Friday, November 12, 2010

The Lexicon - Part Doo

We're putting together a list of inappropriate and hilarious words that our kids either made up or got wrong and we called it "The Lexicon of Green Tomato Minds".  After looking over the emails and comments we've received, we were able to confirm that the people who read this blog are about a billion times funnier than we are and maybe the coolest people on earth.

"Shut" (noun): The messy stuff inside a tomato. For example: "Mom, there is a lot of shut inside this tomato, I got shut all over me."

"I-Lub-You" (phrase): Said when the speaker wants something from you.

"End's Meat" (noun): The leftover bits of sandwich meat mommy puts on your sandwich at the end of the week. As in, "Well, mommy is trying to make End's Meat, so she didn't buy more turkey."

"Ass Cream" (noun): What you get at Dairy Queen when you're visiting friends in Kentucky.

"Evapuation" (noun): The piece of paper your teacher sends home at the end of each week showing how well you did in class. Also, (verb): If you don't do well on your evapuation, then all the happiness evapuates in the whole house because mommy gets mad at you.

"Condom" (noun): When you go on a trip, you either stay in one of these (it's like an apartment) or in a ho'n'tell.  There are lots of both of these things at the beach.

"Smothercate" (verb): A combination of suffocate and smother.  Example: "MOOOOOOM! Stop! You're smothercating me!" When this condition applies to an adult child, the correct spelling becomes "sMOTHERcate" and can result in the adult child/victim of smothercation remaining single well into their thirties.

"Pooptail" (noun): What you find in your pants when you didn't get to the bathroom soon enough.

"Coocotter" (noun): An aircraft that is supported in the air by one or more rotors revolving horizontally. As in "Mom mom mom mom look mom look look look a coocotter!!! Looooook!!!!!"

"The Ho Depot" (name): A store where you buy mulch and hammers and stuff to work on your house. You might want to to try Lowe's for a while.

And, there's still a ton more in our inbox, so check back tonight and this weekend...we'll be making our kid-version of the MDR. How awesome is that?!?

xoxo Kate and Lydia
(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010


  1. Unbooger- the art of putting ur finger in someone else nose to try to get a booger out! Yes my kids do it. Sometimes to me...on a weekend morning....while i am 6 am

  2. The graphic of the shut in the green tomato made me laugh out loud. "Gross."

  3. when my son was around 2 or 3 years old and he tried to get the playroom TV to work, he followed the cord to the outlet and informed me, "mommy, it's not f*** up.." WHAT? "Mommy, you need to f*** it up."

  4. my son is two and half years old and is Star Wars crazy, these might hit a familiar note....Okie Kenokie (Obi Wan Kenobi,) Clone Chutchur (clone trooper) & Storm Pooper (storm trooper) and why Trooper is pronounced differently I don't know...

  5. my daughter says "grinsidies" for ingredients "Mum I'll get all the grinsidies out to make dinner" =D

    I don't think I've ever heard a funnier word than Pooptail!!!!!!!!!

  6. My son looked down my dress one evening and asked "Are those your boo-boos?"

  7. I'm from Alabama but I live in Michigan. I no longer have an accent. My friend is from Kentucky, now lives in Michigan, and has not even come close to losing her accent. I laughed till I cried over 'ass cream'. She didn't get it.

  8. Pooptail is my favourite (and simultaneously my least favourite =/ ).

  9. Let's see, my kids are forever stumping me with their language twisting abilities. There's my 5yo's patakiller, (caterpillar) and there's try-lan-chu-la, (tarantula). We also have eye caps, the thing you wear over your eyes when you're trying to sleep in the car (eye mask), then there's snot. For some reason, anything that's slimey in my house is snot. There's snot inside a tomato, snot inside a pumpkin, if you squish a plum you get snot, and if Grandma doesn't boil the Easter eggs long enough, guess what? The yellow part is snotty.

  10. Lob-a-lie: A song you sing to quiet your know, "lob-a-lie, and good night, go to sleep little darling".

  11. at my house, a 'floozy' is a blended beverage made from fruit and yogurt.

  12. had to go look in my kids journals for our faves: sex: the number that comes after five. duh. cinkle lars: twinkle twinkle little stars mooch: scootch and move put together as in 'mooch over and make room for me' cold toes are bare feet.

  13. We are all about the hand sanitizer at my house and a couple of the littles refer to it as "hanitizer". When we go out for lunch sometimes we go to "Old Mcdonald's and sometimes we go to "Booger Keen"

  14. My son calls hand sanitizer "hanitizer" as well, and I've managed to get approximately 30 people at the hospital I work at to use the word, including several doctors.

  15. Scar-tastic : using your snarky voice to say something when you really mean the opposite i.e. "Honey, I would LOVE for you to go hunting on the one morning I could possibly have some time off from the 24/7 job of Mommy." I was totally being scartastic.

  16. Too too fain=Choo Choo Train
    F*ck F*ck=Fire Truck

  17. I love Ass Cream! My grandmother from North Carolina always used to ask me if I had a "n'ass Christ-m'ass" Very funny. As well as "smothercate"...genious!!

  18. Helicockter = helicopter. The first time my daughter said it, I had to have her repeat it because I wasn't quite sure what I heard. Then I nearly peed my pants.

  19. My oldest says "Me wanna f&cky!" Translation: I want a fudgescicle.

  20. As said by my 21 mo daughter
    Nummy: any and all food
    Wagua: a mix between water and agua that currently means any beverage
    Do-do: Baby's name for her big sister (derived from dude) can also mean feet, and shoes
    Pooby: (pooh-bee) orginally meant just Winnie the Pooh, but now means all teddy bears, although sometimes sounds a lot like Poopie as she runs and hides with odors eminating
    Rawrdie: any animal that is reptilian and would presumably say "RAWR"

  21. Eeeooo: the Disney little Mermaid.

  22. "I lub you" reminded me of my pastor and his husband. They now just say "glub" because once they were saying "I lub you" many times really fast and it turned into "I glub you" so now it's just "glub".

    Glub you guys!

  23. Also, if the 3 yr old fell down and got hurt (like the time he cracked his head open on the slide at the pool ("poo") he was "Big sad". If he got into trouble he was big big sad. The quantification only happened to sad though.

  24. My 3 year old insists on calling our pole barn a "ho barn" He likes to tell people that we just built a new "ho barn" and he likes to go there with dad.

  25. We have marote for remote and we all say it now!

    "Ignoying" as in "you are ignoying me!" a combo of ignoring and annoying.

    "Stocko Man" = star command.

    "Usless S. Grant" = Ulysses S. Grant

    "Dinger" = the part of the body that makes you male.

    "Nibbles" = Nipples

    "Sleeping Bootie" = Sleeping Beauty

    All of these are so funny! Kids are the best, aren't they?




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