Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Even More More Made Up Words: Holiday Edition

We got together with the awesome folks at TheKidDictionary -- oh, that sounded gross, didn't it? -- for a little holiday lexicon of words that don't exist over Christmas, but totally should.

All year long, kids defy description. Or, at least descriptive words that we're allowed to use around them. Around the holidays especially though, children exhibit traits, behaviors and ideas that there are no words to describe. Until now. “The KidDictionary: Words Parents Need To Describe Their Kids” (http://www.thekiddictionary.com/) hopes to provide you with a much needed working lingo that will empower you to put the ways of your kids into words.

Or, at a minimum, keeping them from hearing the word "jackhole" on Christmas Eve. 

HOLDIDAY (HOLD-uh-day) n. :  Any commemorative day that completely takes over normal life so that everything else comes to a grinding halt - i.e laundry, bathing - until said event is over; quickly morphs into a MOLDIDAY about the 26th of December when someone inquires about the smell.

JINGLEBERRY (JING-uhl-behr-ee)  n. :  A Christmas Carol or other holiday song whose lyrics have been changed to incorporate potty talk and other themes contrary to the season the songs were intended to celebrate.
SHIRTURBED (shurr-TERBD) adj.:   Annoyed state of a child who just received an article of clothing as a present. 

RAMPAPER (rahm-PAY-puhr) v.:    To ferociously shred through the gift-wrap on a present with no regard for the festive design nor the time and care that went into wrapping it.

SAINTNICKTRONIZE  (saynt-NICK-truh-nize) v.:  To feign belief in Santa Claus with hopes of a bigger Chrstmas payload.  (See:  EASTERBLUFFING)

KODICK  (KOH-dik) n.:  The child who refuses to cooperate in the taking of the family Holiday card photo.

SLEDENTARY (SLEDD-en-tehr-ee) adj.:  A child’s state of being so bundled up to face the winter elements that they cannot move. 

STOCKINSOMNIA (STAHK-inn-sahm-nee-uh) n.: The inability to get to sleep on Christmas Eve

SANTASTROPHE (sann-TASS-truh-fee) n.: A parent’s misconception that their baby will enjoy being handed to an enormous, white-haired, bearded stranger in a blood red suit for a Christmas photo.

CHRISTINGENCY (criss-TINN-jen-see) v.:  Routine act of using holiday gift giving as a means of blackmailing one’s children.

INPLAYTIABLE (in-PLAY-shee-uh-bull) adj.: Filled with the desire to own every single toy advertised on television, which, as Kate and Lydia have made very clear, we're NOT BUYING.


(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

9 comments:

  1. "Elflation" - the difference in monetary outlay over and beyond that which had been planned for the holidays.

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  2. I have totally been SLEDENTARY- ied...I vowed I would never ever do that to my kids. Yet I have. Although for the most part even though where we live gets snow its not very often and not usually very much.

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  3. Holidolts: What your in-laws turn into every damn time they get anywhere near a display of toys, resulting in a Christmas full of noisy, poky, piecey,toys that WILL be used as weapons by SOMEBODY by the end of the day.

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  4. Ohholycrap! (OH-HO-ly-CRAP) adj. (1)Ususally used as an exclamation by parents after the kids 'decorate' the Christmas tree. (2)Describes the monumental mess after the kids open presents, involving shredded wrapping paper. (3)An exclamation used after the January credit card bill comes in.

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  5. Holidoody.

    What you get after eating all the red and green colored cookies and candy and icing and sprinkles. Red cookies give you red poop, green cookies give you black poop and blue icing gies you green poop. Or what the dog gets after eating the entire branch off the Christmas tree. "Mom! Bama must have eaten some tinsel, too, cause he just had Holidoody!"

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  6. santaremorse: when you realized you regifted something back to the original giver. YIKES.

    ReplyDelete
  7. eggnoggin - how children behave after watching too many holiday shows.

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  8. Kodick... BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    And to a previous commentor... I changed a diaper once last yaer and exclaimed, "It's beginning to look a lot liek Christmas"... Glitter Holidoody.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ChristIan's: When the oldest moves away married, the youngest doesn't open presents and destroy them because of non appreciation? Now everyone is happy with thems elves. Santa (mom) is so grateful!

    ReplyDelete

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