THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Since my last post I’ve gained one pound. I was a Jedi that first week. The second week? Not so much. Thank you Halloween. And curse you.
Here are some of the things I’ve already tried as a result of your feedback:
- Quinoa – delicious low calorie, high protein grain. Yummy – but pretty expensive. $11 for a bag that makes about ten cups of cooked quinoa. I loved it, but at ten times the cost of brown rice it won’t be an every week thing for me.
- Laughing cow light cheese – 35 calories per wedge of creamy goodness. Oh even yesser.
- Broth based, veggie soup - Helpful tip and very yummy, but if it’s all I eat I seem to be starving again in 2 hours. I think I will have it in advance of meals so I don’t over eat other stuff.
- Eating protein in the morning – I sort of have to do that or I get all low blood sugary. But a girl can sick of eggs. So I find myself eating 98% fat free turkey for breakfast and then the Cap’n is all like – what happened to my lunchmeat?
- Sparkpeople.com – I have sort of fallen off that wagon and I have no idea how to start a team but since it seems like there are a lot of us on there, maybe someone could do that?
- Lotsa water - working on it... I don't like water that much. Does Vitamin Water count?
- Sleep – I want 8 hours of sleep like a Kim Kardashian wants wide receivers. Sadly, unlike Kim I don’t get what I want. But the littlest is starting to sleep through the night most of the time so maybe I’ll finally get there.
- Sugar – I know. I need to not eat it and normally I don’t. But Halloween came and that ruined everything. Candy gets thrown out in a few days because at my house candy goes bad after 2 weeks.
- Processed foods – I’m totally on board with this one. I’m going to try and go a couple of weeks without easting any processed foods. Let’s see how it goes. I tend to cook and eat most of the time. The Cap’n has some food allergies so I have to make pretty much everything from scratch anyway.
- Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred – Kate and I are starting this on Tuesday. BOO YA! Our last day will be the day before her birthday which means we can have queso dip and wine and celebrate as God intended.
Maybe for that reason, so many people made sure I knew all about the big old dramatic hoo haw on the internet last week. Someone posted an article called “Should Fatties Get a Room?” from Marie Claire’s website on our facebook wall and messaged us about it. Maura Kelly was asked to write an opinion piece on the TV show “Mike & Molly” – featuring two overweight people who sometimes make out. And let me make something clear - I don't really like to watch anybody make out. I mean, I totally love True Blood on HBO but I fast forward through the sexy parts*. So I was prepared to be open minded. Here’s some of what she had to say:

"So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.
Now, don't go getting the wrong impression: I have a few friends who could be called plump. I'm not some size-ist jerk. And I also know how tough it can be for truly heavy people to psych themselves up for the long process of slimming down. (For instance, the overweight maintenance guy at my gym has talked to me a little bit about how it seems worthless for him to even try working out, because he's been heavy for as long as he can remember.) But ... I think obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over. It's something they can change, if only they put their minds to it."
And you know how she stays skinny? Be being even more preoccupied with it all than I am and I’m starting to feel like it’s taking over my life. I’m not sure you can win. And I want to square up and kick the world in the junk sometimes for making it so much harder than it needs to be – for all of us. So thanks, Marie Claire. You suck monkey balls for publishing that. You’re a women’s magazine that *hates* actual women. Good for you.
So we're turning to Jillian. For thirty days. And if at the end, nothing has really happened to our bodies, we'll eat and drink on Kate's birthday and the world can go suck it. But IF it's all awesome, we'll be like "Rock On Jillian! You understand women!" Even though we're not entirely sure she is one... Oh crap. Please don't tell her we said that.
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