Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Daily Schedule...with Amendments

Several months ago, I gave my husband this *awesome* gift, which was this notepad that had 365 pages for an entire year's worth of To Do Lists!! He loves to make lists almost as much as I do; his problem lies in the fact that he never manages to cross anything off his list. Me? I'm basically unable to go to sleep unless all the things are done. Well, except for my List List -- which is my list of things I need to make lists of -- and that one sorta perpetually gets longer -- that's what she said.

Several months after he got this awesome gift, I noticed it was still sitting on his desk. And still wrapped in cellophane. Whuck?! Why is he using the back of old bank envelopes when it has the time of day, little boxes to check when a particular task is done AND space at the bottom for writing little notes to yourself. Oh, and it says TODAY IS ___________ at the top, so you just have to fill in the day. It's genius. And it's genius skills were being severely underutilized since he was employing it as a paperweight.
Since he did not properly appreciate the awesomeness of this gift, it became mine.  And I've become very productive with these lists. Not only do I get to check stuff off, but I have created deadlines for myself ALL. DAY. LONG. And you should know, I just love deadlines.  There's something about having to have certain things done by a certain time not matter what that I find oddly appealing. It's also probably about 4,000% of the reason why I'm never late.

 So, I took it back.

And here's the thing. It. Is. AWESOME! And I can think of all the stuff I want to get done and write it all down, and then plot it on the schedule part and time it out. And, I've gotten REALLY good at it. Like, here was what I came up with for Tuesday:

And I did it all on Monday night, so that I was all motivated on Tuesday morning, and I even managed to squeeze in a workout that morning that wasn't even on the schedule but did it anyway. Though, to be truthful, I didn't put it on the list because I was afraid I might not get up and go and then I'd throw off all the mojo and my day would blow up like it did the last time.

So, by 9:15am, I have accomplished three of the two things that were on my list. THREE OF THE TWO! I'm already ahead of the game. Up next the post office to mail back a few thin--*phone rings*

  • Lydia: Whatcha doing hooker?
  • Me: Just dropped Happy off at school. Going to the post office.
  • Lydia: I need a Selfy Steam. Meet me at Starbucks...
  • Me: OK but I have to run to the post office
  • Lydia: I only have until 10:30...the baby was up ALL NIGHT.
  • Me: [looking at mail, glaring at me back] OK, be there in five.
  • Lydia: Oh, it'll take me 20, because I have....
I stopped listening and started playing with my phone in the parking lot, and trying to reconfigure my day. OK, just shift everything down an hour and I should be all right. Maybe I can move the vet appointment? And go the grocery store during karate - it's just next door, after all.

Coffee with Lydia turned into me going to Target to buy her a T-Box, which,of course, led me to buying even MORE Sharpies and I'm pretty sure I keep getting the same cashier who keeps selling me more and more Sharpies and looking less and less put together and she's probably thinking I sniff them or something. Which I don't do intentionally but kinda do because I can't hold my breath that long and they're super smelly.

By then I was gross and smelly and still needed to get cleaned up and my whole morning was GONE and I totally gave myself an Elvis shower (that involves sticking your head under the shower nozzle, semi washing your hair and face and running a wet washcloth over the rest of you.) Shut up. It's all I had time for.

The rest of the day was a clusterf**k of throwing food at people and demanding they eat it, forgetting the Geriatric Gimpy Beagle's vet appointment which is *super vital* to him, you know, continuing to live, and succumbing to the TWOD's ---Terrible Wife Ordered Domino's --which sadly happens in our house. A. LOT.

What I didn't do: ummmm,
  1. get the posterboard for McGee's project
  2. mail anything
  3. write for the blog
  4. fill out my timecard -- so much for getting paid next week
  5. call the nanny about tomorrow. She does work for a crazy lady. I need to pay her more.
  6. go to the farmer's market, grocery store, karate or dry cleaners, which was the ONE thing McLovin asked me to do and I was all, "you got it dude" and now he's going to have to wear the white dress shirt that got mixed in with the darks and is now sorta puke colored. What tie goes with that?
  7. pack lunches for the next day
  8. bathe the children
  9. do anything with my hair after the upside down nozzle trick. I looked like Sideshow Bob.
Here's what I did do:
  1. saw Lydia once
  2. called Lydia three times
  3. answered when she called four times
  4. texted her 43 messages
  5. lost my favorite pen
  6. napped
Here's what I learned:
  1. Lydia and I are like 17-year old girls with texting issues
  2. I love lists but should never plan to be that productive
  3. the hours between 9:15am and 12:15pm seem to move more quickly than from 4:30pm and 8:30pm
  4. laughing out loud and saying, "c'mon, you're just the vet" when you call to change the appointment 3 hours after it was scheduled and they want to charge a no-show fee significantly reduces your chance of getting that fee waived.
  5. there should be 24-hour dry cleaners
  6. reading the newspaper at 5pm pretty much guarantees you still have no clue what's happening in the world right now
  7. apparently I write notes to myself *in Spanish* when they're about the nanny. I never knew that.
  8. the distance from my house, to the school, and back to the house is exactly as long as the song, "I Don't Dance" from High School Musical
  9. It's now the NEXT Monday, and my Tuesday list still isn't done...at some point you have to throw it out and just start over.
And finally, if you accomplish nothing else during your day but buying Sharpies you don't really need, consider it a roaring success. I totally recommend the Blue ones...

xoxo Kate

P.S. I found my favorite pen. It was hiding in the Sharpie cup. I'm going to write it on the New Tuesday List and then check it off. Ahhh. I'm already ahead of the game...again. 

UPDATED:

P.P.S There were like ten jillion typos in this thing. And the list was in the wrong place. AND I lost my keys, which I now have to put on tomorrow's list, but I can't find that either...

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

27 comments:

  1. I just *love* lists.... Sigh... ;-)

    Laughed so hard over this post. Don't know exactly why I got *so* hysterical. Could be that it's midnight here and I have completed nothing from my checklist from LAST WEEK, and here I sit making my list for this week (yes, I know M-W are gone now).

    Anyhoo, thanks for the laugh (starting to sound like The Offspring)!

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  2. My bff and I used to have a joke that we called each other 16 times a day, informing the other of all up-to-the-minute news and details. We knew we had a problem when one of us (probably me) called the other to say "Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I'm about to go to the bathroom, so if you call, and I don't answer, it's cause I'm in the toidy." Co-dependent, did you say? Um, maybe, just a little. Thank God for my friends who appreciate my crazy.

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  3. I am also a list maker, but in my case putting something on my list pretty much guarantees that it will not get done. It's like magic. Although sometimes I put things on my list that I've already done so that I can cross them off and feel good about myself.

    However, I would humbly submit that the reason that 9:15-12:15 seems to to go quicker than 4:30-8:30 might possibly be that there are only three hours between 9:15 and 12:15 while there are four hours between 4:30 and 8:30...

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  4. I too am a list-lover and will even write something onto the list AFTER I've done it just to see it checked off! What a feeling! (with that Flashdance euphoria...)
    Liz

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  5. Love lists!
    Last weekend my husband was raving around the house, because he had lost his list of the lists. It ruined his (and therefore my) whole day.

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  6. You need to create a rfml list pad that you can sell at the store!

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  7. Where did you get that awesome list pad...I need one too!

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  8. OH! I thought I was the only one who made a list of the lists that I need to write. I love making lists! Too bad I always loose them, or forget to bring them with me to the grocery store only to come home and find the dog chewing on it.. what is it with dogs and paper? I mean, its not like paper really tastes all that good...

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  9. @Liz: I do that too! Glad i'm not the only loser that is that desperate for a dose of self-confirmation. ;P

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  10. I love lists, I love checking off things on lists so much that if I do things that aren't on the list, I'll actually write them on the list so that it looks like I've done more than I have. Its really a disease we have!

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  11. Oooh, I love lists too! I want that list pad!!! Where did you get it? And I adore sharpies. Seriously, I have 5 or 6 PACKAGES of them in my desk. :) I get all excited when I see a jumbo pack of the colored ones. They're my drug... :)

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  12. "I Don't Dance"- love that song. And MANY other HSM songs which I unintentionally know because of my 9 yr old's past obsession w/the movies and because we have the Wii game HSM Dance.

    Anyway, I make lists, but on my PHONE!! That way I don't lose them! I. am. a. genius. :O)

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  13. Wow, I love love love that list pad! I usually do the same as LatinMama (I have an app on my phone that does lists, and lists of lists, and checking off lists, and it's AWESOME) but there's just something visceral about having a paper or whiteboard list and crossing things off. Lists--My anti-drug :-p

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  14. This is my life--a long list of lists of things I want to accomplish. Kate, I actually think you got quite a lot done in one day. I mean, you got to take a nap AND you got to hang with your bff! Usually I have to pick between those two things...

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  15. I could use a pad like that. Tell us, please, where you bought it!

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  16. I love the part about the morning going by faster than the evening! My husband is a chef and he works all afternoon, evening and night (and some mornings...) anyway, people who have there husbands home in the evening think I am crazy for feeling like he is gone so long, but they just don't understand the crazy time warp that happens that magically speed up mornings and slows down evenings!

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  17. The funniest thing about this whole post was that Lydia opens up her text with "Whatcha doing hooker?" (Hey Lydia, save yourself a character or two and just say "what up ho")

    <3

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  18. I think the evening slow down comes for several reasons, esp with younger kids. They tend to get up earlier (at least one of mine do) and then, the hubs usually works late-ish. If he is home before 7 it's cause for celebration. Also, with younger kids there is that special time from approximately 4-7 that is absolutely hellish. It's that special time when you realize you are out of your league, and they outnumber you.....or is that just me?

    Oh, and yes, as someone astutely pointed out 3 hours is less than 4.....

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  19. I don't normally do this but i wrote a post about lists that addressed this type of thing. Here's the link: http://allfookedup.blogspot.com/2010/09/in-which-i-discuss-lists.html

    Hope you enjoy it. Great post!

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  20. Ruthie, Queen of All Things ProcrastinationNovember 4, 2010 at 4:49 PM

    Calling all LLL's (Lovely List Lovers) - grab a vodka latte, put your feet up and prepare to waste a LOT of time (and printer paper) on flylady.net - Marla shows you how to make BINDERS upon BINDERS full of lists!!! HEAVEN!!! Actually, her holiday binder saved our Christmas a few years ago when I hospitalized. Just after completing ALL of the to-do's (thank you very much) in my "Holiday Control Journal," my appendix went, "KAH-BLAM!"

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  21. HILARIOUS! And my day kinda went like that too...I had so much planned...and I went to pick up something at a friend's and 3 hours late I am no longer motivated to do ANYTHING remotely productive and I have a killer headache. I ended up coming home and having a nap..and then rushing to at least get the dishes done before my husband came home ;)

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  22. There is one thing that goes on my list every.single.day.

    "Don't start drinking 'til noon"

    It doesn't get check off as often as it should...

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  23. Elvis bath? Why do you call it that?

    I call it a whore bath, or a hobo bath if i'm around someone's gramma.

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  24. perfect:) my husband keeps trying to get me to do "to do" lists with alerts on my phone...that way I have a blaringly obvious gauge of my slacker tendencies. Accidently run over phone...CHECK!

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  25. All I need to say is.. Have you discovered the awesomeness known as the Sharpie pen? They are AMAZING! And their home? Totally the Sharpie cup.

    I recommend the green ones :D

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  26. As I am reading this and feeling wowza superior for checking off all the things on my "Listypoo" as I call it...My son's vice principal calls to find out if he is home sick, skipping or if I am a lousy mother who forgot to call him off. Now that was some fast acting kharma...

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