Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Glameness Part 2: FFTIHAD

The last time I colored my hair was the day before I went on TV and flailed around and said the word “Mom-vert” on live television. We haven’t been invited back.  Yet.

Anyhoo - It’s been about 2 months and my grays were starting to get on my nerves so back to Target I went to buy another box of hair dye with another coupon.

I came home, applied it to my head and set a timer. I had bought permanent hair dye for the first time and was therefore unprepared for the smell. It was eye-slammy. I had a big, slathery, slimy slop of stink on top of my head for 25 minutes. So I plunked myself down at the kitchen table across from my husband and stared at him.

Lydia: “My head smells.”
Cap’n: “Yes.”
Lydia: “My head smells like horror.”
Cap’n: “Yes.”
Lydia: “What color is it? Is the dye working?”
Cap’n: “Wet and shiny and goopy. Is that a color?”
Lydia: “No. And my head smells like an infection.”
Cap’n: “No. Your head smells like that part of I-95 just south of Philadelphia near the Naval Yard.”
Lydia: “Yes!” (Considers the smell of the Jersey Turnpike and the aroma of her home state, just a stone's throw away)
Cap’n: “The smell that says… I don’t really want to stop for a cheese steak after all.”
Lydia: (sadly) “Yes.”

The. End.

PS: The results of the permanent hair dying experiment were meh at best. Example? When I saw Kate for the first time afterwards I waited for to say something. She didn’t. But she did raise one eyebrow and sniff. And that’s why I am GLAME.

UPDATE UPDATE!! We actually got invited back -- Woot! Which means Lydia is frantically rifling through her closet and Kate is -- c'mon, this isn't even a mystery. Kate is buying new shoes. We'll be on Thursday morning, 11AM. We'll post it as soon as the online version goes up. xoxo K&L

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010


  1. I've helped my SIL color her hair and the smell is pretty eye slammy. We walked around squinting and looking at each other sideways as if we could avoid the aroma trail somehow.

    Kate's reaction = **awesome**

    And local TV Parte Deux? Even awesomer!

  2. Was it a regular sniff or a *righteous sniff*?

    p.s. Is Glame in the MDR yet...?

  3. I have dark brown hair and gray's so freakin' resistant to over-the-counter hair color that it's laughable when I attempt it. So, I am pretty much forced to visit my friend, the hair-guy. He's been doing my 'do for almost 15 years. It's all good.

    I love Kate... she is awesome.

    Can't wait to see the new interview!!!

  4. Looking forward to seeing you guys on TV again. How cool is that?
    I tried coloring my hair at home before and have decided it's not worth it. I just make more of a mess each time.

  5. HAHAHAHAHA The smell just south of Philly by the Naval yard!!!! My husband worked about 5 minutes from that smell for 3 years. One of the many things that make us happy he is not working for his former company anymore. Or at least that is what we tell ourselves as he sits here unemployed.

  6. Home hair dye is not for the faint of heart. I went for a few months with gothy-purple/maroon hair because I couldn't find my hair color. Something to do with the color wheel or something. Anyway my husband became concerned we were either going to go broke or I was going to go bald when I finally found something that sorta looks almost OK. At least my mom says I'm pretty.

  7. Am I adventurous for buying the stuff you have to mix yourself at Sally's? I hate the way the box color turns out and smells.

  8. Nice and Easy Medium Brown needs to be renamed "Witch Black." Thankfully, I found an awesome hair stylist who operates out of her home, therefore has very very reasonable prices. I promised her, after she fixed my "witch black" horror, to never ever buy the box again. I can thank my kids and the 15+ months (each!) of sleep deprivation for my standing appointment with my hair gal.

    I can't wait to see you both again!!! And I can't wait to see what shoes Kate buys!! :-)

  9. Omg I know that smell!!! We were actually about to take the ramp off the highway and changed our minds. Lolz

  10. I had to promise my hubby never to bleach@home again when I turned myself into a Muppet. I was at a salon until 10pm just to look normal and I thank my lucky stars that my hair didn't fall out.

  11. Omg! When you posted this, I had the timer set with a Walmart bag wrapped around my gooey head. I was going for the baywatch blonde to transform my locks from dish water blah. My results, not so good. It's Orange. Not even cool rockstar Orange. More like a cross between raggedy ann and an old lady. I dye my hair once year and flock it up everytime. Good thing I don't leave the house. Ever.

  12. Dearest Lydia. I love you and want what's best for you. Please try to start getting your hair colored by a professional. I used to do my own, but now it looks like hair again. (And it's not stinky or glamey.)
    It is a little expensive, and a little time consuming, but so so worth it. Meanwhile, you are fabulous no matter what:) Really. xoKC

  13. loreal excellence creme is my recommendation after 15+ years of coloring my hair

  14. Hey! I just bought my very own box of Nice and Jersey! And that is what I will call it from now on.

  15. i've been coloring my own hair since i was 17, from boxes. Some brands smell better than others. I found one once that actually smelled NICE, like shampoo, but I can't remember what brand. Now I have switched from permanent normal colors to temporary crazy colors. I'm the mom with magenta hair highlighted with teal and violet :) my kids think it's awesome, my husband calls me cindy lauper.




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