We're putting together a comprehensive list of the best, most hilarious and humiliating words our kids have invented or gotten wrong. Here's the first one. And the second. And the third. Because the mommies who read this blog are the funniest people ever, here's the latest installment of their contributions:Damnation (noun): A type of dog immortalized in the Disney classic "101 Damnations".
Zucchini (noun): A two piece bathing suit.
Cocks (noun): What you put on your feet under your shoes, comes in pairs. Variation: stockings are "big cocks" - making for an enjoyable holiday season.
Munkin (noun): What you wipe your mouth with at the table, in the possessive form. "Gimme back tha munkin - I gotta wipe my face off!"
Scrungebob Squirtpants (name): A cartoon character who is a yellow, square-shaped sponge who lives at the bottom of the ocean. If there is any squirting going on in those pants however, we really don't want to know about it.Moke (noun): The thing you keep on the coffee table that makes Scrungebob turn off before you want him to. It has lots of buttons on it.
Poopalee Dot (exclamation): What you say over and over and over in your loudest outside voice when Mommy is on the phone.
Gassy Ass (expression): Thank you in Spanish.
Davey Ronda (name): The correct pronunciation for the family vehicle, incorrectly labeled by the manufacturer as a Buick "Rendevous".
(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010
All of the following were just of few of many words my first son said, and he was an early talker, who talked ALOT!
ReplyDeleteMercy Bird Poop(expression): Thank You in French
Donkey Chain(expression): Thank You in German
Grassy Oz(expression): Thank You in Spanish
(we also used a few Finnish and Swedish expressions but he said those correctly)
Tobacco(noun): Earth moving machine, usually yellow & black in color. Very much the coveted gift by many little boys, whether for Christmas, Easter, Birthday or 'Just Because'...the latter is his reason why he wanted a tobacco as told to his grandpa.
Just the tip of the iceburg for this kid and his mispronunciations.
"Cotton cheese" - what you you use in making "paszana"
ReplyDelete"shocklate milk" - chocolate milk
Nibbles - where babies, puppies, and kitties get there milk from.
ReplyDeleteCrotch rot - coackroaches; really embarrising when yelled at the community pool, " look Mom that lady has crotch rot.
sus-spefic (specific)
ReplyDeletespit-tachio (pistachio)
He-whore (Eeyore....yes we got funny looks when we went to DisneyWorld and she screamed it in front of the characters!!)
party (potty...as in I gotta go party)
far-tooted (a noisy fart...yes, really)
piss-kitty (spaghetti)
I am sure there have been many more, but I can't think of them on the spot
we also have leg pits....like...the space behind the knee...
ReplyDeleteTaGo- An ice cream cone. My son always called them this because you ate on the go.
ReplyDeleteDeDe- My daughters name for her daddy.
My favorite from my daughter:
ReplyDeleteGoddess Grapes - said before dinner when blessing the food, I.e. Goddess grapes, God is good, let us thank him for our food.
My son is a big fan of both animals and the color pink, so naturally he loves flamingos. When he was about 20 months old he started trying to say the word "flamingo" and it came out, "f*ckamingo!". Naturally, the first time he said it, was in a big group of people at the zoo.
ReplyDeleteMy son recently had dental surgery and proudly told the Hub and me that he had told "everyone at school and daycare" that he was having an extra tooth removed and was going to have "AMNESIA!!" My son has been using multisyllabic words correctly since before age one like "antiperspirant" and "prescription from the pharmacy" so for him to get one wrong really cracked us up. Then we explained the difference, got him to say "anesthesia" and then joked that after the "anesthesia" he may really HAVE "amnesia". Next morning, D woke up in a panic that he would not know his mommy after surgery! We assured him he would. The funny thing was, he DID have some amnesia after the anesthesia. His first question when I went into the recovery area was, "When are they gonna start the surgery?" Poor cute bud!
ReplyDelete"pooter"-computer..."Mama are you working on your pooter again?"
ReplyDeletefurp- when your bottom burps
ReplyDeleteI know I have so many but here are some off the top of my head:
ReplyDeleteAss Indifiner- air conditioner.. my Goddaughter cracked me up with that one.. We still call it an ass indifiner... Its a family favorite.
Walter- water. for some reason my daughter had a problem saying this right. I would correct her and say WATER and she would say "thats what I said mommy .. WAALLLLTTTEEEERRR."
Jew Water- Mixture of juice and water. When my daughter was little I would cut all of her juice with water. She knew and didnt care because she liked it. However it was not funny when I was in a very jewish neighborhood in a store and she cried out "Mommy I want my jew water!" I almost died. (for some reason she could say water right when saying Jew Water but not when she used it alone.
Wiggyroom- Livingroom.
koptahopter- helicopter.
My daughter is now 8 and I have to say I so miss these. These post were so much fun to read. You ladies always make me laugh. Keep up the great work and thanks for letting me know I am not alone in my craziness. I am a huge fan!!
I think it is totally appropriate that I peed a little, ok more than a little, when I read piss-kitty.
ReplyDeleteMy kids call it a who-tel instead of a hotel. And because when we visit my Mom in Alabama, from Michigan, we stay in the who-tel, my nieces and nephew who also visit my Mom, from Oklahoma, think my family lives at the who-tel.
When my cousin was little he had a hard time pronouncing 'p'. So they were fuppies. I was Fenny.
And I think I may have to teach my kids 'fa-tooted'. That's just awesome.
My son pronounces his hard "k" sound as a "t" sound. So, long story short ...
ReplyDeletebaby foxes = "tits"
baby cats = "titties"
Today he told me, "nice titty". It was about a book we were reading ... and yeah, it was still funny. :o)
Ooh! And my nephew pronounces "fox" as "f*ck"! It's hilarious! We had him say "Fox News" the other day. :o)
"Spider Bark"
ReplyDeleteWhen one of the children passes gas(usually in the presence of adult company), and says, "Did anyone else hear that spider bark?"
Big, big, cocks (noun) = big big clocks like in clock tower.
ReplyDeleteBalls Hurt! (boy expression) = Yelled when a seatbelt is too tight. We got some looks in Target for that.
Elmo - the place where your arm bends. Also, the place that hurts like a sonofabitch when you whack it. As in, "Ooowwww, Moooommmmyyy!! I bonked my Elmo!!"
ReplyDelete(Also, my word verification was "zyglegab" which totally has to mean something in Kid-ish)
My favorite was my little sister discovering the word anonymity.
ReplyDeletePerhaps unsurprisingly, when we went to the beach. We were poking around in the tide pools, she must have been five or six. She poked an anemone and it squirted at her, and she squealed and said, "Sissy! I got squirted by da anonymity!"
And, forgot to add... When I was about 7, I was convinced all Palomino horses were "Al Pacino" horses.
ReplyDelete... Thanks dad.
Boobie - my daughters name for her imaginary friend. She was always walking around talking about "boobie". She is sixteen now, and we still laugh about it.
ReplyDeletePunkmen (noun) - Those big orange squash things we carve at Halloween.
ReplyDeleteFurrusterated (adjective) - How Mommy feels when things are not put away correctly, or she's tired, or when Daddy forgets to pick up a wet towel off of the bathroom floor.
Slip-Slops (noun) - The shoes you wear to the beach or pool that slide on easily.
Comterful (adjective) - When you're warm and cozy on the couch and you don't want to move.
My kids have a whole lexicon....I teach first through third grade so I get a double dose of goodness.
ReplyDeleteHeres a couple:
Lieberry - the place you go to check out books.
goat cart - the little car you drive around a track at fun parks
"Sandy Closet" is what my three year old called Santa Claus. Also Snow White is "Snow White & the Seven Divorces"
ReplyDeleteKazoo tight: what a 4 year old says after a sneeze.
ReplyDeleteYa'll might appreciate this one. For as long as I can remember my mom would say "off like a herd of turtles" whenever we would finally all pile into the car to go. The other day my 4 year old said, "Off like we heard a turtle."
ReplyDeleteShe also loves playing with her hoop a loop...as in Alvin wants a hoop a loop.
We are learning Christmas songs. At our house:
ReplyDeleteFrosty The Snowman is a Jolly Happy Sole, with a "Popcorn" pipe and a button nose and two eyes made out of "Cold."
I want rabbalollis for lunch!
ReplyDelete(raviolis) :)
Bullshit: (noun) Jewelry you wear around your wrist.
ReplyDeleteWhen my daughter was about 2 1/2, we had to go down to the basement for a tornado warning. My husband called Grandma from his cell phone, she told her "Grandma, we're down da basement cuz of a tomato!"
ReplyDeleteTesticles - wiggly squid arms. Oftentimes seen fried and served with sauce.
ReplyDelete"these testicles are hard to eat!"
(p.s. that's what she said)
In The Killer's song "When You Were Young," there's a lyric that goes, "He doesn't look a thing like Jesus." One day I was playing this tune in my minivan (aka Big Green Snot) and heard the kids sing loud, "He doesn't look a thing like CHEESE SAUCE." They were genuinely shocked when I informed him that CHEESE SAUCE was not the correct phrase. To this day, they sing the cheese sauce version.
ReplyDeleteWhen in Walmart my 3yr old always asks for Chicken Balls-popcorn chicken. I roll our cart up to the deli to get him a snack and before I get a chance he always raises his voice to ask for "Chicken Balls"...turning the heads of everyone in deli and produce.
ReplyDeletemy daughter used to call dalmations "Dog Marks" I am assuming due to their spots...
ReplyDeleteHello! I realize this is somewhat off-topic but I
ReplyDeleteneeded to ask. Does operating a well-established blog
like yours take a lot of work? I'm completely
new to operating a blog however I do write in my journal every day.
I'd like to start a blog so I can easily share my own experience and feelings online.
Please let me know if you have any kind of ideas or tips for
brand new aspiring blog owners. Thankyou!
Also visit my webpage - busload, http://irishgamingwiki.com,