Sunday, November 28, 2010

Our Very First Caption Contest: Turkey Say WHUCK?!

SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM FOR THE WINNING CAPTION!
We let Grandmere pick because Kate & I were too busy laughing like a couple of crazed hyenas.
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We are so in love with the crazy Thanksgiving turkey that Kate's mother-in-law made in the murtherfurkin dishwasher that we've decided to have a little caption contest.  Take a good, long look at the turkey's "face" and if you have an idea for a caption for this truly whucktastic photo, leave us a comment and we'll pick a winner and announce it Sunday night. 

So... What is this turkey saying to you?  We are dying to know - as most of the time the comments on this blog are funnier than the posts. The winner gets three things:
  1. Recognition as being the most clever and funny girl in MommyLand (we will even put up your picture if you want)
  2. Gets to come up with any topic she wants as a challenge post for us to write
  3. Will receive a special treat in the mail from Kate & Lydia just in time for the festive holiday season!
xo,  Kate & Lydia

PS: Also, we should say that we are fully copying the idea of a caption contest from the hilarious and awesome Mommy Shorts, who you should totally check out if you have a minute.

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Here's the turkey and the winning caption. 
Grandmere roasted the turkey in the dishwasher 
and then she picked the winner of this contest.
And we let her do it...


Here are some other captions that we feel deserve recognition (and had us dying...)  Thank all of you SO MUCH for writing these. We completely loved this contest and how brilliant you all are.  And Leigh Ann, send us an email at lydia.and.kate@rantsfrommommyland.com

Best random movie reference: "There is no Turkey, there is only Zuul." - Melanie C.

Best use of the word contortionist: "Contortionist turkey had never lost a drinking contest.. till she met Kate and Lydia." - Cherie

Best True Blood shout out: "I think Lafayette says it best:"B*tch, you come in my house, you eat my food the way i f***ing make it! You understand me? Tip your waitress."  - Mama Chaos

Best use of total freaking randomness: "Don't ask me why I was stringing the lights naked, just help me get my knees outta here." -Penny Broom

Best reference to the underworld: "Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial." - Kimberly

Best UsWeekly exclusive interview caption: "First mistake - I go into a hotel room with Charlie Sheen. Next thing I know, I wake up in a dishwasher with my legs in my mouth a chatty older woman in the next room and my picture on a website. Good Gobble, no more celebrities." - Anonymous

Best alarming and somewhat threatening caption: ""My giblets are probably frolicking somewhere with your pelvic floor. So wipe that smile off your face, snitch."  - MLV

Best translated caption and also Best Star Wars reference: "Achute, my pee kasa Jabba. Ha, ha, ha!"
~spoken in Jabba the Hutt's voice...and yes, I Googled how to say "Hello, my name is..." in "Huttese".  - Kim

Best naughty caption: "Is that a baster in your apron or are you just happy to see me?" - Jet

Best Chuck Norris reference: "This photo was taken 30 seconds before dinner at Chuck Norris's house. On Thanksgiving, the turkeys give thanks to Chuck Norris or he cooks them instantly with his rage." - Kate in Michigan

Best responsive after dinner caption: "Do you have a mint?" - Erin Jones


(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

113 comments:

  1. Ethel! Where's my dam teeth!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Duuuude....trust me. I'm just as surprised and horrified as you are."

    ReplyDelete
  3. Um... pretty sure we decided we need wine before we can participate in this AWESOME contest....

    Skinny Bitch and Fat Girl!!

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  4. "Wha? Ever hear of knocking???"

    ReplyDelete
  5. Luke - I am your father.

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  6. Munch munch! Meat the screaming turkey!

    (Munch was the artist who made the painting titled the scream...google it and you'll see exactly what I mean)

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  7. I am the love child of Preditor and Alien. Where is Ripley and Dutch?

    (I can't get over the fact how much this looks like both fo those things)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I told you TOFURKEY! Now my face will haunt you every time you get out the china and wonder what happened to the "good" table cloth!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Do you think I should have my eyebrows done too? Or would that be too much?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

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  11. I was sure I had some bronzer in here somewhere...

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  12. Try to stuff me, and you'll pull back a stump!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Well, there went *my* Thanksgiving! I hope you people are happy!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Don't ask me why I was stringing the lights naked, just help me get my knees outta here.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm shocked 'cause I never thought you snitches would find me in the dishwasher. Randy gave me the idea.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ya know.... it's not too late to get the ham outta the fridge...

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  18. "Once again, Lindsay Lohan gets caught with her hands down her pants... "

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  19. You're going to stuff what..where?! Not just No..HELL NO!!!

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  20. Damn, it's hot in here! Where's my T-box?

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  21. Just another foot in the mouth moment. Mom said shed wash my mouth out but I didn't think shed use the dishwasher.

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  22. Whuck, how did my murtherfurking legs get in my mouth?

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  23. I feel so empty :( Gonna go put my head in the oven. Goodbye cruel world.

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  24. There is no Turkey, there is only Zuul.

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  25. Let's see YOU stick your legs in your mouth and still smile.

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  26. I'm ready to get stuffed! Nom nom nom nom....

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  27. Ahh! I feel so... naked and exposed!

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  28. See?? I TOLD you this Poligrip Denture Cream was defective!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I think Lafayette says it best:"B*tch, you come in my house, you eat my food the way i f***ing make it! You understand me? Tip your waitress."

    ReplyDelete
  30. This just sings "ban de soliel: for the central bay tan" to me. Likely because I am so very mommy tired, old, and prone to being stuck on songs from commercials. And it looks like it's wearing freaky sunglasses. I mean, "stylish."

    ReplyDelete
  31. I just got Joey to get his head out, now YOU want in?

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  32. "I'm the Ghost of Thanksgiving Past..."

    ReplyDelete
  33. No....Ima gonna eat YOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

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  34. For the love of Maude, how many cycles have I been through now?

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  35. "I guess this serves me right for talking out my ass."

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  36. contortionist turkey had never lost a drinking contest.. till she met Kate and Lydia.

    ReplyDelete
  37. "Mom was right. If your keep making that face it's going to stick that way."

    Leigh Ann

    ReplyDelete
  38. Oops, "you".
    Leigh Ann

    ReplyDelete
  39. Jillian Michaels circa Day 31 of The Shred.

    ReplyDelete
  40. First mistake - I go into a hotel room with Charlie Sheen. Next thing I know, I wake up in a dishwasher with my legs in my mouth a chatty older woman in the next room and my picture on a website. Good Gobble, no more celebrities.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Seriously? THIS is my last photo? I feel dirty. Don't tell my mom.

    ReplyDelete
  42. And you snitches thought at trip to the Gyno was rough.

    ReplyDelete
  43. The studio is just waiting for J.Lo to sign on and then we're all set to start filming Anaconda II!

    (Thanks for the mention!)

    ReplyDelete
  44. Eat me and I'll introduce you to my friend- Sally Monella

    ReplyDelete
  45. "In a world filled with botox and silicone, it's really refreshing to find a chick with big, beautiful breasts, a sparkling smile AND a fantastic personality..."

    ReplyDelete
  46. Feeeeeeedddddd Meeeeeeee.....

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  47. When I said, "Take me to your leader" I didn't mean Grandma.... I guess I picked the wrong time of year to let you all in on the fact that Turkeys can really talk.... and aren't stupid. Doh. That freakin Duck got us again.

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  48. Behold the MAW from the dark nekkid side.
    MAW HAW HAW!
    Made by MAW in law.
    Do you want MAW body?

    ReplyDelete
  49. "Oh, Brett Farve sent me a picture? How awesome! Whuck?!!!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  50. "Why so serious?"

    GUH, that thing is creepy!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Go ahead. Put your hand in there. I dare you.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Do these glasses make me look fat?

    ReplyDelete
  53. "Usually something bare and, um, hairless wearing only a bead on a string would not be found on this blog."

    "Am I talking out of my a$$ again?"

    "I know, I look alarmed, but put the heat on me and I'll be golden in no time."

    "My giblets are probably frolicking somewhere with your pelvic floor. So wipe that smile off your face, snitch."

    ReplyDelete
  54. If YOU can bedazzle your vajayjay, surely you can do better for an old bird than these two friggin beads.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Imagine your clothes were stripped off that had directions printed with your demise, such as 15 minutes per pound and your last meal on earth was to include your vital organs boiled into dressing something cheaper than wonder bread...you'd look like this too.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Now I can't stop, so here's a few more:

    Does this string make me look fat?

    It's all fun and games until someone loses their giblets.

    Thanksgiving turkeys have a lot in common with moms. It takes a long time to prepare them and then ungrateful IHP ravage you without a second thought in mere minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Okay, last one, for real:

    Pluck you.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Next time I'll "invite" you to dinner!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Stuff it Fancy.

    Or...

    Megatron says whuck?

    ReplyDelete
  60. I gotta pee so bad! I can't shove my legs any higher and my eyeballs are turning yellow! (if there was video, this turkey is actually doing the pee-pee dance and screaming the above statement!)

    ReplyDelete
  61. I am NOT a turkey...I am Mr. Clean. I swear.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Due to the economy, The Joneses had to get the cheap turkey this year. Only to the embarrassment of all, they forgot to take her pasties off before cooking and one of the frequenters of The Jerky Turkey Strip Club recognized his dinner. No one will look at Uncle Albert the same again.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Cascade...take me away!

    ReplyDelete
  64. Is that a baster in your apron or are you just happy to see me?

    ReplyDelete
  65. "Achute, my pee kasa Jabba. Ha, ha, ha!"

    ~spoken in Jabba the Hutt's voice...and yes, I Googled how to say "Hello, my name is..." in "Huttese".

    ReplyDelete
  66. A stretched out bajingo and who knows what hanging off my nipples... welcome to mommyhood!

    ReplyDelete
  67. All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

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  68. Wanna see me pull my bottom lip over my head?

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  69. Stuff THIS in your piehole.

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  70. This photo was taken 30 seconds before dinner at Chuck Norris's house. On Thanksgiving, the turkeys give thanks to Chuck Norris or he cooks them instantly with his rage.

    --kate in Michigan

    ReplyDelete
  71. "You have been Bob-matized"

    (OK, this was my initial reaction, but it only makes sense for those who attend the Ded Bob Sho at Ren Fests)

    ReplyDelete
  72. You said you were gonna stick your foot in my a$$. I thought I would save you the trouble.

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  73. Screw the Dingo, I ate your baby.

    ReplyDelete
  74. can't .. be ... witty ... - ... laughing ... too ... hard.....

    ReplyDelete
  75. Nasty Pilgrim, go find a sheep.

    ReplyDelete
  76. How about?

    "what are YOU lookin' at?"

    ReplyDelete
  77. I wish you'd just pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow !!!


    ~Ali T

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  78. What has been seen can not be unseen....

    ReplyDelete
  79. Give it to me baby, uh huh uh huh. And all the girlies say im pretty fly for a white guy.

    ReplyDelete
  80. I bet your husband wished you were this flexible.

    ReplyDelete
  81. "I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for that meddling Kate."

    ReplyDelete
  82. "Um... this isn't what it looks like. Really."

    ReplyDelete
  83. "Know this, only one may enter here. One whose worth lies far within. The diamond in the rough."
    ~The Cave of Wonders (Aladdin)

    ReplyDelete
  84. Braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnsssssssssssssssss

    ReplyDelete
  85. WTF - why the face?

    ReplyDelete
  86. This is not the turkey you are looking for...

    ReplyDelete
  87. Honestly everybody, I won those eight Olympic gold medals fair and square. No performance enhancing injections required!

    ReplyDelete
  88. It's been ages since I've hit the tanning booth...

    ReplyDelete
  89. Oh turdish eye-slam! Bring me a rake and a hefty bag for this dead bird!

    ReplyDelete
  90. Either "I am not a crook" or " I'm stuffed! That's what she said!"

    ReplyDelete
  91. "Furck You. I look totally HAWT."

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  92. "The old bird sure can take a lot of stuffing." "That's what he said."

    ReplyDelete
  93. OHMYMAUDEOHMYMAUDEOHMYMAUDE!
    I made it onto your list!!
    *doing the dorky 'kate in Michigan' dance*

    I. Am. Thrilled.

    But Chuck Norris would like to have a word with you two.

    many hugs xoxox
    kate in Michigan

    ReplyDelete

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