Thursday, November 11, 2010

Cleared for Take-Off...Oh, Never Mind. Or, Yes Now. What?

So, I'm not going to blubber and whine all over the place, but this is the conversation I had with McLovin Friday night. In the dark. At ten forty-seven at night.

McLovin: So all this past week, I've been told I have to leave on Sunday - this Sunday [Editor's Note: Which was yesterday...super. -Kate] for Afghanistan
Kate: [scrunching further into her pillow, Phil] That's great. What?
McLovin: I was supposed to leave for Afghanistan on Sunday.
Kate: How are you telling me this now?
McLovin: Well, they said be prepared. And I didn't want to get you or the children all wound up again, so I waited. And then this morning, I got the e-mail that said I had country clearance. So I was picking up the phone to call you and then my boss came in and said, 'Never mind. They have all this stuff happening and don't need you to get on a plane on Sunday.' Anyway, I knew something would come up, so I didn't tell you. Well, until now.
Kate: Are you f**king kidding me? So, if you HAD had to go, it would be in like 24 hours?
McLovin: Well, yeah. But I didn't have to go, see? So I didn't get you wound up for nothing.

Then I turned on the lights. Mostly because I was pissed. And, hello? WOUND UP!

Kate: So, your brilliant plan was to tell me on Friday morning that you were leaving on Sunday morning?
McLovin: Ummmm....yes.
Kate: Because...?
McLovin: Because I didn't need to tell you and get you upset if I wasn't going to go, which I'm not. So now it's good. See?
Kate: [thisclose to punching her husband, and wishing it was still dark so he wouldn't expect it] It's super, baby. That's an awesome plan.

Am I missing something here? I know I turn into Crazy McWhiner when he's planning on going and all...but seriously? His master plan to rescue Crazy Kate is to turn her into Oblivious Kate? And then drop "ohheybytheway,I'mgoingtoAfghanistan..." seventeen minutes before the cab arrives.

He was off with Happy on Saturday and called me. As soon as I saw his number on the caller ID, all I could think was, "great, this is the call...he's leaving tomorrow...or now. Or, he's already on the plane and I need to come get an insane 4-year old at the airport."

They were just planning on going for lunch.

Two days later, I've turned into a whacked out version of Pavolv's Dog, freaking out every time my phone plays his ringtone. We know it's just a matter of when; I just didn't know the when could be NOW. Or, now. Or now or now or now.

McLovin spent the 47 years before me making the world a better place. Safer. Doing things no one else on earth would want to do. Funny thing is, he wants to do them. That man went into Sarajevo, Bosnia, Rwanda and every other place that was so awful it sent everyone else running away. It's what makes him wonderful and amazing and when the world has peace in places that never had peace, he's part of the reason.

And I'll I know now that I didn't know on Friday is that he's saving us from fretting for days, so we can slam all that horrible feeling into hours instead. I promise I won't tell you when he goes; I know there's so many of you out there who sleep on half of the bed waiting for your other half to come home. You don't need to know the comings and goings of my other half.

But I do have one request:

He's asleep now. In our room. I don't know for how many days. But for now, the phone isn't ringing, which means he's not going anywhere right now. And that's enough...I hope.

And to our veterans out there -- thank you for your sacrifice. On this day, and the other 364 that we don't mention you by name, you - and your families - are in our thoughts, our prayers, and our hearts.

with love and gratitude, Kate & Lydia

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010


  1. *tears* .....and I would want to punch him too!

  2. Hoping he doesn't have to leave anytime soon. :(

  3. I cant even imagine how hard it must be having a partner in the armed forces, always waiting for 'that' call. But thanks for keeping a sense of humour about it. Great blog

  4. Completely beautiful !
    THANK YOU :)

  5. yeah, logic goes out the window with things like that - - the guys TRY to help - but usually don't - - but you have to give him credit for the effort - because in the end, the effort is all that matters.

  6. I understand your frustration of the phone. Completely had my Thanksgiving food planned and mostly purchased, yesterday we get a call that my husband will be training for 3 weeks (which he can't call or come home from) during Thanksgiving. Thanks Army you get ANOTHER holiday from us, keeping my fingers crossed we get Christmas this year...

  7. ((((hugs)))) and a few tears.
    Thanks you to you, your family and your husband along with all the Vets and their families for doing what all of you do for our country

  8. (((HUGS))) This sounds exactly like what my husband would do. He gave me plenty of notice this time, but I think its only because I am 6 months pregnant and he's afraid of the hormones...

  9. Ah, loved this, I was a military brat and now I am a military wife... so I know how it feels when someone you love so much has to walk out the door to go to "that place" and you worry and hope and pray that they will make it back to you and your family. (((HUGS))) I hope he doesn't get that call anytime soon....part of me hopes to always have my hubby at home with me instead of that place,but that is me being selfish, without people like our husbands, fathers, grandfathers, brothers, sisters etc the world would not be what it is today. Thank you to all the service men and women past and present for bravely,selflessly and heroically putting yourself in the face of fear to protect us all!

  10. Aww, Kate. You are funny and adorable and I love you and Lydia.

  11. Thank you for this!! My husband is a civilian who works for the military... we are currently in a holding pattern too, waiting to find out when he goes to Iraq. Again.

  12. Damn. I cannot even begin to imagine. I might not ever answer the phone again. Thank McLovin' for me. It's amazing that there are people out there willing to take those risks to keep all of us safe. And that he has such an amazing wife and family that put up with his insane reasoning and hold down the fort while he's out saving the world. Bravo to you both!

  13. I'm now sobbing into my tasteless, sugar free, no butter oatmeal, ugh! BUT I am eating this shoe polish and sitting at my desk, reading your thoughts and doing exactly what I wanted to do this morning BECAUSE of people like your dear McLovin and the awesome families who support them enough that they can leave when called, knowing they have the kind of family that also is doing what they are called to do. You are all sincerely spectacular!

  14. The Hurry-up-and-wait game is the worst. We played that for three days in a row at the airport with kids in tow, only to be turned around and told not taking off today. Thank you for making me belly laugh ladies, our Fourth deployment ends this weekend and will be a surprise for our children who still think he's coming home next month. I hope we can keep you just as entertained during your deployment as you keep us entertained.

  15. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

  16. Thanks to your whole family for the sacrifice they make.

  17. Awww Kate. You're an amazing human being just as McLovin. I can't imagine myself being in the same situation as you guys. I even suffer when my hubby has to go out of town for business a couple of days and that's not even dangerous at all, I pray for him to return home safe.

    Thanks to people like McLovin our world is just better place. Thank you for that.


  18. Beautiful post. I heart goes out to you, Kate. I honestly don't think I'd be able to handle it. I'm so grateful for my husband's boring desk job. Peace to you and your family.

  19. I really think the nice stationary will go a long way with Afghanistan. They really like a really lovely note.

    Hugs to you and to all the families that sacrifice for the security, freedom, and well-being of others.

  20. Thank you and McLovin for all the sacrifices you make. Also, all the troops, abroad and here, for everything you do, thank you.

  21. Aw, hugs to you all. And please do tell us when he goes so we can pray even harder.

  22. ((Hugs)) The uncertainty is terrible. In our army reserve house, it's the dreaded email that we are jumpy about. We had only 1 week's notice that he was going to training this time which was the quickest yet. He'll be off to Iraq in the new year. It's never easy and you never get used to it, but you walk the road you are given. Some days, we crawl and some days we walk. And there is no shame in the tears you cry for your sweetheart who is away from you and is missing the children grow up. It is hard whether you're home or whether you're the one who is away. So ((big hugs)) to all the spouses and children going w/out their loved ones this Veteran's Day. You are not forgotten either.

  23. Happy Veterans Day Kate. I appreciate his heroic service, your love and support of each other, your strength, and our freedom.

  24. I'm certainly glad you have him home for now. Happy Veteran's Day to you and McLovin, our family appreciates your sacrifice!!

  25. Hi Kate. My family lived in Afghanistan for about five years doing relief and development work (yes our kiddos were with us). A lot of comments have thanked you and your family for your service and sacrifice as Americans. I'd like to say a heartfelt thank you on behalf of all of my Afghan friends and from the families who adopted us when we lived there. His sacrifice (and yours)are deeply appreciated by the average Afghan who knows how difficult it is to provide any kind of peace and security to their situation. I thank you and McLovin as well for doing your part to make the world a safer, better place.

  26. Kate, I just told my husband that if he were to get recalled (he's former Navy, and a recall was a big fear for a couple of years after we got out) and pulled this on me, they wouldn't have to worry about him going overseas, I'd kill him. :) Because this smacks of something he would do. LOL

    I've been active duty and an active duty wife (my ex is still active and so is my big brother). Thanks to deployments, my ex missed both of our kids being born, and missed pretty much every birthday and holiday for the six years we were married, either because he had duty or was deployed. :( It's not fun, it's not easy, but it is the path our feet were put on, so it's the one we walk.

    Our thanks to you, because (even if he's not military, he works WITH them, so in my mind this applies to you, too!) the hardest job in the military is the military wife. Our thoughts and prayers are with you that he doesn't get that call any time soon.

  27. Kate~
    You and McLovin deserve each other..both of you are absolutely *amazing* people who deserve nothing but our best, our love, our hugs and our prayers.
    Please give each other a big hug from this family for all of the sacrifices you and your family continue to make for this country. It is truly appreciated

  28. Kate, I can only imagine what you are going through. Your post brought me to tears. I'm finding this remembrance day especially emotional as my husband's best friend is due to arrive home from afghanistan in 2 days. He's just finished his tour, and I've never been more grateful to know he's ok. I've also never looked more forward to a reunion as I am this. Thank you for sharing. I will be thinking of you.

  29. There ya go, making me cry big baby tears because, well, we're waiting on a call, too. **hugs**




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