Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Daily Schedule...with Amendments

Several months ago, I gave my husband this *awesome* gift, which was this notepad that had 365 pages for an entire year's worth of To Do Lists!! He loves to make lists almost as much as I do; his problem lies in the fact that he never manages to cross anything off his list. Me? I'm basically unable to go to sleep unless all the things are done. Well, except for my List List -- which is my list of things I need to make lists of -- and that one sorta perpetually gets longer -- that's what she said.

Several months after he got this awesome gift, I noticed it was still sitting on his desk. And still wrapped in cellophane. Whuck?! Why is he using the back of old bank envelopes when it has the time of day, little boxes to check when a particular task is done AND space at the bottom for writing little notes to yourself. Oh, and it says TODAY IS ___________ at the top, so you just have to fill in the day. It's genius. And it's genius skills were being severely underutilized since he was employing it as a paperweight.
Since he did not properly appreciate the awesomeness of this gift, it became mine.  And I've become very productive with these lists. Not only do I get to check stuff off, but I have created deadlines for myself ALL. DAY. LONG. And you should know, I just love deadlines.  There's something about having to have certain things done by a certain time not matter what that I find oddly appealing. It's also probably about 4,000% of the reason why I'm never late.

 So, I took it back.

And here's the thing. It. Is. AWESOME! And I can think of all the stuff I want to get done and write it all down, and then plot it on the schedule part and time it out. And, I've gotten REALLY good at it. Like, here was what I came up with for Tuesday:

And I did it all on Monday night, so that I was all motivated on Tuesday morning, and I even managed to squeeze in a workout that morning that wasn't even on the schedule but did it anyway. Though, to be truthful, I didn't put it on the list because I was afraid I might not get up and go and then I'd throw off all the mojo and my day would blow up like it did the last time.

So, by 9:15am, I have accomplished three of the two things that were on my list. THREE OF THE TWO! I'm already ahead of the game. Up next the post office to mail back a few thin--*phone rings*

  • Lydia: Whatcha doing hooker?
  • Me: Just dropped Happy off at school. Going to the post office.
  • Lydia: I need a Selfy Steam. Meet me at Starbucks...
  • Me: OK but I have to run to the post office
  • Lydia: I only have until 10:30...the baby was up ALL NIGHT.
  • Me: [looking at mail, glaring at me back] OK, be there in five.
  • Lydia: Oh, it'll take me 20, because I have....
I stopped listening and started playing with my phone in the parking lot, and trying to reconfigure my day. OK, just shift everything down an hour and I should be all right. Maybe I can move the vet appointment? And go the grocery store during karate - it's just next door, after all.

Coffee with Lydia turned into me going to Target to buy her a T-Box, which,of course, led me to buying even MORE Sharpies and I'm pretty sure I keep getting the same cashier who keeps selling me more and more Sharpies and looking less and less put together and she's probably thinking I sniff them or something. Which I don't do intentionally but kinda do because I can't hold my breath that long and they're super smelly.

By then I was gross and smelly and still needed to get cleaned up and my whole morning was GONE and I totally gave myself an Elvis shower (that involves sticking your head under the shower nozzle, semi washing your hair and face and running a wet washcloth over the rest of you.) Shut up. It's all I had time for.

The rest of the day was a clusterf**k of throwing food at people and demanding they eat it, forgetting the Geriatric Gimpy Beagle's vet appointment which is *super vital* to him, you know, continuing to live, and succumbing to the TWOD's ---Terrible Wife Ordered Domino's --which sadly happens in our house. A. LOT.

What I didn't do: ummmm,
  1. get the posterboard for McGee's project
  2. mail anything
  3. write for the blog
  4. fill out my timecard -- so much for getting paid next week
  5. call the nanny about tomorrow. She does work for a crazy lady. I need to pay her more.
  6. go to the farmer's market, grocery store, karate or dry cleaners, which was the ONE thing McLovin asked me to do and I was all, "you got it dude" and now he's going to have to wear the white dress shirt that got mixed in with the darks and is now sorta puke colored. What tie goes with that?
  7. pack lunches for the next day
  8. bathe the children
  9. do anything with my hair after the upside down nozzle trick. I looked like Sideshow Bob.
Here's what I did do:
  1. saw Lydia once
  2. called Lydia three times
  3. answered when she called four times
  4. texted her 43 messages
  5. lost my favorite pen
  6. napped
Here's what I learned:
  1. Lydia and I are like 17-year old girls with texting issues
  2. I love lists but should never plan to be that productive
  3. the hours between 9:15am and 12:15pm seem to move more quickly than from 4:30pm and 8:30pm
  4. laughing out loud and saying, "c'mon, you're just the vet" when you call to change the appointment 3 hours after it was scheduled and they want to charge a no-show fee significantly reduces your chance of getting that fee waived.
  5. there should be 24-hour dry cleaners
  6. reading the newspaper at 5pm pretty much guarantees you still have no clue what's happening in the world right now
  7. apparently I write notes to myself *in Spanish* when they're about the nanny. I never knew that.
  8. the distance from my house, to the school, and back to the house is exactly as long as the song, "I Don't Dance" from High School Musical
  9. It's now the NEXT Monday, and my Tuesday list still isn't done...at some point you have to throw it out and just start over.
And finally, if you accomplish nothing else during your day but buying Sharpies you don't really need, consider it a roaring success. I totally recommend the Blue ones...

xoxo Kate

P.S. I found my favorite pen. It was hiding in the Sharpie cup. I'm going to write it on the New Tuesday List and then check it off. Ahhh. I'm already ahead of the game...again. 

UPDATED:

P.P.S There were like ten jillion typos in this thing. And the list was in the wrong place. AND I lost my keys, which I now have to put on tomorrow's list, but I can't find that either...

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

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