Thursday, December 16, 2010

Google Image Search: Parenting Fail

My daughter is in second grade and came home with an assignment of researching someone of her ethnic heritage dancing in traditional clothes. We were supposed to search the internet for such a picture and print it out. Then she would take it to school and her class would make a big collage that would be both attractive and representative of our community’s rich cultural and ethnic diversity. How lovely.

We got started. I thought we would begin with traditional English dancing but all we saw were a bunch of dudes dancing around a maypole in bowler hats. Thumbelina pointed out that they looked like the guys from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and she was totally right. She was not interested. If we were going to bring in a picture that represented her family’s heritage - it was going to be of a girl and she was going to be pretty.

Got it. We started searching Lithuanian dancing (my side of the family). We found some cool stuff and some pictures of dance troops in awesome costumes and even clogs! But that wasn’t good enough. It needed to be a picture of ONE person – not a group. And it needed to be a pretty girl dancer.

So like a total jackass I let myself be guided by a seven year old and together we typed: “Pretty Lithuanian Dancer” into Google image search and hit enter. OH DEAR MAUDE. Apparently we needed to specify what we meant by “dancer”. And maybe we should have added something about traditional clothes or that the dancer should be wearing some. Because before I knew what happened lots of pictures popped up and there were poles and hot pants and a whole lot of pretty Lithuanian boobies.

“MOMMY! Where is her shirt?! Mommy! Where are her pants?! Mommy! Why did you slam the laptop closed? That’s very bad for the computer. By the way, I don’t think we can use any of those pictures. Are you crying? Or laughing? What’s the matter with you? Are you all right?”

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

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