Monday, November 15, 2010

The Lexicon - Final Installment

We just couldn't NOT include the newest arrivals. And, by *newest* we mean the ones that got all captured by our Spam Filter, who's really a bastard about that kind of stuff.

As always, here are Parts One, Two, Three, Four and Five. And, we're tasking ourselves with compiling them all and putting them together into the KDR (KidLand Desk Reference) to go with the MDR. We plan to have it done by the end of the week, which means it might get done by Christmas. Unless Kate puts it on her Tuesday List...then it'll totally happen.

Unless Lydia dares her to fix her drippy kitchen sink. Which DID happen. Lydia is writing all about it. It basically boils down to these important points: Kate is super handy with tools, Kate is awesome. Kate didn't get a weird haircut. You'll have to wait and find out if the sink is still drippy. Which is also totally possible.

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THE FINAL INSTALLMENT:

Monkey Nuts: (verb): act of standing at the kitchen island putting a sandwich, fruit and chips into a bag for work, to be eaten during the midday hour; in the human world, known as "making lunch"

Bowl in a China Closet: (phrase) Doesn’t quite have the same affect as a bull, because, you know… a bowl would just sit on the shelf.

Brownie Alamo: (dessert) thick dark chocolate treat topped with ice cream and whip cream; a treat most often remembered.

Dagot: (verb) to leave something behind when departing a location, usually a lunch box, patrol belt, book, or, for the maternal figures, one of the children, i.e. "*()@#* I dagot to bring the baby!"

Hangabur: (noun) a yummy, juicy grilled beef sandwich; also, a hot mess of a mom the morning after too many glasses from the T-Box.

Aliens: (noun) official vehicle used to transport injured people, i.e. "My baby brother fell and the blood was coming out of his head and the Aliens came and got him"; usually accompanied by some sort of flier fwuck, fly f**k, or, in Kate's house, a Big DooDah.

Pain in the Ask: (pronoun) variation on the given name of a parental figure, predominantly "dad" What my 2 year old answered when asked what her daddy's name was. Probably a parenting FAIL but funny as hell!

Turd Boys: (noun) the color that blends two parts blue to one part green; also used to differentiate 4-year old team names in hockey; i.e."I play on the Turd Boys Team."

Manna: (noun) Bananas that fell from the sky to feed the Israelites in the desert in the Old Testament; as in, heavenly manna.

Plogged: (verb) What happens to the toilet when a 3-4 year old uses almost the whole roll of TP to finish pooping; see also, plog, go tell your Dad

Oh-Kay-Yuh: (exclamation) child's response, combined with tendon-popping eye roll when said child is asked to perform rote chores ad nauseum, most often followed by vigorous foot stomping; i.e. Mother: "Daughter, please pick up your dirty underwear" Daughter: "Oh-Kay-Yuh!"

Mr. Boner: (noun) the skull and crossbones typically seen on a pirate flag. OR the picture you see on an x-ray type image.
Sparkling: (adjective) word used to describe the pins and needle feeling when a limb falls asleep, used in a sentence: "My foot is sparkling"

Meat-mo:  (noun) Quaker's instant breakfast cereal, straight from the pouch, just add water; see also opeenoh.

Animal Eyes: (verb) to examine in great detail as to determine reasonable outcome; i.e. "Mom, leave me alone, I am going to animal eyes some papers."

Chicafatumus: (noun) large water dwelling mammal, similarly related to the rear-on-nose-are-us

Moke and Troll: (noun) handheld device that performs functions of activating and deactivating electronic appliances, such as televisions and DVD players; previously called "children" 

Kepshit and Mupshit: (noun) red and yellow stuff grownups slather on their hot dogs and burgers.

Gashole: (noun) The hole in your car where gas goes in. As in, "Mommy, I love washing your car with Daddy. Look how clean the gashole is! I love a clean gashole."


(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

14 comments:

  1. To go along with Chicafatumus, my son was looking at a dinosaur book with his daddy tonight and said he was looking for the Rhinototops...apparently a Triceratops.

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  2. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! (Think I'll teach my daughter to say all these word this way instead of the correct way. It's just too funny not to.)

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  3. Omg at Mr. Boner.

    Thought of a few more today too -
    Damnupt! = stand up
    Shit mound = sit down
    Popinmouth = popcorn. because you pop it in your mouth.

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  4. I know this is the final installment, but I just have to share: This afternoon my daughter was excited to make Rice Krispie treats using Soup Loops instead (side note - DELICIOUS). FYI, Soup Loops = Fruit Loops

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  5. Don't forget "percoleeze" (Hercules in our house...)

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  6. I am not sure this counts but I have to share.....


    Back when my daughter was only 3 we were driving by an airstrip and discussing how people who drove planes were called pilots. She pipes up.... "Ohhhh.... and people who drive cars are called idiots, right mom?"

    Yes, my dear..... they are.......

    ReplyDelete
  7. We went this weekend to watch a bunch of shortfilms my husband and his friends have made and suddenly in the dark movie theatre my son shouts "I need more porncorn"

    ReplyDelete
  8. I can't believe I forgot this one...my girlfriends little girl calls her lady parts "Fine China". Don't even get me started on the "hand wash only" jokes we were cracking.

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  9. Love it!

    Our 3yr olds favorite character from Shrek 2 is Poots N Toots (Puss in Boots). :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. My son called Oatmeal "Mo-kee-oh" and he would point in the pantry and say mokeeoh over and over, I had to take things out one item at a time until we reached the conclusion that he meant Oatmeal. Fun times.

    He also says discs as "dicks" giggle giggle

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  11. fourmonsters: Momma MonsterNovember 17, 2010 at 4:32 PM

    @ Buckman: "Fine China" effing hiliarous!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. My 4 year old says "lasterday" as in, any day prior to today. Might be yesterday, might be last year.

    My 2 year old says "ho-E-tell" for hotel

    And both of them say "cause-be" instead of because

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  13. LOL, I thought our son was the only one that said "meat-mo" for oatmeal! Here are a couple other family favorites:

    Noonies (noun): any kind of cooked pasta

    Geeps (noun): roundish purple, red, or green fruits sold in a cluster at grocery stores

    Marigold (noun): Used in an exclamation acknowledging divine intervention, as in, "It's a marigold!"

    Bisticks (noun): a round, crumbly small bread product accompanying a meal, sometimes with sausage gravy.

    Gurt (noun): a soft milk product, often sweetened and flavored with fruit.

    ReplyDelete

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