Friday, January 7, 2011

WINNERS of the All New Caption Contest! Kate & Lydia Look Idiotic!

On Lydia's birthday, rather than entertain at her embarrassingly dirty charming home - she asked friends to join her and the Cap'n at a nearby Irish pub.  Lydia really wanted to do a bar night because the last time she did so it was in the late 90's.  And she has heard about people, mythical adult-type people, who on occasion go to bars and have drinks with their friends. It sounded so fun...

Oh it was.  Much mirth and merriment was had by all.  As you will soon see.  Because Lydia's dear friend Ellen brought her camera.  And took over 50 pictures. When she asked us to come over the next day to see what she had documented, we thought we were going to see this:



Feel free to caption any of the photos you see below. Winners will receive the knowledge that they are awesome and be given  MommyLand job titles created specifically for them by me & Kate, that they may wear with pride forever.  So basically nothing.

UPDATE UPDATE! 
AND THE WINNERS ARE:

Photo One: Kate

Photo #1: I used to be a 34C, then I had kids. Now I'm a 34Long. Melanie Crowe
January 7, 2011 9:17 PM
Melanie: For awesome creativity, inappropriateness, ratcheting up the "eww that's gross, isn't it?" factor...and for being brave enough to insult Kate and live to tell about it, we dub you:
Vice President of My-Eyes-Are-Up-Here



Photo Two: Kate and Lydia

Photo #2: Can you believe that she's STILL trying to see down my shirt?!?! 
And I put this scarf on just to block the dirty, dirty peeper! 
Simchas Jewels
January 8, 2011 10:46 PM

Simchas Jewels, if that is your real name (we're spies...we can totally spot a fake) For the best interpretation of what was, in fact, Kate licking off the foam off Lydia's beer (yes, it WAS gross) we hereby name you: 

Director of Cleavage Control


Photo Three: Lydia

Photo #3: Lydia tries using The Force. Cali in Jersey 
January 7, 2011 9:33 PM
And, to Cali in Jersey: For best use of movie references, specifically our affinity for all things Star Wars, you shall henceforth be known to all of MommyLand as:
The Cinematic Grand Potentate
THANK YOU to everyone who played. We laughed ourselves silly every time a comment came in. You guys are FUNNY. We like to think that it helped that we looked like complete idiots...Kate's never going to live down that photo. Ever. 

Finally, several of you made comments on the footwear...we think we needed to address those comments we found to be particularly awesome:


As to the nail polish, FrazzledMama...yes, I need a pedicure. Thanks for noticing, ya snitch...
...and, to boymommynyc, they're HEAVY...

XOXO Kate and Lydia

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010
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46 comments:

  1. Photo #2...

    No, you can't suck the head!

    ReplyDelete

  2. Photo #1: "... they used to be THIS big, but now..." (sigh)

    ReplyDelete

  3. Lydia, I'm a Converse girl too. They rock!

    ReplyDelete

  4. Photo #1: "I'll have what she's having."

    ReplyDelete

  5. Photo 1: And after the surgery, I will have amazing melon boobs like THIS!!

    Photo 2: Kate"You call those BOOBS?" Lydia "Don't insult the girls!"

    Photo 3: This ain't Sam Adams!

    Photo 4: Kate needs new nail polish

    ReplyDelete

  6. #1, "If I were any more amazing, I'd squeeze my own boobs!" (she said that!)
    #2, "She wants me to drink THIS? and? kiss her feet? WHUCK?"
    #3, "Worse than I thought...those Europeans can keep it to themselves!" (just don't tell them I said it! eek!)
    #4, "Best party ever!!!! W/ shoes! Suck it!"

    ReplyDelete

  7. ok..so I rephrase!!! started w/ # 2..oops! lmao

    ReplyDelete

  8. omg...I can't read....forget that second post. God almighty! I will never win this one. geez. More T Box PLEAsE!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

  9. photo 1- Kate can do Meg's scene from the diner in When Harry Met Sally so much better than Meg did!

    Photo #2- Kate- Down it Snitch and we'll show Jillian who's boss! Lydia- Shhhh...She could be listening!

    Photo 3- Whuck- How the hell do they drink this shit!?!

    ReplyDelete

  10. photo 1,

    "my boobs are so full, and I'm so drunk!"

    ReplyDelete

  11. Photo 3 - The bubbles tickle my nose! I guess I should drink it and not snort it.

    ReplyDelete

  12. Photo #3

    Oh WHUCK THE..... how does anyone suck down something SO EYE SLAMMY???

    kayleigh's mom
    heidi k

    ReplyDelete

  13. Photo #1
    I've escaped the house and now I'm FREEEEEE!!!

    (OK, I suck at this, but y'all are awesome and I wanted to play too)

    ReplyDelete

  14. # 3:
    She has a certain Guinness sais quoi about her...

    ReplyDelete

  15. Photo #1: I used to be a 34C, then I had kids. Now I'm a 34Long.
    Melanie Crowe

    ReplyDelete

  16. photo 3: back door friends AREN'T the best, despite what that dam* duck said. :)

    ReplyDelete

  17. Photo 1
    If you only knew the awesomeness of my breast....able to feed children in a single cry and evem yesser!!!! turn a mans head because they are completely without reason complete JACKWAGONS!!!!! I LOVE being a WOMAN!!!!

    ReplyDelete

  18. Photo #2: Back off, you crazy Snitch. Don't shed your car payment hair in my birthday beer!

    ReplyDelete

  19. Kate has gotta be singing some Barry Manilow in Photo One.

    Photo Three: "I wish...Guinness...had more...fiber..."

    ReplyDelete

  20. Photo one: Kate gets tipsy and starts daydreaming she's Pamela Anderson running down the beach.
    Photo two: (Kate) "I love good head." (Lydia) "That's what she said!"
    Photo three: Lydia tries using The Force.

    ReplyDelete

  21. I don't have a caption but, jeebus...I want your shoes Kate!

    ReplyDelete

  22. Photo 1: How much wine do I need to drink for my boobs to get this big???

    Photo 2: Smelly pirate hooker - Kate, quit trying to steal my Guinness!

    Photo 3: I am in awe of the amazing head on this thing (That's what she said!)

    ReplyDelete

  23. Photo #1

    Seven! Seven! Seven!!!

    (Friends reference)

    ReplyDelete

  24. Photo #1

    Seven! Seven! Seven!!!

    (Monica from Friends ;-)

    ReplyDelete

  25. #2
    Touch my Guinness and you'll wind up with your LAMB in your taco... take that Hooker

    :oD

    ReplyDelete

  26. 1 - and then milk started spraying EVERYWHERE!

    2 - Someone tell that Smelly Pirate Hooker to get her hair outta my beer...

    3 - The Cap'n's got nothing on this head (that's what she said)

    ReplyDelete

  27. Photo #2
    Kate: "Here, Lydia, drink this."
    Lydia: "Perfect! A beer that will make me a GENIUS!"


    Photo #3
    Lydia: "Are you sure I have to drink this to be a genius?"

    ReplyDelete

  28. Photo#1: "Bring me another Steeeeeelllaaa (hushed voice)artois!
    Photo#3: "She took the cup...and again she gave thanks and praise...broke some wind...gave it to her disciples and said, 'Do not take this, any of you, and drink from it. This is my Guinness, The Guinness of the first and last mommy's night out. I'm going to drink this...and then have to go pee!'"

    ReplyDelete

  29. Photo #1: "They're real...and they're spectacular!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BL2PicT9Kng&feature=related

    Photo #2: "Oh, so THAT'S what they mean by 'great head'!"

    Photo #3: "Oh, that was gross, wasn't it?"

    ReplyDelete

  30. You two ladies are AWESOME!! I just wanted you to know that. :)

    ReplyDelete

  31. Pre-photos...note how Kate rests her *girls* on the table cuz they need extra support while Lydia points out the obvious (guess that's a Cap'n thing...)

    Photo #1: By the way? They're real, and they are *fabulous!*
    Photo #2: Hooker! Just blow on the head for extra flavor!
    Photo #3: Flavor?! Your pirate whore breath tastes like ass!

    ReplyDelete

  32. #1 - "Lydia's stains were located here and here"

    ReplyDelete

  33. Photo 1 Kate was singing Shania Twain's "I feel like a woman"

    Photo 2 Kate: Let me show you how to remove the "head" *snicker* from the brew
    Lydia: Oh no you di'n't!!

    Photo 3 Lydia decided to sneeze the foam off of the brew, lest she get a beer foam mustache

    You ladies really know how to make Mommmies laugh!

    ReplyDelete

  34. Ohhhh you guys! I think I recognize the pub! Can I come next time? I promise to be a jackhole too...

    ReplyDelete

  35. Photo 1
    Whose hands are those?

    -- kate in michigan

    ReplyDelete

  36. I MUST comment on the Hangover picture, even though it's not one of the choices, because I wanna know if Kate sat down at the table and positioned her girls on top of it? Or did she scootch into the booth, hold 'em up, and allow the wait staff to push the table in so that she could rest them. Because who needs a bra when you can just put 'em on the table all night?

    ReplyDelete

  38. Photo number one needs to be edited with a pair of Ray Charles sunglasses and a piano added.

    ReplyDelete

  39. Photo1--When Harry met Kate
    Photo 2--Hey, Lydia! Did you know Guinness is Irish for "genius"?

    ReplyDelete

  40. Photo #1 Kate...

    "I'll have what she's having!"

    ReplyDelete

  41. #1: Gentle massage for when mastitis sets in...

    ReplyDelete

  42. Photo #2
    Can you believe that she's STILL trying to see down my shirt?!?! And I put this scarf on just to block the dirty, dirty peeper!

    ReplyDelete

  43. Photo 3: Thith beer thuth bit my thongue.

    Can I be Chart Gimp, please? The business cards would be AWESOME.

    ReplyDelete

  44. Photo #1
    This always seems like a good idea until it leads to being impregnated.
    Photo #2
    I SWEAR! It's BEER that you CHEW! Look, I'll show you.
    Photo #3
    Eeewww! I've found something else I'm allergic to besides stilettos.

    ReplyDelete

  45. I know you posted winners already, but the first photo calls out for this one:

    She had HUGE tracts of land!

    (if you know the movie reference, it is funny, otherwise you'll think I've been sipping from the TB too much)

    ReplyDelete

  46. I'd like to thank the academy...

    ReplyDelete

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