Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Birthday Party: Funniest F**king Thing I Heard All Day

Saturday morning, 10:13am.

I get a text from Lydia.

"I'm a jackhole. I just drove all the way to Vienna for a 10am birthday party. Except it starts at 1pm."

So I immediately call her.

Kate: Please tell me you're lying.
Lydia: Nope. Rang the doorbell and everything.
Kate: And? Wait. It was at their house?
Lydia: They were still in their pajamas.
Kate: Ohmygod. Charlotte's house, right?
Lydia: Uh-huh.
Kate: Hooker. She's pregnant. And you showed up at ten o'clock on Saturday morning?
Lydia: She invited me inside. I was like, "Uhhh, no. We're leaving. Immediately."
Kate: You're stupid.
Lydia: I'm mortified. But her house is soooo beautiful. It smelled like fresh wood. And I told her that. And then I heard her husband snickering somewhere in the house.
Kate: That's what she said.
Lydia: Annnnnnnd, now I'm hanging up.

The. End.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010


  1. Commented on FB, but feel like repeating myself: I can beat that. I went to a birthday party a DAY early. Sat and hung out with the kiddo's grandparents (who I'm sure thought I was a complete idiot) while my kiddo and the bday boy played and I got to tell mom (who's like, my best friend) via text that I was a supreme moron. That was fun.

  2. Wood is always fresh in the morning! lol

  3. Ahhh... morning wood. They must have been in the middle of polishing it when you arrived. Awkward!

  4. I did that once but not only did I have the wrong time so did the hostess/mom. It was a fun day had by all:)

  5. i did this same thing...except I was 8 days early! One whole week and a day!

  6. That's what she said.

    Freaking awesome.

  7. LOL it's the weight loss thing. Lack of over-processed, high-fructose-corn-syrup-laden foods will do crazy things to your brain.

  8. I can beat both of you. I showed up a WEEK early for a birthday party with a gift FOR THE WRONG KID.

    To make matters even worse, I missed the party the following week because I forgot. I'm awesome.

  9. At least you went: I spoke with the mom the morning of, told her I would be early to help wrangle and cut cake. Two hours later, bundled my bundle of joy into the car and went to the mall to hang with other Mom's club people...wondering where the birthday boy and his mom were. Hummmmm. Nice.

  10. Fresh Wood!!! HAHA!! That alone was worth the trip.

    At least traffic is not too bad on Saturdays...




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