phones, because we don't need to hear "My hair looks fierce" blasting out of your purse. Try and keep the bees in your brain sober so you don't blurt out "Crap! I left the dog out!" in the middle of the interview. Crap! Did we leave the dog out? What?

8. For Kate: There is a very good chance the studio will have many many reflective surfaces. Including a TV that will be showing you -- umm, yourself. This can only be bad for you.

7. Try not to use too many words from the MDR. Because when you use the word "professional" people think that means "good at your job" not that you wear matching outfits.

6. Fire. Also bad.

5. For Lydia: "Do not eat or drink. Anything. Or stand near anyone eating or drinking. I love you, Boobstain, but those things have their own gravitational pull. You might also want to brush your teeth before you get dressed. You know what, just avoid any and all things that could wind up on your boob." [Editor's Note: This is exactly what Ellen said to Lydia. Exactly. -Kate]

4. Be funny and clever. But you guys need to watch out. Because when Lydia laughs, mascara runs down her face and Kate snorts. This is a television program, not the 4H.

3. We know you love your tap classes. Just, no. If you get tempted, see #10.

2. Find a safe word. You know, one that will get you guys back on track if Lydia starts talking about things that are gross or Kate starts staring at her own reflection.

1. Please, for the love of Maude, don't let the safe word be "douche."

Lydia has been very busy learning about the show, the interviewers, the format, what question they'll be asking and finding out if you guys can watch it live or if we'll need to post it later. Kate is --- ummm, Kate is standing in her closet. Researching. Super.

This is going to be awesome! Also, possibly a disaster. We think we might have the stomach flu.

xoxo Kate and Lydia

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010


  1. This is hilarious. I wish I could watch you guys live but I will TOTALLY be watching the video clip! Have a blast, don't burn down the set, and also try not to call anyone a douche nozzle.

  2. Can't wait to hear about it! Hope you can post a clip for those of us out of your area.

  3. don't wear anthing with a pattern, anything really red or anything white. I know Kate knows this, just a friendly reminder from one TV gal to another. And for the love of Maude, no shiny make-up. Powder is your friend, "dewy" should be outlawed.

  4. Aww man, I'm in the DC area but apparently DirectTV doesn't carry that channel, just 47 channels of infomercials.

    Good Luck!!

  5. Break a leg, ladies! Look forward to watching. Cheers! Jacqueline

  6. How fun!! I will be watching over the interwbs since I am in Florida. Good luck ladies! You guys will do great!

  7. LOL, loudest I've laughed all week. Can't wait to see the show.

  8. Please DO call someone a Douche Nozzle. Or a Schmidt-monkey. Please?
    Oh. Too late. You already did your show. Dangit. Please post?

  9. Kay, I need to see this. Can you post a clip? Pretty please?? With cherries on top?

  10. I thin it was great when the newscaster called you 'mommy-perts' it's equal part 'mommy expert' and I think an equal part compliment on great boobs with a lack of boobstain. You both did great. Congratulations or something. Yea you.

  11. AWESOME...loved watching this and LOVE LOVE LOVE your idea to have a crawl on the bottom of the screen on Nick Jr.

  12. That was a great clip, thank you for sharing it...and congratulations on the interview! You both looked wonderful and it was a fun chat ;) At first, you both looked nervous but by the end everyone was chuckling and it was good! Good job, ladies!




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