Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Birthday Party: Funniest F**king Thing I Heard All Day

Saturday morning, 10:13am.

I get a text from Lydia.

"I'm a jackhole. I just drove all the way to Vienna for a 10am birthday party. Except it starts at 1pm."

So I immediately call her.

Kate: Please tell me you're lying.
Lydia: Nope. Rang the doorbell and everything.
Kate: And? Wait. It was at their house?
Lydia: They were still in their pajamas.
Kate: Ohmygod. Charlotte's house, right?
Lydia: Uh-huh.
Kate: Hooker. She's pregnant. And you showed up at ten o'clock on Saturday morning?
Lydia: She invited me inside. I was like, "Uhhh, no. We're leaving. Immediately."
Kate: You're stupid.
Lydia: I'm mortified. But her house is soooo beautiful. It smelled like fresh wood. And I told her that. And then I heard her husband snickering somewhere in the house.
Kate: That's what she said.
Lydia: Annnnnnnd, now I'm hanging up.

The. End.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

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