Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Even More More Made Up Words: Holiday Edition

We got together with the awesome folks at TheKidDictionary -- oh, that sounded gross, didn't it? -- for a little holiday lexicon of words that don't exist over Christmas, but totally should.

All year long, kids defy description. Or, at least descriptive words that we're allowed to use around them. Around the holidays especially though, children exhibit traits, behaviors and ideas that there are no words to describe. Until now. “The KidDictionary: Words Parents Need To Describe Their Kids” ( hopes to provide you with a much needed working lingo that will empower you to put the ways of your kids into words.

Or, at a minimum, keeping them from hearing the word "jackhole" on Christmas Eve. 

HOLDIDAY (HOLD-uh-day) n. :  Any commemorative day that completely takes over normal life so that everything else comes to a grinding halt - i.e laundry, bathing - until said event is over; quickly morphs into a MOLDIDAY about the 26th of December when someone inquires about the smell.

JINGLEBERRY (JING-uhl-behr-ee)  n. :  A Christmas Carol or other holiday song whose lyrics have been changed to incorporate potty talk and other themes contrary to the season the songs were intended to celebrate.
SHIRTURBED (shurr-TERBD) adj.:   Annoyed state of a child who just received an article of clothing as a present. 

RAMPAPER (rahm-PAY-puhr) v.:    To ferociously shred through the gift-wrap on a present with no regard for the festive design nor the time and care that went into wrapping it.

SAINTNICKTRONIZE  (saynt-NICK-truh-nize) v.:  To feign belief in Santa Claus with hopes of a bigger Chrstmas payload.  (See:  EASTERBLUFFING)

KODICK  (KOH-dik) n.:  The child who refuses to cooperate in the taking of the family Holiday card photo.

SLEDENTARY (SLEDD-en-tehr-ee) adj.:  A child’s state of being so bundled up to face the winter elements that they cannot move. 

STOCKINSOMNIA (STAHK-inn-sahm-nee-uh) n.: The inability to get to sleep on Christmas Eve

SANTASTROPHE (sann-TASS-truh-fee) n.: A parent’s misconception that their baby will enjoy being handed to an enormous, white-haired, bearded stranger in a blood red suit for a Christmas photo.

CHRISTINGENCY (criss-TINN-jen-see) v.:  Routine act of using holiday gift giving as a means of blackmailing one’s children.

INPLAYTIABLE (in-PLAY-shee-uh-bull) adj.: Filled with the desire to own every single toy advertised on television, which, as Kate and Lydia have made very clear, we're NOT BUYING.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

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