Monday, November 1, 2010

Me Other Pants: Date Night with the Cap'n

Last Saturday night, the Cap'n took me to a fancy restaurant on our (bi-annual) date night.  We don't get out much, you know babysitters and reservations and kids not being sick and nothing else on the calendar...  The stars pretty much have to align for us to be be able to go out, so it was a pretty big deal.  I even wore a shirt that did not have a boobstain and put on makeup. 

After enjoying a delicious dinner, a refreshing cocktail and my husband's charming company, we asked the waiter for the check.  As the Cap'n went for his wallet, he asked me if I had any cash for the tip.

Now, when I am too tired or have had an adult beverage, sometimes things come out of my mouth that I don't mean to say.  Sometimes they're just slurry - other times they're Freudian - other times, I just mispronounce words that I have been saying correctly for 35 years (Kate really enjoys this phenomenon).  I have a friend for whom English is her second language and she says the same thing happens to her.  Except that English is my first language, and I've got no excuses.  Nor anything to fall back on when my English fails me, except perhaps clicks and buzzes. 

This is what I said:

"Oh! I do have money!"  -- felt around for wadded up dollars in my pocket -- "Sorry! I forgot I changed before our date, it must be in me other pants."

The Cap'n raised an eyebrow and cocked his head.  "I'm sorry, did you just say ME other pants?"

I nodded sadly.

The Cap'n nodded back and said: "I see. Are you a pirate?  Or a leprechaun.  Where are me other pants?  In me pot o' gold?  Arrggh!"

And at that I started laughing and sprayed mineral water with lemon all over the table in the very fancy restaurant.  Because I am an asshat and you can't take me anywhere.  Even in me fancy pants.

The. End.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

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