Friday, January 7, 2011

WINNERS of the All New Caption Contest! Kate & Lydia Look Idiotic!

On Lydia's birthday, rather than entertain at her embarrassingly dirty charming home - she asked friends to join her and the Cap'n at a nearby Irish pub.  Lydia really wanted to do a bar night because the last time she did so it was in the late 90's.  And she has heard about people, mythical adult-type people, who on occasion go to bars and have drinks with their friends. It sounded so fun...

Oh it was.  Much mirth and merriment was had by all.  As you will soon see.  Because Lydia's dear friend Ellen brought her camera.  And took over 50 pictures. When she asked us to come over the next day to see what she had documented, we thought we were going to see this:

Feel free to caption any of the photos you see below. Winners will receive the knowledge that they are awesome and be given  MommyLand job titles created specifically for them by me & Kate, that they may wear with pride forever.  So basically nothing.


Photo One: Kate

Photo #1: I used to be a 34C, then I had kids. Now I'm a 34Long. Melanie Crowe
Vice President of My-Eyes-Are-Up-Here

Photo Two: Kate and Lydia

Photo #2: Can you believe that she's STILL trying to see down my shirt?!?! 
And I put this scarf on just to block the dirty, dirty peeper! 
Simchas Jewels
January 8, 2011 10:46 PM

Simchas Jewels, if that is your real name (we're spies...we can totally spot a fake) For the best interpretation of what was, in fact, Kate licking off the foam off Lydia's beer (yes, it WAS gross) we hereby name you: 

Director of Cleavage Control

Photo Three: Lydia

Photo #3: Lydia tries using The Force. Cali in Jersey 
THANK YOU to everyone who played. We laughed ourselves silly every time a comment came in. You guys are FUNNY. We like to think that it helped that we looked like complete idiots...Kate's never going to live down that photo. Ever. 

Finally, several of you made comments on the footwear...we think we needed to address those comments we found to be particularly awesome:

As to the nail polish, FrazzledMama...yes, I need a pedicure. Thanks for noticing, ya snitch...
...and, to boymommynyc, they're HEAVY...

XOXO Kate and Lydia

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010


  1. Photo #2...

    No, you can't suck the head!

  2. Photo #1: "... they used to be THIS big, but now..." (sigh)

  3. Lydia, I'm a Converse girl too. They rock!

  4. Photo #1: "I'll have what she's having."

  5. Photo 1: And after the surgery, I will have amazing melon boobs like THIS!!

    Photo 2: Kate"You call those BOOBS?" Lydia "Don't insult the girls!"

    Photo 3: This ain't Sam Adams!

    Photo 4: Kate needs new nail polish

  6. #1, "If I were any more amazing, I'd squeeze my own boobs!" (she said that!)
    #2, "She wants me to drink THIS? and? kiss her feet? WHUCK?"
    #3, "Worse than I thought...those Europeans can keep it to themselves!" (just don't tell them I said it! eek!)
    #4, "Best party ever!!!! W/ shoes! Suck it!"

  7. I rephrase!!! started w/ # 2..oops! lmao

  8. omg...I can't read....forget that second post. God almighty! I will never win this one. geez. More T Box PLEAsE!!!!!

  9. photo 1- Kate can do Meg's scene from the diner in When Harry Met Sally so much better than Meg did!

    Photo #2- Kate- Down it Snitch and we'll show Jillian who's boss! Lydia- Shhhh...She could be listening!

    Photo 3- Whuck- How the hell do they drink this shit!?!

  10. photo 1,

    "my boobs are so full, and I'm so drunk!"

  11. Photo 3 - The bubbles tickle my nose! I guess I should drink it and not snort it.

  12. Photo #3

    Oh WHUCK THE..... how does anyone suck down something SO EYE SLAMMY???

    kayleigh's mom
    heidi k

  13. Photo #1
    I've escaped the house and now I'm FREEEEEE!!!

    (OK, I suck at this, but y'all are awesome and I wanted to play too)

  14. # 3:
    She has a certain Guinness sais quoi about her...

  15. Photo #1: I used to be a 34C, then I had kids. Now I'm a 34Long.
    Melanie Crowe

  16. photo 3: back door friends AREN'T the best, despite what that dam* duck said. :)

  17. Photo 1
    If you only knew the awesomeness of my to feed children in a single cry and evem yesser!!!! turn a mans head because they are completely without reason complete JACKWAGONS!!!!! I LOVE being a WOMAN!!!!

  18. Photo #2: Back off, you crazy Snitch. Don't shed your car payment hair in my birthday beer!

  19. Kate has gotta be singing some Barry Manilow in Photo One.

    Photo Three: "I wish...Guinness...had more...fiber..."

  20. Photo one: Kate gets tipsy and starts daydreaming she's Pamela Anderson running down the beach.
    Photo two: (Kate) "I love good head." (Lydia) "That's what she said!"
    Photo three: Lydia tries using The Force.

  21. I don't have a caption but, jeebus...I want your shoes Kate!

  22. Photo 1: How much wine do I need to drink for my boobs to get this big???

    Photo 2: Smelly pirate hooker - Kate, quit trying to steal my Guinness!

    Photo 3: I am in awe of the amazing head on this thing (That's what she said!)

  23. Photo #1

    Seven! Seven! Seven!!!

    (Friends reference)

  24. Photo #1

    Seven! Seven! Seven!!!

    (Monica from Friends ;-)

  25. #2
    Touch my Guinness and you'll wind up with your LAMB in your taco... take that Hooker


  26. 1 - and then milk started spraying EVERYWHERE!

    2 - Someone tell that Smelly Pirate Hooker to get her hair outta my beer...

    3 - The Cap'n's got nothing on this head (that's what she said)

  27. Photo #2
    Kate: "Here, Lydia, drink this."
    Lydia: "Perfect! A beer that will make me a GENIUS!"

    Photo #3
    Lydia: "Are you sure I have to drink this to be a genius?"

  28. Photo#1: "Bring me another Steeeeeelllaaa (hushed voice)artois!
    Photo#3: "She took the cup...and again she gave thanks and praise...broke some wind...gave it to her disciples and said, 'Do not take this, any of you, and drink from it. This is my Guinness, The Guinness of the first and last mommy's night out. I'm going to drink this...and then have to go pee!'"

  29. Photo #1: "They're real...and they're spectacular!"

    Photo #2: "Oh, so THAT'S what they mean by 'great head'!"

    Photo #3: "Oh, that was gross, wasn't it?"

  30. You two ladies are AWESOME!! I just wanted you to know that. :)

  31. Pre-photos...note how Kate rests her *girls* on the table cuz they need extra support while Lydia points out the obvious (guess that's a Cap'n thing...)

    Photo #1: By the way? They're real, and they are *fabulous!*
    Photo #2: Hooker! Just blow on the head for extra flavor!
    Photo #3: Flavor?! Your pirate whore breath tastes like ass!

  32. #1 - "Lydia's stains were located here and here"

  33. Photo 1 Kate was singing Shania Twain's "I feel like a woman"

    Photo 2 Kate: Let me show you how to remove the "head" *snicker* from the brew
    Lydia: Oh no you di'n't!!

    Photo 3 Lydia decided to sneeze the foam off of the brew, lest she get a beer foam mustache

    You ladies really know how to make Mommmies laugh!

  34. Ohhhh you guys! I think I recognize the pub! Can I come next time? I promise to be a jackhole too...

  35. Photo 1
    Whose hands are those?

    -- kate in michigan

  36. I MUST comment on the Hangover picture, even though it's not one of the choices, because I wanna know if Kate sat down at the table and positioned her girls on top of it? Or did she scootch into the booth, hold 'em up, and allow the wait staff to push the table in so that she could rest them. Because who needs a bra when you can just put 'em on the table all night?

  37. Photo number one needs to be edited with a pair of Ray Charles sunglasses and a piano added.

  38. Photo1--When Harry met Kate
    Photo 2--Hey, Lydia! Did you know Guinness is Irish for "genius"?

  39. Photo #1 Kate...

    "I'll have what she's having!"

  40. #1: Gentle massage for when mastitis sets in...

  41. Photo #2
    Can you believe that she's STILL trying to see down my shirt?!?! And I put this scarf on just to block the dirty, dirty peeper!

  42. Photo 3: Thith beer thuth bit my thongue.

    Can I be Chart Gimp, please? The business cards would be AWESOME.

  43. Photo #1
    This always seems like a good idea until it leads to being impregnated.
    Photo #2
    I SWEAR! It's BEER that you CHEW! Look, I'll show you.
    Photo #3
    Eeewww! I've found something else I'm allergic to besides stilettos.

  44. I know you posted winners already, but the first photo calls out for this one:

    She had HUGE tracts of land!

    (if you know the movie reference, it is funny, otherwise you'll think I've been sipping from the TB too much)

  45. I'd like to thank the academy...




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