Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Glameness Part 2: FFTIHAD

The last time I colored my hair was the day before I went on TV and flailed around and said the word “Mom-vert” on live television. We haven’t been invited back.  Yet.

Anyhoo - It’s been about 2 months and my grays were starting to get on my nerves so back to Target I went to buy another box of hair dye with another coupon.

I came home, applied it to my head and set a timer. I had bought permanent hair dye for the first time and was therefore unprepared for the smell. It was eye-slammy. I had a big, slathery, slimy slop of stink on top of my head for 25 minutes. So I plunked myself down at the kitchen table across from my husband and stared at him.

Lydia: “My head smells.”
Cap’n: “Yes.”
Lydia: “My head smells like horror.”
Cap’n: “Yes.”
Lydia: “What color is it? Is the dye working?”
Cap’n: “Wet and shiny and goopy. Is that a color?”
Lydia: “No. And my head smells like an infection.”
Cap’n: “No. Your head smells like that part of I-95 just south of Philadelphia near the Naval Yard.”
Lydia: “Yes!” (Considers the smell of the Jersey Turnpike and the aroma of her home state, just a stone's throw away)
Cap’n: “The smell that says… I don’t really want to stop for a cheese steak after all.”
Lydia: (sadly) “Yes.”

The. End.

PS: The results of the permanent hair dying experiment were meh at best. Example? When I saw Kate for the first time afterwards I waited for to say something. She didn’t. But she did raise one eyebrow and sniff. And that’s why I am GLAME.

UPDATE UPDATE!! We actually got invited back -- Woot! Which means Lydia is frantically rifling through her closet and Kate is -- c'mon, this isn't even a mystery. Kate is buying new shoes. We'll be on Thursday morning, 11AM. We'll post it as soon as the online version goes up. xoxo K&L

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

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