Monday, December 20, 2010

The Christmas Tree: FFTIHAD

Kate tells me that this is funny.  I'm not sure I see it.  So here's what happened: I strategically placed our Christmas tree between shelves, boxes and the fireplace and then stuffed it into the corner of the room so it would be hard for the kids to knock into it.  Just keep that in mind.  The tree was up for less than 24 hours when I saw this:

Apparently, in the three minutes she was unsupervised my 2 year old snuck down to the playroom - knocked it over soundlessly like a fat little panther and then just came upstairs like it was no big deal.  Sometime later my older kids saw it and freaked out screaming like they'd just seen Santa get gunned down by renegade elves.  I looked at Mini-mini-me playing on the floor of the kitchen and asked her if she knocked over the Christmas tree. Without even looking up from what she was doing she was like: "Oh yeah."

The. End.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

18 comments:

  1. Hilarious! Makes me glad that mine is 16 and male.

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  2. We were trying to stay one step ahead of my 15 month old twins by placing our christmas tree on top of a table where they could not reach it. And a smart idea it was, until the cheapo tree stand gave out and sent my beautiful tree crashing down about 10 minutes after putting the children to bed! Needless to say, it is now tied to the wall!

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  3. Do we share a 2 year old? I caught my little cupcake INSIDE our tree today. She was still feet on the ground, but Buzz Lightyear was on his way to the top.

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  4. At Rose's comment -- you should listen to Stuart McLean's comedy bit "Polly Anderson's Christmas Party." There is a part in it where the 4 year-old at the part managed to get herself into and half-way up the Christmas tree before anyone noticed she was missing....they had to coax her out with candy after she had blown out the candles on the tree as one of the adults was trying to light them. (Pretty sure the story is 100% fictitious but one wonders if there must be some grain of truth somewhere from which his story took root....the funniest stuff is usually things you really can't make up, you know?)

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  5. I was sure that my 2yo tiny terrorist would be the downfall of our tree. Instead, I keep having to pull my 7yo away from it. She has a compulsive need to rearrange the ornaments, and I know she's going to send the whole thing crashing any day now.

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  6. And I thought we had trouble with the cats!

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  7. We use heavy wait fishing line to tie our tree back. ;)

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  8. Last year, that was our scenario with a 2 year old. We baby-gated that thing and anchored it to various points on the wall with fishing line and she still managed to find her way in. This year, other than a blue glass ornament that exploded like the Death Star, my now 3 year old is being good. She also understands the concept of Santa this year. Coincidence? I think not.

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  9. May I suggest that (with the wild influx of new readers that you're getting from being famous and all) you link the photo of the little cupcake baked by the devil to the source post? Because the newbies won't get the joke, and they'll think that it's just a random cupcake wreck.

    --kate in michigan

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  10. This, right here, is one of the little known benefits of being Jewish :) My 2-yr old has been nicknamed the Destroyer since early days. Her baby sister, originally nicknamed the Raptor for the inhuman sounds that came out of her mouth within minutes of being born, has now earned the moniker of Destroyer 2.0. There isn't a single space in my home that doesn't say "we came, we saw, we destroyed."

    I cannot even imagine what further destruction would be wrought in my home if we were to have a tree.

    The Menorah was risky enough.

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  11. My 19 month old son seems like an angel now. All he does is take off the ornaments. He seems to have no interest in pulling on the tree, or digging through presents. Must remember to give him an extra kiss tonight for it.

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  12. My mother-in-law told me that she used to put the tree inside the playpen when her boys were little, since they hated being in there anyway!

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  13. After 3 kids, we have found that the best use for our playyard is to protect our tree :)

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  14. I should probably be able to figure this out on my own but what does FFTIHAD stand for... I even consulted the handy desk reference but no luck!

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  15. Funniest F*@#ing Thing I Heard All Day

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  16. Hey, at least you hubby doesn't change your stocking holder around so that they spell "LEON" like mine does!

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  17. Last year, I was super pregnant and knew I couldn't handle a full tree and a 2 year old. I chained (with actual chains) the top 2/3 of our Christmas tree to the fireplace. It sat atop an improvised tree stand (cardboard box filled with full soda cans and more chains to weight it down). The bottom 1/3 stayed in the attic. After I covered the box with the tree skirt, you'd never have known ;-)

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